Once long ago, near the land of Hyrule, in the kokiri village there lived a young boy. this young boy was named link, and he was a loser. first of all he didn't have a fairy, which was a huge thing in kokiri village. the only people without fairies where losers, like that one kid with the snot dripping down his nose, and it's just hangin' there and you know it's gotta fall off eventually but you hope it won't fall of while he is near you because your mom just washed your shirt and she will be so mad if you get any thing on it and...wait, where was I? oh yeah link was a loser. well today was links lucky day because it just so happens that a fairy was sent to him that morning.

"hey, hey link, hey, listen, hey"
"god what do you want!" Link scream rising to see who was making all the noise.
"Sweet Jesus, your a fairy" he exclaimed "Hey, Hey listen"
"what? are you gonna tell me I have an amazing adventure to go on, and I must save a princess or something like that?"
"Hey, over here"
"yeah, I know, I see you, what the hell do you want"
"hey, hey, hey listen, over here"
"God dammit, I would get the defective fairy."
"hey"
"shut up" he yelled running out of his tree house.
"Hey link, whats up"Saria said "oh you got a fairy? that's cool"
"no time to talk now saria, gotta find princess's,"Link said walking right past her "oh that's cool, hey I made you something"she said smiling "yeah that's real cool, show it to me later ok?" he ran to an upper level of the village where a small hole was conveniently placed so he could easily get the sword that had somehow stayed hidden there for years without anyone noticing.
"Sweet, a freaking sword"he said "hey, hey listen"Navi sang floating behind him, he sliced her in half and walked away.
"there, now that that is taken care of I guess I need a sheild." he thought crawling through the small space and running to the store. "oh wait, I need some rubies" he thought "I know" he began cutting the grass and as he did rubies came poping out. "there we go, that should be enough rubies." he said not questioning the imposibility of what had just happened. he walked into the store and said "hello, I would like your best sheild."
"well we have this talking sheild."the man said "Sweet jesus a talking sheild?"he asked "yep, listen" he said pointing to a sheild and staring at it for about a minute or so. "HAHA, oh sheild you so funny"
"that is one witty sheild, I will buy it from you." link said handing him som rubies, then he turned and lifted the sheild up into the air. "does that happen alot?"
"All the time" link said walking away.