Another Callen/OC one shot (Because there's not enough Callen/OC out there!) I don't own anything you recognise! Song- Hear You Me- Jimmy Eat World. There's no one in town I know,
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
G Callen had closed so many doors in his life.
Seen so many things no person should ever see. He looked down at the headstone; a small bouquet of flowers in his shaking hands. The grass around it was soggy from the previous night's rain. He knew she was another person who had seen things she should have never seen.
He remembered the dark hair glistening in the afternoon sun; her blue eyes poking out though her fringe. He knew she had saved him in ways she would never know. Ways that he had never known until now. The stone said that she was only 22 years old when she died. He knew it all too well, because he was there.
He knew all the warning signs; he knew they were there. He just didn't do enough to stop it from happening. Everyday of his life was a struggle for him. To get up, to breathe, to figure out ways in which to stop the guilt from eating him alive.
What would you think of me now,
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that.
Now I'll never have a chance...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He had many wishes in his life. Most of them he knew he would never get. Some of them he hoped weren't true, and some of them he knew he could get if he tried hard enough.
But the one thing he wanted was her.
He could feel the tears make their way down his tear stained face. He roughly wiped them away and knelt in front of the grave. He wondered if she would still love him if she knew what he had become.
The hallow, shell of a person who couldn't commit because he thought he was going to loose them too.
Her last words echoed throughout his head; as she lay in the hospital bed. Her face so bruised that if he didn't know any better he wouldn't believe that it was the same girl.
He held her hand in the moments before she had flatlined.
And it's an image he could never rid himself off. An image which haunted his every thought
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
They both knew the dangers of being in state care. They both grew up pretty much together. With him only being five years older then her; he thought it was his responsibility to look after her.
Something he never did after though.
She would joke with him, comfort him when it all got too much and vice versa. He knew that she cared about him; that's why when she started dating this new guy, he couldn't help the jealousy which followed for the next five months.
He hated this new guy, knew he was bad news. He also knew that he couldn't say anything without telling her how much she really meant to him.
Now he wished he took that chance.
So what would you think of me now,
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that.
Now I'll never have a chance...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When he first saw the mark on her cheek; he had just come back from Moscow. Another undercover op. Another few months away from her.
He asked her what happened and the second she looked away from him; he knew. He knew that this guy hit her. He also felt the anger boil up inside him. Not only anger from her being hit, but anger because he couldn't stop it from happening.
He couldn't save her.
The tears once again flowed as he placed the flowers on the grave; someone had already been here to place flowers there; because there was a bunch of sunflowers placed neatly on top of a small grassy patch. He reached over and saw it was from Mel.
Another girl he was in foster care with.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He remembered grabbing her boyfriend by the throat and dragging him along the carpet. His federal officer badge left behind at the office.
All he had on his was his gun. Something which felt so heavy tucked into his belt. He remembers the guy crying as he placed the gun to his head; taking the safety off.
His own tears had now ceased and all he felt was the coldness creeping up on him. He wanted to shoot so badly, he wanted to hear him beg for his life.
Something which she must have done.
He felt an arm on his shoulder and saw his colleague standing behind him; the look in his eyes told him that he could pull the trigger and no one would have to know.
Turning back to the man on the floor, he saw the fear. He also saw her standing there; telling him that no it wasn't worth loosing his job over.
But then he thought; avenging her death was worth him being killed himself.
So he pulled the trigger.
And if you were with me tonight.
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big.
God wouldn't let it live...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He couldn't remember the last time he cried himself to sleep. He felt he was being unmanly, weak. It was when his mentor found him did he realise that it was okay to cry.
And he did so when his wife and daughter had been killed. He was asked if he could do anything differently, what would it be.
He replied that he would protect her. Make her see that that guy wasn't worth all the pain and heartbreak.
His mentor agreed. He also said that he could sit around, feeling sorry for himself; or he could get his ass back out on the field and stop his moping.
She wouldn't have wanted him to sit around. She hated it when he was in a soppy mood. Always told him to go out and get some air when he was in a mood.
Something which he only did when she went with him.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Taking in a deep breath, he looked up at the sky. Wondering if she was up there, watching him. Wondering if it was her who helped him survive being shot five times.
He kept repeating the words over and over in his head; her telling him not to give up just yet.
Explaining to him that he had so much to live for. Sam, Kensi, Hetty, Nate, Hell even Eric was his family.
The brother, the annoying little sister, the wise mother, the weird cousin and the nerdy little brother. All his family.
Something that, without them, he highly doubt he would have survived as far as he had.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
God I loved you" He whispered as he ran a hand over the cursive name "I'm so sorry I let you down" He closed his eyes for a moment as he felt a surge of warmth throughout his body.
"I'm sorry I never told you earlier. Before this. Before Moscow, before you met him" He continued. He jumped as his phone rang and pulled it out of his pocket.
He took one last glance at the stone before turning around and walking away. Something, ever since that fateful day, he had become a master of.