Just some nonsense I put together while bored. Not for the faint of heart or serious of temperament!


"Hey Kagome, I have a question."

"Hmm?" Kagome looked to Shippo as she emptied out her backpack. Their group had stopped for the night to set up camp. "What about Shippo?"

"Where do babies come from?"

And with those five words Shippo managed the impressive feat of pulling Kagome's stomach down to the ground. Sango snorted with her hand over her mouth, while Miroku grinned a little.

"Wh...what did you say?" she feebly asked, hoping and praying she had just misunderstood the young boy.

"Where do babies come from?"

"Well Shippo, that...that's a very good question." she said, looking around as she stalled for time. "You're such a bright boy, always asking questions..."

Suddenly Inuyasha jumped down from above them, two freshly killed rabbits in his hands. He had barely landed before Kagome grabbed him." Hey! What are you doing?"

"Shippo needs you to tell him where babies come from!" she shouted, steering him towards the boy.

"Why can't you tell him?"

"Because...because it's something that fathers should tell their sons." she stammered, pushing him forward.

"I ain't his dad!" Inuyasha protested as he dug in his heels.

"Well you're the closest thing he has right now so it's your responsibility." she pushed him forwards to the confused kitsune with one last mighty shove. "Now you two talk...somewhere out of hearing range."

Inuyasha looked down at Shippo, then shrugged. Whatever, he could handle it. He motioned the boy to follow him behind a tree.

...

"Kagome, I still have some questions."

Kagome looked to Shippo as she gathered sticks for their fire. A few minutes ago the two of them had come back. Inuyasha had looked quite pleased with himself, while Shippo still seemed confused.

"Okay...what about?" she asked, gathering her courage and hoping Inuyasha had done most of the heavy lifting.

"How does the baby get up the mommy's butt?"

"INUYASHA!"

Sango and Miroku burst out laughing, almost falling over.

"What?!" Inuyasha yelled back as he skinned the rabbits.

"What did you tell Shippo?" She demanded as she stomped over to him. "You know that's not true!"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "What? I told him how it works. The man tells the woman to have a baby, then it grows in her and comes out her ass a week later."

Kagome was just about to sit him when she noticed the earnest look on his face. Her anger faded, quickly replaced by fear as the two looked at her.

Oh no...he really didn't know. But how was that possible? Surely someone would have told him?

"That...that's not true. At all."

Inuyasha blinked. "But that's what Miroku said when I asked him..."

Kagome turned to glare at the monk, who quickly tried to hide behind Sango.

"I thought he was joking with me!" He pleaded.

Shippo and Inuyasha both looked to Kagome.

"Then where do babies come from?" Shippo asked her.

Kagome's face was as red as Inuyasha's firerat clothing as she tried to force herself to speak. "They...that is...uh..."

Sango sighed, taking both boys by the hand. "Okay you two, I'll tell you." she led them behind the tree.

Kagome was grateful that Sango had taken on explaining everything for her. Really she was.

She just wished they could all whisper. But no matter how hard Kagome plugged her ears and tried to pretend she was someplace else, she could still make out a few sentences.

"So they don't come out the butt?"

"But then how come Miroku likes to grab yours?"

"But how does it get in there?"

"So that's why boys have one and girls don't?"

"Is that why mine is like that in the morning?"

"Does that mean Inuyasha could make a baby with Kagome?"

Finally after what felt like hours of this torture Sango led the two of them back to camp. Inuyasha was almost as red-faced as Kagome was, while Shippo seemed his usual self again.

"Told ya it was impossible that way."

"Alright, so I was just a little confused. It's not like you knew it either." Inuyasha replied. He paused for a moment, as if just now understanding something.

"So that's what your grandfather meant when he asked of we were sleeping together. I told him we slept together all the time, along with Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Kirara, and sometimes other people. I was wondering why he looked so surprised."

Kagome wondered if it really were possible to die of embarrassment...