Chicken Bob

Author's Notes: Dude. Don't ask me. This is just some screwed up thing I came up with in half an hour. Even though Hikaru no Go is not shounen ai or anything, it could SO TOTALLY PASS AS IT, just because Touya can be THAT CREEPY. It's so creepy, it's funny. I'm not even a shounen ai fan. But I totally couldn't give up the chance to screw around. ^_~

Anyhow, this is my first Hikaru no Go fic. I just recently finished the series, and I enjoyed it a lot. ^_^... although I was really upset with the way it ended. It was really unfair. T_T So... please enjoy this... errr.... strangeness.

Hikaru, Akira and Akari are all gathered at Hikaru's house to play Go quietly for a change. But it's not long before everyone gets a big, bad misunderstanding. And it all starts off with a piece of chicken.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hikaru stuck a piece of chicken in his mouth. He wasn't very hungry, but it was chicken, and it was there, and someone HAD to eat it. Akira glared at him as Hikaru chewed innocently and picked from a fast food box with the label "CHICKEN BOB" on it. Not only was Hikaru paying no attention to the game, Hikaru was also eating with his fingers leaving sweet sparkling fat dripping on his skin.

Akira tapped his finger impatiently, waiting for some form of event to happen. Hikaru became annoyed and returned a rebellious look.

"What??" Hikaru asked, finally noticing Akira's piercing glare.

Akira sighed. "...you're not paying attention. And you're going to ruin the go board with oil all over it."

"So? I'm hungry. Besides, I can eat whatever I want, when I want. It's MY Go board, anyways."

"Whatever! Either pay attention to the game or I'm going to leave!" Akira spat back. Akira and Hikaru had agreed to get together where they can play with some peace and quiet, without the harassments of the other regular customers at the go salon. Naturally, Akari was over as well, although the current game they were playing was too complicated for her. Instead, she overtook the TV downstairs, waiting for their game to finish. It was different, but it was nice. However, the quarrelling still remained.

Hikaru frowned after some time, realizing that Akira's judgement wasn't quite just. In fact, his judgement left open a perfect opportunity to pick on him. He needed to have SOME fun, anyways, and fun didn't seem to take a big part in Akira's life.

"You're not paying attention to the game either, anyways." Hikaru said as a comeback.

"I am too!" Akira huffed. He'd been waiting impatiently to continue the game since Hikaru became 'hungry'.

"You were staring at ME the whole time." Hikaru started.

"...." Hikaru was right. But that had nothing to do with it.

"Seriously, you've got like some freakish obsession or something."

"..." Akira's brain started to overwork itself. Figuring out what Hikaru is thinking had always been a complicated problem for him.

"Do you find me that sexy??"

Akira fell over, totally caught off guard. Hikaru had tried his patience, and was about ready to rip the world in two. People respected him all the time, so his tolerance for resisting any form of teasing wore down quite quickly.

"THAT'S NOT THE--"

"So? Answer my question." Hikaru crossed his arms, giving the best serious look he could give.

"Wh--....." Akira was at a major loss of words.

"Well?" Hikaru questioned impatiently. "Do you?"

"Sh...SHUT UP!"

Why? Why? Akira couldn't find an answer. He never actually thought about it. And now that he did, he realized that he probably had been looking at Hikaru over and over again. In fact, he probably could describe every little detail of his face. A feeling swelled up inside. A frustrated feeling. He didn't know what to do, or say nonetheless.

"Whoa whoa. I was only kidding!!" Hikaru defended as he toppled over with a surprised look. Then he started to eyed him suspiciously. "Uhh... that was a kind of harsh reaction though... and you couldn't answer... .... Touya... don't tell me..."

Akira grumbled as he slapped his forehead. "No! No no no. Whatever! Just shut up, drop it, and let's continue the game and..."

Hikaru immediately thought it over. It was a false alarm after all, and found it quite safe to continue. He smiled smugly. "Besides, you'd never have a chance with me. I'm way too good for you. And not only that, I don't swing that way. I mean, there's a lot of girls who are much better than you anyways! Hmm... like Akari."

Akira could feel his head swelling. Hikaru had the nerve to continue teasing him, and he's had enough. He tried to regain composure. There was no way he was going to lose to Hikaru. Not even in a petty, ridiculous argument like this.

"Shindou, you should know better than to compare me to a girl."

Hikaru gave him a cocky smile. "You could easily pass as one."

That does it. Akira pointed an accusing finger at him. "You're the one who'd easily pass as a girl!! You're so much more emotional, you can't tolerate many things, your room is CLEAN, your eyelashes are long, and your hair is soft and--"

Hikaru shoved his palm in front of Akira's face. "STOP. That's CREEPY. Next thing you'll be telling me is how smooth my skin is."

Akira flipped. "YEAH, SO WHAT?? It's TRUE, isn't it??"

"Doesn't mean you have to refer to me like that in a creepy way!!!" Hikaru shouted back.

"What's so creepy??? It's just the way you look!"

"YEAH, but you'd OBVIOUSLY know every detail because you always seem to STARE at me all the time!!"

"I--...." Akira coughed. Hikaru was right. Read through his mind, and picked out what he was thinking earlier. It was at this moment he was hoping for someone to come by and interrupt so that this situation would never be questioned again. It was awfully awkward. It was like as if a Go game had been turned completely against him.

And to his relief, someone came.

"Mou, you guys!" Chimed a sweet girl's voice from behind them. It was Akari, and Akira couldn't help but sigh in relief.

"Stop fighting like a married couple already! I'm tired of hearing you guys fight about who's the girl..."

Another unexpected argument.

Silence.

Hikaru was taken aback at first, because of course, it's really ODD for a normal guy to want to be a girl. But then decided this posed as another good opportunity of making fun of poor Akira. Hikaru frowned innocently and put his finger on his bottom lip. "But Akira-chan's being MEAAAAAN. He wants ME to be the girl! But he KNOWS I hate being on the bottom!!!"

Akira looked at Hikaru, and only a little later had he realized what he had said.

"SHINDOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Oh, the joy of teenage boys.



Hikaru and Akari had 3 seconds to get out of that room. While Akira was attempting to tear up Hikaru's room into pieces, Hikaru and Akari made their way into the living room almost out of breath of laughing.

"Hikaru, you're too much sometimes." Akari laughed between breaths.

"Yeah well. He doesn't get it much. It's something everyone needs once in a while." Hikaru explained. "Although... I really DO find it creepy. He stares at me all the time. Sometimes I'd like to know what that dork is thinking."

Akari smiled nervously. "Well. At least you said you 'don't swing that way'. I'm better than Touya-kun, ne?"

Hikaru's face reddened immediately. This was definitely something he didn't want Akari to hear. "Y-YOU HEARD THAT??!?"

"I was listening to your quarrel since it started..." Akari looked down. "Is... there.... a deeper meaning to it, perhaps...?"

Hikaru let his hand wander to the back of his neck, and scratched it.

"Awww come on Hikaru, say something!"

Hikaru looked away. He searched his vocabulary banks and said the first thing he could. "I-it was only a joke..."

And Akari turned to look the other way. "Yeah, I thought so..."

No, those were the wrong words to use. Hikaru looked at her again, shaking his head. "N...no! It's not that! I..."

Akari closed her eyes. "Don't worry, it's okay."

They found a seat on the couch and just sat in silence for the next couple of minutes. It seemed that Akira had calmed down, as there were no traces of noise coming from there anymore. It was more than likely he was taking a breather. Hikaru DID go a little too far teasing him anyways.

"Ne, Hikaru..." Akari broke the silence.

"Yeah?"

Akari and Hikaru found themselves staring at each other. It became a moment where you just couldn't look anywhere else. Nothing was happening, yet something was going to happen. They snapped out of dreamland when they heard footsteps behind them. Akira was there, and was giving them this LOOK.

It was a look of no description. It was still an angry face, but at the same time it had disappointment and sadness written all over it. It even could have been jealousy. And after looking at that kind of face, Hikaru shivered.

"WHOA MAN! I TOLD YOU, THAT'S CREEPY!" He flipped. "Don't you DARE come near me!!!! You've got some serious problems!"

Akari just inched slowly away, Hikaru slowly following.

"...can we at LEAST get back on normal grounds? Like it was earlier?" Akira's face hid under his hair, and he started to gain a tighter grip on his palm.

Akari tugged at Hikaru's shirt. "Uhmm... I think he's asking to make up from your married couple argument from earlier."

"Stop referring to it like that!! That's just wrong!" Hikaru complained, looking at Akari. His stare turned to Akira. "And STOP it! I told you! Okay??"

Akira looked at Hikaru, and held out his hand. "W-wait!"

"This is getting out of hand. I LIKE AKARI, okay?? AKARI!"

Hikaru took Akari's hand. Both had faces that were as red as tomatoes. Hikaru pulled her out, torn between wanting to hold her close to him to get the point straight to Akira, and just pulling her hand. He had never expected to end up in a situation like this. Although this probably meant that Hikaru and Akari were awkwardly and officially 'dating', Hikaru was too embarassed to try anything at the moment.

They left his house. It was odd, but Hikaru was more than willing to leave Akira there at the moment. And surely enough, Akira was soon alone in the house, looking at the door where Akari and Hikaru left off. He blinked in confusion, embarrassment and frustration. Hikaru totally got the wrong idea.

"...I just wanted to finish the game..."

The End.