More Than You Know
More than you know.
In total, they were merely four small words. Then again, I love you was made up of only three, and yet the meaning that those words carried was infinitely bound to the condition of the heart.
These four words may not have seemed much to anyone looking in from the outside, but for one very special pair of immortals, they held more meaning than most humans could ever hope to grasp.
Those words were a declaration offered naught but once by a man who most certainly did not wear his heart on his sleeve. Or did he, and every single person who wasn't his Little Wolf went on with their lives without ever noticing the depth and truth of love that he was capable of feeling? Or was it that no other love could ever compare to the soulful things he felt for one Hayley Marshall?
In the end of it all, did it really matter? The truth was plain: Klaus Mikaelson told very few people that he loved them. Outside of his immediate family, the list was probably no greater than two women in ten consecutive lifetimes.
But Klaus Mikaelson had only ever told one person that he trusted them in all his thousand years — and not just that he trusted them, but that he trusted them more than they knew.
That person was Hayley Marshall.
She had given him many things that his thousand years on this Earth could not, and a magical tribrid daughter was only the tip of the iceberg. She had given him hope, both literally and figuratively speaking, offered him a true place of equity and solace alongside her as a parent and as the hybrid rulers of New Orleans.
She was the only person who had never, even for a second, stopped believing in him. More than that, she never gave up on him, even long after every single one of his supposed family had lost faith in his intentions.
That's why Hayley Marshall was so special to him. So special in a way that merely telling her that he loved her in three little words, seemed far too ordinary and greeting-card like than the exquisitely one-of-a-kind declaration she deserved.
She deserved a special phrase, meant only for her. A special phrase to smelt it's way into the part of his ancient heart that was reserved only for her, etched alongside her irreplaceable anchor in the Mikaelson family history, or more correctly, Klaus' entire world.
More than you know.
Four words that Klaus Mikaelson had unthinkingly uttered to his grieving daughter, and yet, they could not have been more fitting.
True enough, Hope knew he was grieving for her mother, but he doubted that she had realised the true gravity behind his tears. Did she know it was because he felt alone and bereft in this cold, dark world without his shining light, his voice of reason... his Little Wolf? Did she know his heart was utterly broken over the loss of the only person who saw him as his equal, no matter the horrifying truth of his crimes? That the one person who truly understood him and the tragedy of his past had been cruelly ripped away from him before he could say how much she had meant to him?
No.
That's what made his quietly uttered 'So do I... more than you know,' so entirely fitting, paralleling even, to the only other time he had spoken the very same words. Now, in this moment, he was thinking and feeling more than his beloved daughter could possibly know.
The same was true that day in the Bayou some fourteen years ago, when he'd attempted to prevent Hayley marrying Jackson. He'd been feeling so much more than she could've (and now would never) known.
He could still remember that exact moment as though it was yesterday — though for a vampire, he supposed that it really wasn't that long ago. Not when you were as old as he.
Still, he closed his eyes and found himself back in that very moment with the birds rustling the treetops in the light spring breeze, the sound of water rippling across the stones as tiny waves lapped at the bank and children laughing in the distance, their lives as carefree and happy as the one Klaus had wished for his own daughter.
Of all the pretences he'd concocted in his mind as to why Hayley marrying Jackson was a good idea, he hadn't been able to trick himself into believing one of them. He had carefully gathered 'evidence' in a turbulent hurricane of his own paranoia, and set fire to a catastrophic storm that was supposed to hit Hayley so hard she either told him what she really thought of him and left him forever, or backed of marrying her suitor and followed him home.
His home, was where she belonged. Moreover, she was his home.
There was no home without Hayley.
He had been ready to destroy her in that moment because he felt far too much and far too little, and all of it was for the same Hybrid Queen, but all for different reasons. Fear, paranoia that once she married Jackson, he'd never see her or his daughter again. Pain and jealousy over the vagrant wolf getting what Klaus so desperately craved; a true family of his very own. And love. Being loved unconditionally, by a woman as powerful, beautiful and strong as her — by someone who truly understood how twisted and dark he really was, and loved him despite it.
He wanted his baby girl to come home, but he truly didn't want to lose her. So Klaus did what he always did when things suddenly became too real, too out of his control... too terrifying, and lashed out. He hurled painfully cutting words, and slung many of his ludicrous imaginings about poor Jackson at Hayley — he had been sure that he'd finally tipped her over the edge.
But then he had looked at her. Really looked.
He looked up, and what he saw was a mother as terrified of the future as him, who would do anything to get her baby back, and who wouldn't rest until he, the baby's father, saw and understood her reasoning. Until he agreed to her plan.
Until he trusted her.
What she didn't know, was that Klaus already did trust her.
He was enamoured by her. He was in awe of her.
And he loved her.
Klaus himself didn't even know how much yet, but still, he knew that whatever came next, he was screwed. She'd left her mark on him, cut her way into his ancient soul so very deeply that there was no way out now — she was trapped on the inside of his scarred heart, healing it from the very inside. The only way he'd ever be able to shake her would be to tear out his own heart.
To let her go now would be like death.
But he couldn't tell her that.
He was a coward, far too scared of her becoming a target for one his many enemies; a liability. He was terrified of losing her. It was incomprehensible. Even back then, he knew that such a horrid thing would destroy every fibre of his being; he and Hayley were kindred spirits after all.
Just as he couldn't bare to leave her standing there in the forest like that, thinking that he didn't trust her. That was the furthest thing from the truth, and the thought of her feeling so untrusted when in fact, he trusted her more than any other person… It nearly killed him.
He trusted her and so much more. The amount of trust, the things he felt for her? It went beyond what words could even begin to express.
That was why he said, 'I do trust you. More than you know.'
It was as heartfelt and honest as he could be, without ignoring her or revealing a truth she didn't need to know. He was a curse on this world — loving him came with a steep, unimaginable price that he never wanted his Little Wolf to pay.
Anybody who he loved, or who dared love him, always ended up dead.
As it tuned out, he'd been right about it all.
Hayley had loved him; she'd died for both Hope and Klaus.
Twice.
He loved her, and he had never told her because of the danger it would bring upon her... but she had died a cruel death at the hands of his enemies — and his very own brother — anyway.
She died, never knowing that she was loved by the person, it turned out, who loved her the most.
She died, realising that Elijah, memories in tact or not, could never put her above his own selfish ambitions.
She died, realising that Klaus had always been the one who was prepared to do anything, sacrifice anything, to keep her safe.
To bring her home.
It was too little far, far too late, and there was nothing Klaus could do to change that now.
Here he stood, a broken man desperately anguished by the pain of Hayley's loss — A malady that not even his grieving daughter could fix. Here in the cold light of day, being immortal, living forever, seemed like a dark and unending curse without Hayley by his side.
He knew he'd be left broken, yes. But he hadn't known he would feel like this — that he was even capable of feeling this many things at once. But then, now it was finally his turn to apply those same four words to his current condition — it was only fitting, after all.
More than he knew.
Even in death, Hayley Marshall and Klaus Mikaelson were soulmates. Not even the cold, dark dominion of the afterworld could rip that much away. They were always meant for each other, her letters had proved that. Hayley had believed it, too — she wouldn't have put it to paper, otherwise.
'You and I, born a thousand years apart'
Huh, even she believed in fate, it seemed.
And if she believed that they were fated to meet, to have Hope and she didn't regret a single moment, after everything… then she must have loved him.
'More than you know,' Hayley whispered from beyond the veil as she watched a father comfort his grieving daughter. All she'd ever wanted was for them to be together, but until her departure from the living world, she hadn't realised how much Klaus had wanted the same.
She never realised how much she meant to him, and she cried for the things that had been ripped away from her, and it was so, so much.
There was a flutter of a curtain, and a flickering of candles in the room. No windows were open, nor a single door.
It was her.
Even now, from the other side, she was there to make sure that Klaus and Hope were okay, checking in to see if they were safe. And it was because she loved them. Both of them.
Truth was, he doubted they'd ever be okay again. The death of Hayley Marshall — of one's mother and another's soulmate… it wasn't something you came back from.
Ever.
And suddenly, Klaus' heart broke even more, for what they'd lost and for what they could have been.
It was more than either of them knew.
A/N: Thanks again to my friend CrAZychicke for the prompt 3. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this — there's more coming soon my Klayley fam.
And as for my other fics; Face the Strange and You're A Faded Moon (Stuck on a Little Hot Mess) — Fear not, I have not abandoned them. As some of you know, I lost a great portion of the files on my computer (including everything I had written for both of those fics so far), and have been slowly recovering/rewriting things since then. You can read my tweet about it here: /Queen_Moosey/status/1006159949662048256
Until next time, stay #KlayleyStrong
Lots of love, Donna xoxo