Greetings, fellow humans!
Presenting an idea by yang-xiao-blog on tumblr. Mad props for the excellent idea!
And again, thank you, Monty. You're really an inspiration.
Ren loved to read.
But why, why, just why did this particular book exist?
It was a bestseller, Blake had said. Five out of five stars, said the reviews. It was supposed to be good for relaxing, it was this, it was that, it was...
Disturbing. Making him never want to pick up a book again. Ever. For all the time he had left to live.
And he was barely even past Chapter 2...
He set down the copy of Ninjas of Love Blake had lent him and pushed it to the corner of his desk. On second thought, he mused, it would be bad if any of my colleagues saw me with this.
With that, Ren picked up the book gingerly by two fingers, walked over to his bed, and lifted up his mattress, stuffing the accursed "literature" under it. He began to lower the mattress-
-as a the door burst open, catching him completely by surprise. He hastily dropped the mattress with a loud thump as he turned to face the newcomer.
Nora had burst into the room, her normally jovial face crumpled in a scowl. Ren opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a very angry Nora.
"Some Valentine's Day this is!" Without a second glance she stalked right past Ren and with a huff, flopped down face first on her bed.
"Nora? Is everything all right?"
"Nrr", she grunted, muffled by the pillow she had face planted into.
"What's wrong?"
"Dnn jnn ihh dnn!"
"Nora, I can barely understand you."
She popped her head up momentarily and angrily spat out a few words.
"Ren, dense Jaune is DENSE!" With that, she reburied her face in the pillow.
"Jaune? What's with him? What did he do?"
"Ihh Prrhh."
"Pyrrha?"
Nora grunted affirmatively.
"He still doesn't get the hint does he?"
Nora rolled herself over, resting her hands behind her head and looking sadly at Ren. "No, he doesn't, even the giant teddy bear with the "You're Fine, Be Mine" we helped Pyrrha get for him for the romantic lunch didn't work!"
Ren leaned over and patted her reassuringly on the shoulder. "They'll figure it out soon. Maybe for now you can try that plan for the two of them you've been talking about."
"So we're gonna break his-"
"No Nora, we agreed that you would never try Plan K."
"But-"
"Nora."
Nora pouted. "Fine then... I guess I'll save the leg breaking for Cardin...sheesh..."
"That sounds like a better idea." Ren chuckled, standing up and walking over to his own bed. He stooped over to grab a package underneath it, and made his way back to Nora. "By the way, it is Valentine's Day after all, and I... I got you this..." He handed her the package and smiled sheepishly.
"Oooooh, how'd you manage to find pink sloth wrapping paper? It's not even Christmas! But thanks Renny, you're the best!" She beamed brightly at him and poked him on the nose with a playful "boop!" and proceeded to open up the gift.
Ren smiled at her and got up, heading towards the kitchenette. "Nora, I'm gonna make some tea, I'll be back in a bit." She was completely unaware of this; as she had proceeded in happily ripping the box open to reveal the treasures inside.
She squealed with delight as she pulled out a little sloth plushie and a box of little heart-shaped Valentine's candies.
"Well hey there Mr. Sloth, and Mr. Candy Box! Who am I gonna deal with first?"
Nora picked up the box of candies and eyed it hungrily. "Looks like it's your time to be dealt with! Sorry Mr. Sloth, I'm gonna name you when I'm done with the candy!" She popped open the top of the box and picked out a little candy heart, which read "I Love You" on it.
"Mmmm..." With that, she popped the sweet into the air and caught it with her mouth. She grabbed another candy out of the box and glanced down at the little inscription on it. "I Love You," it also read. She scrutinized the candy a bit longer before it met the fate of the one before it.
The next candy also read "I Love You." Nora frowned, then upended the entire box onto her palm. She took a critical look at the sweets in her hand-
Wait a minute.
She began flipping all the candies over to read the inscriptions on them.
Every single candy read "I Love You."
Huh. That's weird.
With an intrigued look look on her face, she began to slowly slide the candies back into the box, then shrugged and popped the entire handful of sweets into her mouth.
Hmmmm... I think the candy company messed up, weren't they supposed to say other things too? And why were these ones all pink? It's not like I'm complaining or anything, pink is my favorite color after all, but that's so weird! Man, the candy company needs to step up their game, you'd think someone did this on purpose-
Nora blushed hard.
Wait a minute, was it Ren!? Did he do this for me? No no, that's silly, we're not together together and I don't know if he'd be the one to ask me and oh Dust this is so weird... But maybe... I don't know... It's just candy, right? Maybe this was a bad bunch or... or... something... It's probably just the candy company...
Her face was still flushed pink as her skirt when Ren walked back in with a steaming mug of tea.
"What's up?"
"No-n-nothing really," she stammered, slightly flustered. "I'm just really happy with the gift! With the sloth and the candy and all, I-it was just perfect!"She gave him a nervous little grin.
"I'm glad you like it though, but I do wonder, it looked like you saw something...wrong with it?"
"It was the weirdest thing, I think the candy company messed it up, well you see, there was the little bits on the candy that all read the same thing and there was the candy that was all pink... It's probably nothing but I found it weird... not the bad weird of course, I'm definitely not complaining, but Ren, don't you find it weird too?"
"Hmm... It is a little odd," Ren murmured. "But Nora? Can I ask you something?"
"Yes Ren?"
"About Jaune and Pyrrha..."
Huh, we talk about them all the time but he's never brought it up before...
"...do you think it's a bit odd of Jaune? Pyrrha's been sending him these little messages, clear as day, and after the longest time he still hasn't gotten the hint."
Nora looked quizzically at him. "Ren? That's the whole reason I came into the room all mad and all earlier, silly..." She picked up the empty box of candy and began to fidget absentmindedly with it. "Poor Pyrrha, it must be infuriating trying to tell someone you love them over and over while they don't get the hint..." She trailed off, and looked back up at Ren. "What do you think-"
Ren was staring at her, a little smirk plastered on his face.
"What do I think? I agree, it is quite tiring having your little messages missed all the time."
"Uhhhh... what do you mean?" Nora cocked her head at him.
"Nora, didn't you find a little weird that all the candies looked exactly the same?"
"I-uh-yeah... I-it was weird..."
"It couldn't have been random," said Ren, the grin on his face widening.
Nora's cheeks flushed with color. "You did that? Ren-"
"And did you find it weird that all your pancakes always turned out heart-shaped?"
"I thought that was from when I dented your frying pan?"
Ren chuckled. "You did dent it during Plan E. But that's not the one I use to make pancakes."
Nora's jaw dropped. "R-Ren?" She managed to stammer. "A-are you-"
"And Nora?"
"Y-Yes Ren?"
"There was one more thing that would be hard to miss."
"Ren? What is it?"
He leaned in close, and kissed Nora gently on her forehead.
"Happy Valentine's Day."
Ren smiled softly at her. "For the longest time I've tried a lot of little things to try to tell you how I've felt about y-OOF!"
His extremely energetic partner had thrown herself at him, wrapping him in a big hug and knocking him clear off his chair, across the room, and onto his bed.
Nora squealed with delight. "Yes Yes YES! Renny, you're the best! So this means we're 'together together' now? With all the stuff you've done and I never even noticed and all, man, and I thought Jaune was the completely dense one, I can't believe I never saw this coming and now I'm just so excited that you-"
"Nora?" A strangled voice came from beneath her.
"Yes Renny?"
"I...can't...breathe..."
"Oops! Sorry!" She let him go from the hug and scooted over on the bed, bouncing up and down gaily next to him as he wheezed for breath. But despite his predicament, Ren still managed a smile.
"Yes, Nora. We're 'together together' now."
And with that, he leaned towards her again for a kiss, to which Nora happily obliged by tackling him again and planting one full on his lips.
They broke apart after a while, beaming brightly at each other.
Nora was the first to break the silence. "Hey Renny?" The smile faded off her face, replaced by one of confusion.
"Yes Nora? What's wrong?"
"What's that?" Her gaze had drifted from Ren's face to something on the floor by the bed.
Ren bent over to follow Nora's gaze.
What's she...oh no. No no no no no no.
In tackling him across the room into his bed, Nora had dislodged the mattress, allowing a certain hidden book to fall through the bed frame and flop onto the ground.
Perfectly exposed and accessible.
And now Nora had picked it up, snatching it off the floor before he could so much as think about grabbing it.
"Huh. I haven't seen this book before... Wow, it's so pink! Hmmmmm... 'Ninjas of Love'..." A devilish grin spread across her face.
"Oh Reeeeeeeen. What might this be?"
Thanks again for reading! Oh... there may possibly be an alternate ending... heh...heh heh... Guess y'all's will have to wait and see.
As always, I do not own RWBY.
Rate, review, call your mother. Tell her about this. On second thought, don't.
i-Pie