Ah, another writing spree. I have too much time on my hands now that the
computer is broken. Perhaps will have fun with the 5-in-1 thingamabob that
we got yesterday.
Photocopying band music actually sounds appealing.
This fic was inspired in part by FishOutOfWater, formerly known as Misty 2, who writes incredibly dumb fics intentionally, and they amuse the heck outta me. Also partly inspired by Laura, who wrote "legolas", easily the biggest piece of crap ever posted on the internet.
This was all meant to be written as a stupid Mary Sue fic, although its obvious to tell I suck at writing crappy stories.
And for today's random fact? I'm not wearing pants right now. Oh, come on, its Friday!
*********************************************************************
Arrogrrn stodd on topp of da hill, lukking around for Orchs. He saw none.
Then Leglas ran up and said "Hey Strrdier"
"Hello my old friend" he said.
And then Gimli came along and said "How in the hell did I come here so quickly?"
"I don't know." Said Frodo. "My guess is that a Mary Sue wrote this."
"I don't think so." Sauron said. "If they can speel my name properly, the author must be legit."
"As if!" said Eru, who was taking a brisk walk in Minas Tirith. "I mean, look at the first sentence. The author made more mistakes there than Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon!"
"I agree with Eru." Said Boromir, who rose from the dead. "I mean, look! I've seen kindergartens write better than that."
"Maybe so," said a worm in the ground. "But hey! He's giving me a part. So I'm on his side!"
Well, then. After that happened, I think its obvious what happened next. Well, what did happen you ask? Well, its quite simple.
A random swoony teenage girl was teleported from her spending entirely too much time on the computer to Middle Earth via a wormhole which had spontaneously formed through space and time using the 8th dimension as a portal to bring her in front of this unusually crappy scene, which is really below the author's dignity.
"Squee!!" went the ditzy fangirl. "Aragorn! Legolas! Haldir!"
"Eh?" asked Aragorn. "Where's Haldir?"
"Over there." Said Gimli. He pointed to reveal Haldir doing a gay Elf- dance in the woods. "Hi everyone!" SAID HALDIR. "I DIDN'T SEE YOU!"
"Of course you didn't." said Gimli. "No one every pays attention to me. I'm just the stubborn Dwarf. Oh, now, wouldn't you like to be friends with me? I'm waist height, grumpy, hungry, and I'm really egotistical!"
"Shut up." Said Legolas, and kicked him down the hill. Gimli rolled and rolled and rolled, and knocked over a few random, but not too random, Orcs who happened to be walking around like bowling pins.
"Much better." Said Legolas. The fangirl swooned once again at Legolas.
"Squee!!!111!!!" she went on and on. It got pretty annoying soon.
(scene break)
We return with everyone wearing earplugs, and the fangirl having a really nasty sore throat. But her Elf-magic-ness cured her throat. Then she made Legolas even hotter than by rights he should have been. And the same with Haldir. And then she made Aragorn even more stubbly and hot and sweaty. Although the author is lowering his dignity, he takes no part in this last paragraph.
Then she turned herself into an Elf, for the main reason that she could do whatever she wanted, because it was Middle Earth. She now had more powers than gladreil and was more bootyful than Arnew.
Aragorn decided to dump Arwen for this new girl. The author quickly took up his post and ran off to fairy land.
Then Legolas thought, "Wow! She's prettier than I am!" and tried to "tomber" (mua!) her to learn her beauty secrets.
And hten Haldri saw her and thought "Oh I must have her!" "No!" said legolas in his mind. He was telepathic. "She deserves me!" "Boys!" said the girl in her mind. "If you can't decide, you can all have me!"
"Fine by me! Said Aragorn Haldir Legolas together.
Then Gandalf rode up on his horse, and decided it to give it to this mysterious girl who was pretty. Then Gandalf said "I have bad news" and the girl said "what? I can fix it" and then gandalf said "there has been a new ring forged and it is more destructive than the last one and we don't know who can fix it and I was sent to find you because elrond said that you had come and that you were able to fix it"
"I see" said the teenage girl. "as princess of mirkwood, it is my duty to destroy this one ring forever!"
"Yeah." Said Gandalf. "You do that. I'm going to get me a new horse."
*************************************************************************
Ok, that's just the first chapter. I really started to lose the whole grammar thing at the end. I'll try to make it crappier next chapter. Wow, I actually said that. Man. I'm pathetic.
Please note that I'm just trying to rip off all Mary Sues, and those stupid people who write slash and that stuff. If anyone flamed me, I'm using them to find my pants.
Oh there they are.
Photocopying band music actually sounds appealing.
This fic was inspired in part by FishOutOfWater, formerly known as Misty 2, who writes incredibly dumb fics intentionally, and they amuse the heck outta me. Also partly inspired by Laura, who wrote "legolas", easily the biggest piece of crap ever posted on the internet.
This was all meant to be written as a stupid Mary Sue fic, although its obvious to tell I suck at writing crappy stories.
And for today's random fact? I'm not wearing pants right now. Oh, come on, its Friday!
*********************************************************************
Arrogrrn stodd on topp of da hill, lukking around for Orchs. He saw none.
Then Leglas ran up and said "Hey Strrdier"
"Hello my old friend" he said.
And then Gimli came along and said "How in the hell did I come here so quickly?"
"I don't know." Said Frodo. "My guess is that a Mary Sue wrote this."
"I don't think so." Sauron said. "If they can speel my name properly, the author must be legit."
"As if!" said Eru, who was taking a brisk walk in Minas Tirith. "I mean, look at the first sentence. The author made more mistakes there than Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon!"
"I agree with Eru." Said Boromir, who rose from the dead. "I mean, look! I've seen kindergartens write better than that."
"Maybe so," said a worm in the ground. "But hey! He's giving me a part. So I'm on his side!"
Well, then. After that happened, I think its obvious what happened next. Well, what did happen you ask? Well, its quite simple.
A random swoony teenage girl was teleported from her spending entirely too much time on the computer to Middle Earth via a wormhole which had spontaneously formed through space and time using the 8th dimension as a portal to bring her in front of this unusually crappy scene, which is really below the author's dignity.
"Squee!!" went the ditzy fangirl. "Aragorn! Legolas! Haldir!"
"Eh?" asked Aragorn. "Where's Haldir?"
"Over there." Said Gimli. He pointed to reveal Haldir doing a gay Elf- dance in the woods. "Hi everyone!" SAID HALDIR. "I DIDN'T SEE YOU!"
"Of course you didn't." said Gimli. "No one every pays attention to me. I'm just the stubborn Dwarf. Oh, now, wouldn't you like to be friends with me? I'm waist height, grumpy, hungry, and I'm really egotistical!"
"Shut up." Said Legolas, and kicked him down the hill. Gimli rolled and rolled and rolled, and knocked over a few random, but not too random, Orcs who happened to be walking around like bowling pins.
"Much better." Said Legolas. The fangirl swooned once again at Legolas.
"Squee!!!111!!!" she went on and on. It got pretty annoying soon.
(scene break)
We return with everyone wearing earplugs, and the fangirl having a really nasty sore throat. But her Elf-magic-ness cured her throat. Then she made Legolas even hotter than by rights he should have been. And the same with Haldir. And then she made Aragorn even more stubbly and hot and sweaty. Although the author is lowering his dignity, he takes no part in this last paragraph.
Then she turned herself into an Elf, for the main reason that she could do whatever she wanted, because it was Middle Earth. She now had more powers than gladreil and was more bootyful than Arnew.
Aragorn decided to dump Arwen for this new girl. The author quickly took up his post and ran off to fairy land.
Then Legolas thought, "Wow! She's prettier than I am!" and tried to "tomber" (mua!) her to learn her beauty secrets.
And hten Haldri saw her and thought "Oh I must have her!" "No!" said legolas in his mind. He was telepathic. "She deserves me!" "Boys!" said the girl in her mind. "If you can't decide, you can all have me!"
"Fine by me! Said Aragorn Haldir Legolas together.
Then Gandalf rode up on his horse, and decided it to give it to this mysterious girl who was pretty. Then Gandalf said "I have bad news" and the girl said "what? I can fix it" and then gandalf said "there has been a new ring forged and it is more destructive than the last one and we don't know who can fix it and I was sent to find you because elrond said that you had come and that you were able to fix it"
"I see" said the teenage girl. "as princess of mirkwood, it is my duty to destroy this one ring forever!"
"Yeah." Said Gandalf. "You do that. I'm going to get me a new horse."
*************************************************************************
Ok, that's just the first chapter. I really started to lose the whole grammar thing at the end. I'll try to make it crappier next chapter. Wow, I actually said that. Man. I'm pathetic.
Please note that I'm just trying to rip off all Mary Sues, and those stupid people who write slash and that stuff. If anyone flamed me, I'm using them to find my pants.
Oh there they are.