Rome – In This Town
He had never had a friend like him
Vorenus was not a man made from soft things like friends. He was a soldier first, a husband and father second. Being a friend was one of the last things he ever thought he would be in his lifetime, and in any event, even if he were to be someone's friend, how could that someone possibly be Titus Pullo of all people?
One moment they were nearly ripping into each other under heavy rain, with enemy forces all around them, shouting insults even a whore would find crude, the next Vorenus was receiving Pullo's advice in how to win his cold wife back. And then they were saving each other's lives, almost drowning, walking around in a desert, and watching the rise and fall of great men.
"... and then she got up and said, Pullo, I know you are paying for my time–"
"Rather cheeky of a whore" – Vorenus pointed out, trying not to be thoroughly amused and enchanted by his friend's wild story.
"I know! But in any case, she said, You are buying my time, but it don't mean you need to use my cunt like you'd use a sheep!"
"Very cheeky"
"Very much so! I told her as much, told her I was spending my gold with her cunt, and her mouth and hands and whatever else I wanted, so she should just count her lucky stars I wasn't some brute"
"You are a brute"
"I would thank you not to spread that around, my friend"
"Even if it is the truth?"
"It is not! I am no raper!"
"But you do visit with whores"
"When I have the gold! And what of it, it is a perfectly fine way for an unmarried man to spend his time, with a nice, sweet cunt–"
"Pullo, please"
"Why, Vorenus, you are a married man, and your wife happens to be quite lovely, I'm sure you have all the cunt you need–"
"Do not speak about my wife–!"
"I am only pointing out the truth, good man. Niobe is a beautiful, gentle– Well, she is a beautiful woman, and you are a very fortunate man to have her favors"
"She is my wife, of course I– Do not speak of my wife in such a way"
"What I should give to have a wife waiting for me at home"
"Or a home"
"Or– Yes, a home would be a fine start. You don't know any unmarried women who'd have me?"
"Without a home? Whore loving?"
"And handsome, brave, a war hero–!"
"I can ask Niobe, but do not count on it"
"Eh, I will not. I have been fine without a nagging wife all my life, it will hardly make a difference now"
"Niobe is not a 'nagging wife'"
"If you say so"
"I do say so"
"Do not be cross with me, Vorenus, you know I do not mean it. She is truly a fine woman, not many would wait for years for their husband to return"
"Yes, she is"
Pullo drank his wine in big, disgusting gulps, but Vorenus had not been his friend, protected his back when needed for nothing, and barely noticed it. Once, he would have barked at him not to be such a slob, however he had come to see it as an endearing quality of his, right beside the way he tore into any food laid in front of him.
No, Titus Pullo was not the kind of friend a man like Lucius Vorenus, valiant, serious, honest and righteous, would ever have imagined he would have, and he doubted anyone who knew him well enough could quite understand what bound the two men to one another, what made Vorenus open his house to the grand old simpleton, except they could see the way they spoke, the way they relaxed, and the way the Gods seemed to have taken a liking to them, saving them even from a storm that would kill (and had killed) lesser men.
Vorenus shook his head and in a moment of rare playfulness, lightly shoved Pullo when the man started telling yet another story (again involving his misadventures with whoring). The taller man laughed in surprise and slapped Vorenus's back so hard he nearly flew.
Once, he would have begged the Gods to rid him of such a man in his life. Now, he could only silently demand they allow them their friendship for as long as possible.
Because screw it, I like Rome.