She is an unbeliever.
She goes through the motions – to please her parents, mostly. Kneel, bow head, and then... nothing. No prayer comes to her mind, and she can only stare, blankly. Sometimes, when she can handle it, she lifts her head, takes a peek. But to see such naked hope on a strangers face is unnerving – and creates a quiet ache in her chest that she doesn't quite understand – so mainly, she keeps her gaze averted, to the rough stone floor.
She remembers the last time she went to confession. The door creaked, the seat was uncomfortable and the priest was unsympathetic of her boy troubles. She remembers attempting to explain – but lapsing quickly into silence. How could she explain when she barely understood it herself?
He was gone. And she was still pining, like a dog waiting loyally for its master. Even she thought it was pathetic.
The service is over, but she barely notices. Some of the congregation discuss the strange unmoving girl in whispers, but her parents know better than to disturb her when her emerald eyes have gone so hard and cold.
She is determined to believe. Determined to regain that faith, to regain her hope.
Taking a deep breath, she tries to form the words she has known ever since she can remember; our father...
Gritting her teeth, she tries again.
Our father, who art in...
Frustrated, she bangs her fists against the smooth wood of the pue, and looks despairingly upwards. Her breath catches in her throat.
He is there.
Not in reality, of course – not in flesh and blood. But pictured, in glorious stained glass, torso bare, eyes serious and aloof; and beautiful black wings spread out behind him.
She seems to have forgotten how to breathe.
Quickly, her eyes scan the plaque beneath his feet.
The Angel Gabriel, who came unto Mary to deliver his most holy message.
She pauses, digesting the words. And then she starts to laugh. She laughs until her stomach starts to ache, until small rivulets of tears start to form beneath her eyes. It is only when the pastor gives her a strange look that she attempts to straighten herself out.
Maybe he isn't such a devil after all.