A/N: There is definitely more than one type of Mary Sue in the DW archives, but this is covering a basic one. Hope you all find it humourous.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Isabella Sweetheart Claudia Miracle Butterfly Sasha Daydream. She was absolutely gorgeous and everyone in the universe to ever have existed and will ever exist thought so too. She had ankle-length golden hair, skin so pale that it was whiter than white and blinded people in the sunlight, and blue eyes SO blue that they were like a flowing ocean of limpid tears. She wore ten-inch high heels that did not hinder her ability to run at all, a lavender mini-skirt paired with fishnet stockings, and a super-tight black t-shirt under a leather jacket that was really super sexy and just so cool. She had a secret. She was a Time Lady. GASP.

She had a time machine called a TARDIS- that's Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, silly! *insert Sue-giggle here* It was a big, pink police box that sparkled. And it was bigger on the inside. SECOND GASP.

Aboard her TARDIS, she had a pet Dalek. Oh, it wasn't one of the mean ones that screamed, "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!", but it was named Shelia and was her best friend. It was pink and a girl Dalek, though Daleks don't have genders. But details can be ignored. Isabella Sweetheart Claudia Miracle Butterfly Sasha Daydream also had a nice TARDIS-maid, a Cyberman that always wore a French maid's uniform. It served her well and was never mean at all; never said "DELETE" or tried to upgrade anyone. How thweet.

This is how Isabella Sweetheart Claudia Miracle Butterfly Sasha Daydream's story starts. I can tell you it will be riveting, mates. RIVETING.

One day, the Doctor- the Tenth Doctor, because most Sues find him the most attractive for some reason- was sitting aboard his TARDIS and angsting because his Rose was gone and so was Martha and Donna had just lost her memory. So she was gone too. SAD.

"Oh, I do hope I get a new companion soon!" he announced to himself, sobbing quietly. "I miss my friendly-friends and need someone to love and quite possibly sleep with!" He flipped a few switches, angsting all the more.

Then suddenly, as dramatic music swelled, a person materialised onto the TARDIS. Kinda randomly, actually. Weird. But this story doesn't really have much of a plot anyway.

"Oh my goodness!" cried an angelic voice. "How can this be!"

The Doctor looked up from the console, seemingly less shocked than he should be. But that doesn't matter now.

"Well, hello there. I'm the Doctor. My God, you look lonely and attractive- just like me! How'd you appear on the TARDIS, anyhow? That doesn't happen. Usually."

"I've got no idea; I was eating a sandwich when I disappeared from aboard my pretty little ship. But it was a very nice sandwich." The girl smiled at the Doctor, and he nearly melted.

"You seem familiar, Doctor." She walked over to him gracefully and touched his cheek, stroking it with the pad of her perfect thumb. He was totally fine with this. "I remember... oh!" She gasped. "My father... used to talk about you..."

"Who was your father, young-and-drop-dead-sexy-girl-I-don't-yet-know-the-name-of?" the Doctor asked, concerned.

"I am the Master's daughter, and somehow share relation with a few of your other companions or something because that usually happens."

"This is a plot twist!" the Doctor remarked.

"Isn't it? And my name is Isabella Sweetheart Claudia Miracle Butterfly Sasha Daydream, by the way, Doctor."

"Oh, that is such a lovely name! Why don't we go somewhere nice so I can impress you and win your heart over?"

"Hearts, Doctor. I'm a Time Lady. I should only be half-Time Lady, but it doesn't matter in the slightest! The writer will make me just as amazing as possible so that you'll inevitably fall for me! And of course I'll go with you!" Isabella Sweetheart Claudia Miracle Butterfly Sasha Daydream (No, you know what, let's just call her Isabella; this is taking too long to call her by her full name) giggled again- for like the fifth time- and took the Doctor's hand. The OOC overwhelmed him enormously this time and he giggled as well, leading her over to the TARDIS console controls.

"Allons-y, then?" he said, smiling, and millions of fans cried out in rage because he was using his adorable catchphrase on this little blight on canon.

"Indeed."

And about a week later, wedding plans had been made and Isabella was engaged to the Doctor. And all the Doctor's companions had been invited so the Sue could laugh at them like a jerk because she assumed that they would all be so jealous. And all canon things were ignored, including the whole Rose being stuck in the AU, etc.

"So can anyone tell me exactly what the hell is going on?" Donna sipped from a glass of red punch, frowning at the OOC-ness of her former companion dancing delicately with Isabella.

"Well, you've got me," Martha replied, lifting her hands in a symbol of defeat.

"Yeah... She's not his type at all. Honestly, she's really annoying," commented Rose. She picked a few sheets of paper off the table that had been lying there. "It says here that her whole name is Isabella Sweetheart Claudia Miracle Butterfly Sasha Daydream."

"God, that's a bit of a mouthful," said Martha.

"And that her plan is to get the Doctor in her grasp so she can..." Rose raised an eyebrow at the paper, then let loose a snicker. "Sorry, love. He's not exactly that sort of type."

"Oh, wouldn't you know, blondie?" Donna said.

"Oi!" Rose flushed, looking back down at the paper. "It says that she's involved in... some sort of story, written by a girl that wants to...ship herself with him. Okay, then what's that mean?"

"No clue at all. Where'd you find that, anyway; that paper wasn't here when we sat down," said Martha.

"Dunno, just sort of... was here as I picked it up. It says it's from an author that's named The-Doctor's-Invader-at-221B."

"That's bloody rubbish. I'm leaving. Tell me when Spaceman's stopped drinking and he's broken up with Miss Sunshine-Pants or whatever her name is." Donna rose from her chair.

"You're not gonna leave us here with her and him, are you?" protested Martha.

"Uh, yeah, I am." Donna stalked off.

"I think she's just got him drugged or something. He'll be right soon. Then she can get dropped off to wherever she was living before and she'll stop tormenting him." Rose frowned at the Doctor and Isabella.

"Actually, I think Ginger's got a point. I'll be off. I'll find Mickey somewhere; got no idea where he ran off to," said Martha, getting up from her chair.

"Coming with you!" Rose followed.

Now the way this story ends, Isabella Sweetheart Claudia Miracle Butterfly Sasha Daydream fell out of the TARDIS because she opened the doors for no apparent reason and slipped on a patch of floor. The Doctor fell out of his great state of OOC-ness and the show's plot-line continued on. Much to the relief of all Whovians everywhere.

The End