Introducing…..
The most random Pokemon 'fic EVER!
……CHEESEDOODLES!
…………………..Okay, so I was having our second annual "Anime-back-to-school sleep-over" with my friend, Vampire Scooby the brilliant fanficer who only writes about those crazy Vampires in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. We, had one last year-
VS- Hiya!
Gingey: Yes. "Hi". Now, back on TOPIC, we watched old animes we watched as children last year(though I could not convince her to watch my beloved Digimon Tamers…
VS- And she would not watch Sailor Moon
Gingey: Let's not argue. Down to the point, this is MY fanfic, but she thinks she's helping……
VS-I AM Helping!
Gingey: You know I probably won't finish this until after you go home –smug grin-, plus, everything in this 'fix so far is mostly my idea, some of it is from the mind of you, but I came up with the MistyXBrock pairing, and all the Jessie/James related jokes.
Anyway, we were watching Pokemon in Japanese with English subtitles(much to my amusement, Satoshi(Ash) kept getting a gun pointed to his head…and he was a freaking boy singer or something! Oh, he also almost drowned while holding a bomb to his chest –sigh- good times, good times……then, we watched the first two movies. Sadly they weren't in Japanese…..we had to watch the dubs. And I do hate 4Kids with a burning passion with the intensity of a thousand suns!
VS-Get over yourself and write the story!!!!:-p
Gingey: Your commentary is most annoying. Anywho, we poked fun at Pokemon a lot while doing this, and I made it my goal to make fun of James as much as possible, so this randomness is the product of my weirdness, with a little help from my annoying but wonderful friend.
Note all stuff will be based off the first Arc or two of Pokemon or the first two movies.
On to the 'fic!
Wait! We need to clarify something
-Impmon from Digimon Tamers appears because Gingey thinks he's like Meowth and wants him to talk, Meowth stands next to him-
Impmon: Gingey does not own Pokemon. AND SHE DOESN'T OWN ME EITHER, so I have no clue why I'm doing her bidding…..
Meowth: Neither does her crazy friend. They wish they did, because they'd be rich, and they'd dub it the way it was meant to be seen, or even make the freakin' subs available easily!
Impmon: And I've been bribed to say VS wants a pet Riachu….
Meowth: Don't forget Charmander.
Impmon: I don't like Charmander.
VS: DIE!
Gingey: Okay, now that's everything's settled….TO THE CRAZINESS!
"Hello. I'm &# the Pokemon narrator dude. My job is to annoy you all by making cheesy comments about the adventures of our young heroes," Said a voice that no one likes to hear…..but fear not, my friends, for I am sending an army of Arcanines to eliminate this pest!
" And so-hey, what's that? No! NOOOOO! So..much…fur..and…FIRE! OOOOW! OW! OW! It's HOT!" the voice cried. Then it went quiet.
So now, my friends, I am free to narrate without him in the way! Pokemon's getting less lame by the minute, eh? Okay, so maybe it's not always lame..but that voice is!
Aright. So. First, we're going to clear a few things up……
Remember Pokemon, the first movie? They're re-doing it, and they promise it'll be way better this time! This is a SPECIAL sneak-peek you can't see anywhere else!
And so, let us go to the cloning room….
Our heroes…wait, that's not right. Our villains...no, that's not right either. Our comic relief Team Rocket, were down there. They've decided to finally tell it like it is. You see, it had one little mistake: They cloned Meowth. Now, who should have been cloned, well, it's much more fun…..
" Guys, HELP!" screamed Meowth as the machines attempted to drag him in and grab a DNA sample. James immediately jumped to his rescue. He managed to pry Meowth away after much struggling, but the machine did get a DNA sample…
It just wasn't the one they wanted.
" DNA scanning…..confirmed."
Where the outline of a pokemon should be, appeared…
JAMES?!
" Error. This pokemon does not register," a mechanic voice said," still commencing cloning of unidentified pokemon…"
" I AM NOT A POKEMON!" James yelled at the machine angrily.
Soon, a boy appeared in the cloning…things. He was fully clothed sporting James' same Team Rocket outfit. It had the same hair as James. And the same eyes. And the same…well, you get it.
" Oh my gosh…." James said," That's…"
" You…" Jessie said, staring at him and hitting him on the head as if to make sure it was the real thing.
" No! It's his clone!" Meowth corrected Jessie.
" Why would anyone want a cloned idiot?" Jessie asked.
" If I weren't me, I would!" he said," But I already have myself. And I am not an idiot!"
" What would you want an idiot for?" Jessie asked.
" Oh, they're great for housework!" he said.
" So you admit you're an idiot!" she cried.
" No! That's not what I meant!" he told her.
" Yes it is, don't lie to me!" she growled.
" Yes m'am…." He said in a small voice.
…Doesn't that make you anxious to see what other great things they're fixing?
Now, he're the new dramatic ending to Pokemon 2000 the movie, to be aired exclusively on HBO!
Ash was riding Lugia, as it was carrying him over the rocks, suddenly, Ash slipped off. Lugia didn't notice, though. Ash hit his head and his skull was cracked wide open, but he did not stop, he bounced off and continued to fall, his dead body, that is, and landed on.
His mother!
She shrieked in ditress upon being hit, them realized she was hit with the corpse of her dead son! She wept. And wept, as his blood flowed out of his dead skull and all over his mother.
Then, Slowking came over.
" I still wish I had paaaaants…" he monotoned.
Ash's mother smiled a bitter smile, a mix of sadness and that creey cheerfulness she always seems to have. She then took off Ash's pants. Slowking raised an eyebrow, wondering what this insane woman was thinking.
" Here…" she said, offering them to him," You were so kind to my Ash…so you can have his pants! "
Slowking took them gratefully. They did not fit, for he was too fat, so like Jessie suggested for Team Rocket, he went on Weight Watchers. Finally, because he followed the diet carefully, he was skinny enough for them to fit. There wasn't much left of him by then, and they were too long, but he honored the memory of the great…
Brock.
I mean…er…..Misty.
No wait…what was his name? PIKACHU! That''s it!
Either that, or this one. We don't know which yet.
As Ash's mother talked, Ash was feeling extremely embarrassed.
" Mom! MOM!" he screamed.
" What is it dear? Don't forget you're in BIG TROUBLE MISTER!" she said.
" You're embarrassing me!" he said, red with it.
She smiled," Oh. I see." She elbowed him and winked at Misty.
Both were very red at this point.
" MOM!" he screamed.
Misty grinned. Ash nodded. Both got behind his mother and gave her a good shove. Little did they know they were pushing her off a cliff…
" Oops…I just killed my mother. MOM!" Ash screamed in agony," I didn't know there was a cliff!" he started to cry.
" I knew!" Misty declared proudly.
Professor Oak walked over.
" Kids, where's Ash's mother?" he asked.
Misty grinned evilly and pointed downward.
Professor Oak looked off the cliff, and Tracey shoved him off too.
" Why'd you do that?" Ash demanded.
" I was feeling left out…" he muttered," Of course, I still do because I don't have a girlfriend…"
" He goes too?" Misty said evilly.
Ash nodded," He goes too."
THE END!
See? Aren't they wonderfully exciting?
Now, moving on to the present…..
WAIT! First, we have breaking news!
It seems, after examining the stone where the prophecy is written, they messed up the movie! They're going to re-do it with the following change(not to be confused with the HBO version)
" And the world will turn to ash," concluded Slowking.
After a bit of debate, it was decided the world would turn to Ash Ketchum to save the world.
" But I'm not Ash! I'm Satoshi!" Ash said.
" You're only Satoshi in the Japanese version," Tracey corrected.
" But I'm not always Ash! What is it in Japanese?" he demanded.
" Who knows…" Slowking sighed. He then re-read the prophecy.
" Wait..I've made a mistake.." he said," It says the world will turn into Ash…"
" Wait?!" Misty demanded," So we really are doomed?"
Suddenly, everyone's hair turned black if it wasn't already, and wore the same clothes as Ash. They still had the same hair-style, though.
" Eeeeek! We're all Ash!" Misty said," Way to go, Ash!"
"Hey, how is it my fault?!" he asked.
" You're the one it's about!" she said," I'll never forgive you, Ash Ketchum!"
How they turned back…the world may never know….
It was a beautiful day. Snow was falling and killing pokemon…okay, not really. It was sunny. As usual. YAWN! Why is it always sunny on Pokemon?!?!?!!? WHY?!
Anyway, it was a normal day. Team Rocket were hungry and had no food.
" I'm bored!" James whined.
" So am I!" Jessie whined back.
" Meowth too!" Meowth added.
" You know your puns are lame and annoying," James muttered.
" I know!" Jessie said," Let's run a little experiment!"
James and Meowth exchanged worried looks.
" Experiment?!"
" Yes. I've always wanted to know if a human could go inside a pokeball…" Jessie said.
Meowth said," It's technically a monster ball."
" That's the Japanese version!" James jumped in.
" Shut up both of you!" Jessie commanded, grabbing a pokeball and throwing it at James," CATCH!"
James looked. He saw the red and white orb of impending doom zoom towards him as a red light appeared and he turned all red and disappeared inside it.
" That tickled.." he muttered," Now let me out of here! It's dark in here! I'm afraid of the dark! 'm claustrophobic! It's cramped!"
Jessie smiled and put James with the rest of her pokemon.
" No I don't think I will…" she muttered," Meowth, who's up for a James-free vacation at the beach?"
" I'm so there," Meowth said," Haven't been there since James got banned for wearing a bikini…"
Eventually, the did let him out…
" Thank goodness!" he whined," I hated it in there!"
Then, that pokemon collector from 2000 appeared.
" My, my, my!" he exclaimed," Lok at this new specimen for my collection! I've never seen this pokemon before…I've discovered a new pokemon!"
" Um..I'm James.." he muttered.
" James? What kind of name for a pokemon is James?" he asked.
" James from Team Rocket. I'm not a pokemon," James replied.
" Of course you are! DO NOT LIE TO ME! You can't hide what's inside!" he said.
James grabbed a thing of TNT and set it off.
" What are you doing?!" Jessie growled.
" I'm saving our skins…" he muttered, as it went off.
" Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off to safety!"
" The first time I've ever seen a pokemon do that.." the guy muttered.
Now, let's check with our real heroes…..
Ash sighed. He wasn't eating the food in front of him.
Brock looked at Ash," Why so glum? Usually you're begging for more by now…"
" Maybe you're in loooove," Brock teased.
Ash gulped.
" Who'd love Ash?" Misty said scornfully, turning up her nose.
" HEY!" Ash replied.
Misty laughed," Calm down! You know I'm just having fun with you!" she winked.
Ash sighed.
Brock went to wash out his cooking pan, and Ash looked up at Misty.
" Hey Misty…" he said, not liking the quiet, because you know Ash is very loud….
" What?" she said.
He froze. He thought he'd have something to say right now. So he babbled something out," I LOVE YOU!" he grabbed his mouth with one hand, eaving the other around frantically and falling onto the ground, then flailing around a bit before finally fainting.
Misty called out a water pokemon to wake him up.
" Uh…" he muttered," I just had I dream I told Misty how I felt…"
" Um….that wasn't a dream..and I'm Misty.." she said.
" Misty?! EEK!" he fainted again.
She repeated what she'd done before.
" I just had a dream I old Misty how I felt, then, in the dream, I Woke, and she said it was real! Then I woke up…" he said.
" Um…" Misty said," None of that was a-"
" Not again!" and he fainted.
This repeated for a long time until once when he woke up, after telling her of his previous dreams, he added," Then I had a dream I was being eaten by a Snorlax!"
Misty sighed," Ash, al but the Snorlax have been true."
Ash turned red," Oh…"
" Yeah….and uh…BROCK! Come here a second!" she said.
" What is it?" he asked, running over.
" Explain to Ash what's…going on," she told him.
" Oh…uh….Ash….me and…Misty…have…been…erm…dating…for…a month…" Brock said.
" WHAT?!" Ash demanded.
" Like he said.." Misty laughed.
Ash sighed and hit his head on a nearby tree.
He saw pikachu and sighed,
" Pikachu ,come here!" he called.
Pikachue came enthusiastically over.
" Pikachu," he said," I want you to bite my wrist until it bleeds."
" Pika?" was the reply.
" Pleeeease?!" he begged.
Ash was obviously attempting to create the pokemon version of cutting yourself….
He sighed," Will you shock me?"
Pikachu looked confused.
" Please, I'm begging you! Do something!" he whined.
Young Ash had gone emo.
He then found Togepi. He picked him up.
" Ash, what are you doing?" Misty asked.
" I'm going to put Togepi in the same state as my heart.." he muttered, about to drop it.
" What?" she said.
" BROKEN!" he cried, dropping it.
But pikachu, being….pikachu…caught the poor thing.
" Ash is scaring me…" Misty muttered.
Ash then went to die all his clothes, including his undies(I feel sorry for his poor mother) and hat black…
Meanwhile, James had a brilliant idea.
" Jessie, I have a brilliant idea!" he said.
" What is it?" she asked.
" Get in this pokeball!" he said.
" No," she replied.
He threw it at her, but she wouldn't go into it.
" What's wrong?" he yelled, " It worked on me!"
They then walked to see the boss.
" Any new pokemon for me?" he asked.
" Yes!" James said," I present…JESSIE!"
" That's not a pokemon…that's your partner.." he told James.
" No, look!" he threw a pokeball at her. It didn't work," Why won't it work?"
" Because that is your partner! Leave my office at once!" he yelled.
And so they did.
As they left, they saw Cassidy and Butch.
Butch snickered," I heard James was a new pokemon!"
Butch then threw a pokeball at James.
James immediately found himself inside.
Jessie and Meowth watched as Butch and Cassidy went to talk to the boss….
" Boss!" Butch declared," We have a new pokemon!"
Well, hurry up!" he demanded," I don't have all day, show me!"
Butch did so.
" Is this a joke?! This is no pokemon! This is that buffoon, James!" he hissed.
" It may be James, but he is a pokemon! I mean, Cassidy won't go into a pokeball!" he said, demonstrating how it bounced off her," And neither would you!" he threw it at the boss, who immediately disappeared into the pokeball.
" Oops…." Butch murmered.
" YOU BUFFOONS! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE, NOW!" he screamed from inside.
"Allright then…" Butch said, leaving with the boss still in the pokeball, followed by James.
" Oh, I have to put you back…"Butch murmered.
" What?! NO!" James whined.
Too late. Butch then chucked the pokeball far away….
Back to our heroes….
After awhile, it was time say good-bye to Brock.
Misty and Ash were alone. Sitting in the grass. Mist handed Ash a pokeball.
" here…" she said," This is a rare pokemon…..it's called 'James'"
" Thanks!" Ash said.
She then said.
" So……uh..Ash?" she asked.
" What?" he replied, now wearing bright colors again, hopeful as Brock left.
" What would you say if I said I dated Brock just to see how people would react?" she said.
" I'd be angry," he said.
" Well, be angry then!" she said.
" So you're saying I went all emo for no reason?" he demanded.
" Yup!" she said cheerfully," you know…I like you, too."
Ash turned red.
Misty smiled.
Ash close his eyes, and leaned in closer…..
And right when he was about to attempt to kiss Mitsy, fell flat on his face.
He looked up. Misty was talking to this boy.
She ran back over.
" Hey, Ash! Can he come with us? His name is Tracey and he is cute!" she exclaimed.
Ash stood up.
Brock walked over to say his last goodbye, and stood next to Misty as Ash turned his hat backwards and walked towards Tracey.
" I never understood why he did that…" Brock muttered.
" I think it's like he's switching his brain off, he always does that when he's doing something stupid…" she replied.
And they watched as Ash punched Tracey in the face.
" OUCH!" Tracey yelled," What was that for?!"
Ash said nothing. He grabbed a pokeball and said," James, I choose you!"
James came out.
" Finally!" he said," I hated it in there!"
Ash blinked," You're…from..Team…Rocket…"
" Yes, I am…" he muttered.
" James, attack with whatever attack you've got!" Ash commanded.
James went to sleep.
AN: Hope you liked it! This was a bunch of random things spawned from jokes made while watching Pokemon the fist movie(Mewtwo Strikes Back) and Pokemon 2000 the moive(The Power of One. Gee. Someone has an ego….)
Don't take any of my jokes personally! I love MistyXAsh(SatoshiXWhatever she is in Japanese), and James XD