The Lizzie Bennett Diaries – We Go, Go, Go!
It's Lizzie's bachelorette week!
"Hello, loyal viewers! This is Lizzie Bennett" – the camera turned from the giggly red head to the brunette driving – "and the lovely Charlotte Lu. Say 'hello', Charlotte"
"I'm driving, but hello, Internet!" – her smile was not as big as Lizzie's but her eyes shone with excitement.
"It's Lizzie and Charlotte on the road to Vegas!" – Lizzie paused – "Wow, I just felt like Lydia there"
"You are sisters"
"Yeah... Well, anyway! This is the first video of our trip down for my bachelorette party, yey!"
"I can't believe Lydia of all people decided to fly down instead of drive with us" – Charlotte commented.
"Right? But she has a test today and a presentation tomorrow, so she's doing the responsible thing and meeting us there, just like Jane and Gigi"
"What do you think Darcy is up to on his end?"
"Hopefully Bing and Fitz managed to wrangle him into a strip club or something"
"You have to be the only bride–to–be who wants her future husband to see other women's breasts"
"Hey, I fully plan of seeing all the male strippers down in Vegas, so why should he be denied the same? Besides, the thought of Fitz and Bing trying to drag my fiancée to a strip club?" – Lizzie shook her head as Charlotte snorted – "I asked them to get it on film, I need to see it"
"Didn't you guys talk about it?"
"We kinda did, but I think he thought I was joking" – Lizzie turned the camera onto herself and said very seriously – "I was not joking, William, go see yourself some strippers. For me, babe"
"One of a kind" – Charlotte said dryly.
"Hello, Internet. Charlotte and I just got to the hotel, as you can see" – Lizzie spun the camera around slowly – "It's not as big as in The Hangover... But who needs a something that big?"
"If your sister were here, she'd say she does" – Charlotte pointed out, sitting on the couch.
"Eh. There's plenty of room for all of us and, besides, we're not going to spend that much time here anyway" – the camera turned to Charlotte as she opened up a bottle of champagne.
"No wild, blackout drunk nights"
"Oh God, no"
"Let's drink to that. To Lizzie Bennett to be Darcy's bachelorette week!"
"To me!" – the best friends giggled as they drank the champagne.
"–so awesome!" – Lydia, entering the frame, exclaimed as she bounced around.
"This is a great place, Lizzie" – Jane said serenely, holding a delicate flute of champagne.
"William sure knows how to pick 'em" – Gigi commented before turning to the camera and waving – "Thank you, big brother!"
"Hells yeah, thanks!" – Lydia squealed – "Your fiancée is the best, Lizzie"
"Isn't he?"
"Oh God, don't go all gooey on us now" – Charlotte begged as Lizzie sighed a little – "There'll be plenty of time for that by the end of the week"
"Because I am going to be a married woman in a few days!" – Lizzie gushed – "Internet, would you have believed it when I posted that first video?"
"Not to Darcy, anyway" – Lydia responded – "And I totally thought Jane would get married first, she is the oldest, after all"
"Bing and I are taking it slow" – Jane blushed prettily and avoided looking at the camera.
"Who cares about taking it slow!" – Lydia cried out – "You gotta lock that boy down, sis. I mean, neither of your guys are my type, but they are kinda fine"
"Lydia!" – Jane and Lizzie exclaimed, though the latter giggled into her drink.
"What, they are! Back me up, Charlotte. And Gigi, I guess. You've known Bing the longest, isn't he kinda hot?"
"Oh, I think Bing is very good looking" – she grinned into the camera – "And my brother is the handsomest guy in the world" – Lydia made gagging noises as Charlotte laughed, Jane hid a smile and Lizzie loudly agreed.
"Why am I asking the guy's sister? Charlotte, you're totally neutral, what do you think?"
"I really shouldn't take sides. As the maid of honor and everything, I should say Darcy is the hottest"
"Yes!" – Lizzie said.
"But of course Bing is pretty hot too, Jane"
"God rid me of you polite people" – Lydia rolled her eyes heavenly.
"Hey, guys! You will not believe what happened tonight!"
"William!" – Gigi implored into the camera – "If you're watching this... Don't do it, close this video right now, go to the next one, this is not for you!"
"I gotta say, girl, I was super jelly! That dude was ripped!" – Lydia exclaimed – "God, what were those guns!"
"He was pretty good" – Charlotte agreed. Jane, red faced, nodded a little at her prompting.
"Now I feel like a bride–to–be!" – Lizzie swooned – "I've seen red hot strippers! And my future sister–in–law getting a lap dance!"
"It was NOT a lap dance!" – Gigi, unusually red and wide eyed, protested.
"Dude, he was grinding you and practically humping you" – Lydia retorted – "God, I thought he was gonna grab you right there and–"
"He was NOT!"
"It sure looked like he was gonna–"
"William" – Lizzie, squinting into the camera with red eyes, begged – "Don't see this one either"
"Man, I haven't gotten this wasted in forever!" – Lydia said perkily – "God, you guys are all wimps!"
"Does anyone have an aspirin?" – Jane asked quietly.
"Here" – Gigi, not looking as bad as the others, said. Charlotte came up with her hands wrapped around a large glass of water.
"I am never drinking again"
"Until Jane's bachelorette week!" – Lydia nearly screeched, and the other women cringed.
"Don't even mention it" – Lizzie shuddered and looked straight into the camera – "Boys and girls, don't forget, it may feel good while you're doing it, but the hangover is not worth it"
"Excluding the whole 'hangover' bit, that advice is good for all the things" – Lydia wiggled her eyebrows and Jane sighed some as she lied on the couch.
"Hello all! This is the one and only, Lydia Bennett! Because SOMEONE has to show the goods!"
"Don't take off your top, Lydia, please"
"Don't sorry, Jane, I'm not gonna. It's Vegas, not Mardi Gras"
"Heaven forbid" – Lizzie said with a forced Southern accent.
"Hey, I would get all the beads down there, and you know it!"
"I don't know, I think Gigi would get more" – Charlotte said with a giggle. Gigi, out of frame, gasped. Lydia narrowed her eyes and looked to the side.
"She does have a nice pair–"
"Lydia!" – Jane chided.
"What? Anyone with eyes can see it, c'mon" – Lizzie grabbed the camera forcefully.
"Don't watch this one either, Will. Bit late, but. Stop watching"
"... I can't believe you're getting married tomorrow!" – Jane cried, tears threatening to fall at any time.
"Aw, Jane!" – Lizzie embraced her sister. In the background, Lydia, Gigi and Charlotte continued drinking and eating.
"She's been engaged for months, Jane, chill out" – Lydia butted in.
"But now it feels so real!"
"She's still gonna live in San Fran, and you in New York"
"I know! It's so silly, but–!"
"Jane!" – Lizzie grabbed her sister again.
"I don't like weepy drunk Jane and Lizzie" – Charlotte commented.
"Right?" – Lydia agreed.
"It's a little odd" – Gigi added – "But I'm not sure belligerent Lizzie is better"
"Hey, at least it's funny, this is just... Annoying"
In the forefront, the elder Bennett girls continued weeping in each other's arms.
"Hi, everyone. I hope you had a much better time with these videos than we sometimes had–"
"You're just saying that 'cause you cried your ass off on camera"
"Yes, thank you, Lydia. But anyway! Today we're going back home because I need to get myself hitched!"
"Otherwise mom would freak"
"And never forgive me"
"Or let you in the house" – the sister looked at each other and put their hands over their hearts.
"Oh, but Lizzie~ How could you let that wonderful, wealthy man slip through your fingers~!" – the elder sister started, doing her mother's voice.
"'Tis not to be borne, Elizabeth Bennett! Do you wish to BE a Ms. Bennett for the rest of your life?!" – Lydia easily continued.
"She would freak, though" – Lizzie confirmed in her normal voice.
"Eh"
"But it's all good, because we're going back now... Gigi?" – the younger woman came onto screen, barely able to stop from giggling.
"William, better stop watching right about now... Because I'm going to tell Lizzie... And the Internet"
"Tell me about what?" – Gigi burst out laughing.
"So, Bing and Fitz managed to get my brother to a 'gentlemen's club'. He happened upon the one and only Mr. Collins there" – four gasps were heard.
"Mr. Collins!" – Charlotte exclaimed from somewhere out of frame.
"Fitz may have had a little too much to drink too, so he kind of went up on stage–"
"Oh boy"
"–with Bing–"
"Bing!" – Jane squawked.
"–and of course my brother tried to stop them from learning how to pole dance right there and then, but, I mean, have you seen William? The girls were already flocking to him, as was, but with him shouting things about how inappropriate and disrespectful it was to the 'good, hard working ladies' there..."
"Do I still have a fiancée or the girls swallowed him whole?" – Lizzie dryly asked as Lydia nearly rolled on the floor laughing.
"I'll bet they tried to swallow–"
The video abruptly ended with a still of Lizzie's jaw dropping, Lydia smirking and Gigi with her hand on her mouth. Jane's red locks were visible just above the frame, as was Charlotte's fingers reaching for the came.
Every time I read "Hello Internet" I hear MatPat from the Game/Film Theory channels on YouTube. If you haven't seen it, just go, it's all super fun.
Maybe a side story with the bachelor end of the week would be fun. Poor Darcy.