I do not own the Twilight Saga!
This is my first try at a fanfic!
In this story, Edward left Bella in and did not come back. After three years, Bella contracted an incurable disease. This is her letter written to Edward when she was told that she will die. This is her way of talking to Edward one last time.
Remember: Bella thinks that Edward does not love her anymore which is what he told her upon leaving.
Enjoy!
My Miracle
My Dearest Edward,
Three years, six months and fourteen days have passed since you left. Three years since the day I last saw your beautiful face, heard your velvet voice, felt your tender touch and smelled your intoxicating scent. Three agonizing years have passed and yet I still feel the same hurt and heartache I felt when you moved on and told me that you didn't love me an that fateful day in September. It has not diminished in the slightest.
And now, with only a few weeks to live, you are still the only one in my mind and heart.
Who would have expected this to happen to me? Alice, maybe, if she even saw this. You wanted me to live a long normal life as a human; but instead, here I am, twenty-one years old and only a few weeks left to live. Yes, no one could have seen this happening.
I write this last letter to you now because I am sure that this could only be the last conversation we can have – in paper. Actually, it's really just me writing my thought in paper – the thoughts I would like to say to you before I go.
This is my goodbye.
You left me. You lied to me. You caused me my agony. And yet, I couldn't blame you and hate you. Why? Because you also stayed and cared for me. You also made me happy, comfortable, safe, protected and most of all, you made me feel that somehow, you loved me; even if it wasn't enough for you to stay. I found happiness and love with you even if just for a while. I cannot hate you because I love you. I still do.
I want you to know that I don't blame you. When you told me that you didn't love me, I had no difficulty in accepting that fact. From the start, I knew I wasn't enough for you. I knew that I cannot hold you forever. Your curiosity cannot hold you forever to me. And I am sorry. I am just a human; human enough to fall for an angel that is you. My angel, I used to think.
The doctors said that I had so little time left. I would only have a few years at best if I got treatment. Either way, I wasn't going to live past twenty-five years old. But they also told me – boosting my hope, I suppose – that there are miracles; miracles to pray for.
But I welcome death, Edward. I want it. I'd rather die now than to live a long life in agony and without you. I would welcome death.
But I still prayed for a miracle. I didn't want physical healing. Instead, I asked to see you again for the last time. I prayed for a miracle, where we will meet in the meadow. I will see your beautiful face, hear you velvet voice, feel your tender touch and smell your intoxicating scent again. I will whisper to you the words that are forever etched deep in my heart: 'I love you, Edward.' And then I would die in you arms, happy, healed and complete.
But I know that miracles are rare. Chances are few. And the odds are against me. So I do not even hope for this to happen. I will just imagine it as if it was really happening and write it on paper.
I imagine that I am standing in the meadow one last time, waiting and remembering all the good times I had with you. Suddenly you are standing in front of me. I drink all of you in; tears in my eyes. I watch your face – so beautiful. Perfect skin, perfect lips, your bronze and untidy hair, your perfect nose. I save you eyes for last. Golden, molten and shining with – what I like to believe – is love, warmth and comfort. I look down – it was too much. You take my hand in your right and with the other, you caress my cheek with the most tender of touches. I lean in and inhale you sweet, incapacitating smell. You whisper my name and my legs almost gave in. I look up into your eyes and whisper so softly, knowing you'll hear: "I love you, Edward." And I am gone.
That is what a miracle in my book should be.
I still wait for you Edward. With every beat of my heart, I wait for you. And I will wait for you 'til forever. Even gone I this world, I will love you.
As I write, I remember all the times I had with you; all the memories I had of you.
The first day I saw you. Your gentle hands. The first biology class. The dinner in Port Angeles. The times we had in the meadow. Your glistening skin. Your laugh. The crooked smile. The roll of your eyes. The first time you said you loved me. The first touch of your lips to mine. The golden eyes shining with love and excitement. The first dance together. The iciness of you skin. The protection of your arms.
My lion to the lamb. My angel to the human.
As I wait for the end, I will remember you. I will remember and wait for you. And I will love you. Forever.
Goodbye my love, my heart, my life.
I love you, Edward.
Bella