One Piece:

Why?

Pairing: Sanji x Hanzatsu (O.C.)

Timeline: AU - Grand Line High School

He liked to consider himself the connoisseur of women. Why? Because he had seen them all.

Tall.

Short.

Blonde.

Red.

Light skin.

Dark skin.

Voluptuous.

…On the other end of that stick.

Nevertheless, he knew the opposite gender like the back of his hand; he knew his tendencies and preferences just like his very name (though he wasn't exactly a difficult man to impress); he was well aware of how to please any woman just as well as he knew how to get along with the rest of his pig-headed, barbaric race. There was not another man in the world who could say that he knew women as well as Sanji – as least while being as respectful as the chef from the Mugiwara Nakama – and it was almost a fact worthy of being in print.

Therefore, when he felt his heart wane and race and swoon and shake all at the sight of one woman in particular, it was strange to believe that he was at a loss for…well…anything, to be frank.

A little ways away was a brunette beauty he had never seen before, but was sent out to find and capture as order of his captain. (Actually, he was sent to merely meet her as he was the only Mugiwara yet to do so). At her side was the young black-haired maiden he knew to be Mumei; he thought of her as a sisterly figure more so than one to steal his heart, since he regarded her as a young lady - so sweet and innocent - in his large heart-shaped eye. She surely was a glorious woman, but he couldn't help but be intrigued by the mysterious, seastone-wearing, blue bandana-donning woman sitting at the cafeteria table, who he pleaded to be both unattached and interested in blond men with a skillet.

"What am I supposed to do? They're all out of the muffins you like!" Suddenly, Mumei's whine flooded his ears; he knew quite well to avoid disturbing a feminine conversation, so he thought to wait until he knew they had finished speaking before making his introduction.

"Well did you ask them when the next batch would be ready?" Ah! His heart skipped three beats! 'Her voice sounds like an angel sent from on high, to brighten the days of all in desperate need for a sign of grace and virtue!'

Apparently, Mumei had a different opinion of the so-called angel, "Why would I do that when they have chocolate muffins on the counter?"

"I don't know…maybe because I can't handle something so sweet?" Sanji gasped from his semi-exposed hiding place behind the cafeteria door. He sighed dreamily, 'How can someone so sweet be unable to withstand the wondrous joy of chocolate? Perhaps it is because her sweetness is even greater! What a woman!'

"But that's all they have!" cried Mumei, now stomping with defiance to the unfair request of her navigator, "What else do you want me to do?"

"Ask them when the next batch will be ready."

"They're making lunch right now, not breakfast muffins! I can get you cookies or something, but I can't get you your Caramel Muffin!" 'Ah ha! So the Caramel-haired angel loves caramel too? How thoughtful; leaving loving hints in her very looks!'

"Fine. I'll have the cookies then." The so-called angel sighed with her ultimatum of a snack decision. Her captain huffed, angry to be ordered around but pleased to have the issue resolved. And so, Mumei marched off back to the cafeteria line up, counting her money just to make sure she wouldn't have to return to the table before retrieving the proper sweets again.

The blond chef's heart almost stopped pumping; the Caramel Angel was alone?! It was his perfect chance to have some semi-private time with her before anyone else stole her attention. He quickly spun around on his heel and began to look himself over in his diluted reflection in the cafeteria door's window. It took him mere moments to perfect perfection, and then he strolled weightlessly into the large, boisterous room. His curvaceous lady-target was lost in a world of literacy, so she didn't notice his approach; it was just like a predator stalking his prey. The very basics of love~

Only, he was sure when an animal actually stalked its prey in the wild, it would be more subtle and not fall onto the bench beside its prey because they checked to make sure their appearance was perfect in every which way direction except for checking their shoe laces.

The Caramel-Angel was frightened by his disturbance, and revealed to be so by jumping back a ways on the bench. Sanji looked up at her wide-eyed momentarily, then immediately straightened out and handed her a rose he had been secretly storing…somewhere.

"Forgive me, Caramel Angel; you were so beautiful I simply became weak in the knees at the mere thought of being in the same room as you."

"…What?"

"I'm Sanji, the chef of the Mugiwara. Luffy told me to come down here and try to meet our new friends," his voice sharpened with an edge of a serious tone as his entire face was lost to her sight behind his curtain of long blond hair, until he whirled around to face her with his heart-shaped eyes the size of Chopper's antlers, "But you're so much more breath-taking than I could ever have imagined!"

"…Again…what?"

"Ah, Caramel Angel, my heart was frozen at the very sight of you and I wonder if my life had come to an end. But then I realized that the Caramel Angel was before me, and if she was the one to take me to the next life, then I could die without any regrets. Because if spending my final moments in this life, and the beginning moments of the next, meant I had time to spend with the Caramel Angel, then my life would be complete~! Not only would I have an angel at my side, but she is surely the most beautiful in all the heavens!"

"…No seriously, what the hell?"

"Ah, even if you were a devil coming to possess my soul, I would give you my body to do with it as—"

"O-kay!" In utter fear of the gushing fool sitting at her side, the 'Caramel Angel' reached out and put a finger to his lips, "You need to calm down here…you said Luffy sent you, did he? And that you're the crew's chef? I wish I could be ask skilled with cooking as to be called a chef, but my skills are more so like Nami's; I'm a navigator."

"…You…touched my lips!" He began to melt, and immediately the frightened woman withdrew her touch.

"What's your problem now?!"

"It's like…we both just can't resist each other!"

"…Okay, did Buggy send you down here instead? Because I swear, I'm'a kick that guy's a—"

'Oh no!' thought Sanji then, 'am I being too forward? But I just can't control myself around this woman! Still, I don't want to scare her or make the wrong impression; what can I do to show her how much I care for her? …Ah, I've got it!' Swiftly, Sanji leapt off of the table bench and knelt down at her side.

With an arm raised to defend herself, the new Nakama asked, "Okay, I don't know what you want from me, but I really just want to eat my lunch in peace so if you don't mind—"

"Caramel Angel," he began, regardless of her protest, "though I have yet to learn your real name, I must say that your eyes shine even brighter than your Seastones' natural gleam. And your skin reminds me of a glorious summer's day. You're stunning in both body and mind, for you are clearly a logical woman."

"…Thank…you?"

"Would you please now grace my ears – and heart – by telling me what your name is? What name did they bestow upon such an unearthly being?" Instantaneously, he knew he needed to calm down again as he was shot by a look of pure disgust, "Because only the fairest of beauties are given the most hypnotizing na—"

"Hanzatsu."

The world froze and shattered in milliseconds; did she just call him…troublesome?! He was only flirting to the best of his abilities, so she would fall head over heels and let him carry her bridal style into the sunset as they plan to spend eternity together! Why was this such a difficult dream to achieve?! …Okay, so it wasn't as if the dream had been achieved ever before, but why wasn't his Caramel Angel willing to tell him her name?!

"…Wh…What?" he could only manage to stutter out the word.

She crossed her arms and sighed in a somewhat understanding way, "My name is Hanzatsu."

And just as quickly as his world had been broken, it reassembled to support the rest of the chef's crazy antics, "Ah~ so original~ And the way it flows off the tongue is so graceful, like water. Oh Hanzatsu-san, I wish to carry you in my arms a—"

"Ew, don't call me that!"

He couldn't help but repeat his stutter, "…Wh…What?"

"Hanzatsu-'san' is what Mumei calls me," Hanzatsu emphasized the fact by using her thumb to point to the cafeteria line up; Sanji looked in the direction in which she pointed and saw the speed racer paying for the cookies that the 'angel' had 'ordered', "I don't like it when she says it so I won't like it when you say it either."

"A-Alright…then let me hold you, Hanzatsu-chan, and I shall protect—"

"No way!" Now, she crossed her arms while she sneered, "Now it sounds like I'm some sort of baby; I'm a pirate, not a toddler!"

"…Hanzatsu…kun?"

"That's for little boys and children!" And he could clearly see that she was too shapely to be either of those things.

But…what was he supposed to call her now?!

If he went back to the Caramel Angel, would she find it offensive that he always referred to her by a title and not address her by her real name?

If he chose to use one of the three mentioned suffixes, going against her wishes, wouldn't she come to hate him?

If he couldn't address her, HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO WIN HER HEART AS SHE HAD SO MERCILESSLY AND SIMPLISTICALLY STOLEN HIS?!

"Here you go, Hanzatsu-hime, your special cookies have arrived. Ah, hello Sanji-san!"

Mumei waved, Hanzatsu froze and Sanji only grinned.

Right at once, Hanzatsu turned to stare at Sanji, complaint and protest worn blatantly on her face. However, he would not even give her a chance to voice any of her concerns as he suddenly spun around in a heart-infested tornado; he looked as though he was attempting to embody the word 'infatuation'.

"Oh, Hanzatsu-HIME! It sounds so perfect to my ears~ Isn'tit just the most beautiful and most perfectly SUITED name you've ever heard?!"

"S-Sanji, please! Don't even—"

"It's perfect!" and then, the tornado stopped, if only to allow the self-proclaimed prince to bow before 'Her Grace' and take her hand in his, "Because only a woman of such exotic and exquisite beauty could be a princess for a prince."

"Are you creating a story for this in your heard or something?! I'm NOT a princes—"

"Never fear, Hanzatsu-hime!" Sanji declared in front of the entire cafeteria, "As you have stolen the heart of this prince, I shall protect yours from all others! I shall never allow any lecherous, perverted and foul enemies of women to even lay a finger on the one and only, HANZATSU-HIMEEEEEEEEEEE!"

And Prince Sanji made his proclamation well known to the entire cafeteria, Mumei laughed along in support of His Majesty while Hanzatsu only shook her head as she held her temples in her hands, asking one simple question to herself over and over and over again.

"Why?"

Author's Notes:

I already have a story on here that explains my username as an OC I made who happens to end up with Sanji, but with everything going on with him in the Zou/Big Mom arc, I thought I would post another story I wrote back then that explains why he uses that specific honorfic with her. Special Guest Appearence by Mumei, my crew's captain!