Middle Earth Employment Agency - Part 2

"Next!"

Dozens of semi-transparent green skeleton like creatures float over to the desk.( The clerk has been having such a strange time of it recently that she is only mildly disturbed by these apparitions.)

The one wearing a crown (how does he do that when it should fall through him?) speaks.

"The way is shut!"

"Ah if you mean the city bypass I know it was on the traffic news this morning,. Now, how may I help you gentlemen? (This last word is said rather hesitantly as the clerk is not used to dealing with spectral beings)

"We are oath-breakers!"

"Ohkay…and what sort of employment did you have in mind?"

"Release us!"

At this point the scruffy ranger who has been sitting in a corner cleaning his sword nudges the clerk and whispers in her ear.

"I wouldn't get this lot upset if I were you, or you'll be neck deep in skulls!"

"Skulls?"

"Skulls! Look perhaps if I show them my weapon again?"

"Please do Mr Elfstone if you would be so kind."

Scruffy ranger guy mutters something about holding their oaths fulfilled and the whole lot disappear.

"Now that is a handy talent Mr Elfstone, I don't suppose you would like a job here?"

"On the whole I think not, my girlfriend's father says I have to be King before I can marry her, I can't really see him being happy with a counter clerk as a son-in-law."

Ranger guy wanders out leaving the nice lady behind the counter feeling a little sad, he might have been scruffy but he was pretty dishy all the same.

"Next!"

(Rather moody looking man munching on a leg of chicken, and what looks like tomato stains down his shirt)

Good Morning Sir and what is your name?"

"Denethor, son of Ecthelion"

"And what is your present occupation?"

"Steward of Gondor!"

"Is Gondor an airline, and if it is, shouldn't it be Condor as in large eagle-like bird?

"Speak not to me of giant eagles woman! I am no wizard's pupil!"

"So you're not an airline steward then? And I certainly didn't imply you were Harry Potter! If you are going to take that tone with me you can leave right now!"

Grumpy guy goes out, muttering into what appears to be a bowling ball.

"Next!"

Strange looking creature with pale skin and large eyes.

"Sit down please Mr..?"

"Yesss Precious we are called Smeagol yess indeed Gollum Gollum!"

"I think I might be able to find you a cough sweet Mr Smeagol you sound like you have a rather sore throat."

"What's a cough sweet precious? Is it nice? Is it tasty?"

Short interval during which the cough sweet is tasted and promptly spat out.

"It tries to poison us!"

"Calm down please! I am not trying to poison you I just need to ask you a few questions."

"We loves questions! And we asks it and if it can't answer we eats it! Yes?"

"Certainly not! Now what type of employment are you looking for?"

"it must gives us the guesses"

Clerk,(sighing) "Just tell what it is you like to do Mr Smeagol."

Creature (singing, if it can be called that) "We like fish so juicy sweet!"

"I'm fond of a bit fried fish myself."

"No! No! must cook it precious it spoils it!"

"I'll put you down as a sushi chef then"

"Next!"