Futame Kinen
"Harmful Memory"



This is only my second time posting anything anywhere, so I'd really appreciate it if you'd read and review. Thanks!

Disclaimer: Umm...I don't own Fushigi Yuugi, or any of its characters and things like that.

Things enclosed in asterisks (*) are thoughts/flashbacks. Three asterisks (***) indicates a scene change.



Chapter One - Kikenshisou
"Dangerous Thoughts"


Houjun Ri...Chichiri...closed his eye, trying desperately to concentrate.

* "I'm...I'm sorry, Houjun..." he heard Kouran say again. *

* No, stop it, Chichiri. Concentrate. Calm, like a pool of water...focus your chi... * The seishi took a deep breath, steadying himself.

* "I'm...I'm sorry, Houjun...but...but I can't marry you..." *

* Stop! It's in the past! * Chichiri screamed mentally at himself. He tried again to get his breathing back into an even rhythm.

* "H...Houjun? Houjun, what are you doing?" *

* No...no...no, please, Suzaku, not again... * the monk thought, panic rising in him.

* "Houjun, stop...you're scaring me, Houjun...please, Houjun, put that knife down...can't we talk about this?"

"No. No talking. I don't want to talk."

"Houjun, please!" Hikou cried. Only a clap of thunder answered his cry, and rain began to pour down on both of them. *

"No!" Chichiri yelled. He gave up his cross-legged position, pulling his knees up to his chest.

* Houjun continued to advance, and Hikou to retreat.

"Houjun...Houjun, please stop..." Hikou pleaded, glancing nervously back over his shoulder at the swollen river behind him.

"No!" Houjun snapped, swinging the knife forward viciously. Hikou darted back, dodging the strike, almost losing his balance on the riverbank. He could no longer back up; he was too close to the churning water. *

"No..." Chichiri whimpered, tears running down his face to trickle past the edges of his mask.

* Hikou glanced back behind him, at the water, and then back to Houjun, who stood before him. The blue-haired man's face was wet with tears, and his usually warm brown eyes were filled with the warm saltwater, a strange counterbalance to the rage and vengeful spirit displayed there.

"H...Houjun..." Hikou said, unable to think of anything else to say as Houjun Ri, so long his shinyuu, raised the knife above his head for the killing blow.

"Sayonara, Hikou," Houjun snarled. Hikou, out of instinct, stepped back, and lost his footing, plummeting into the water below.

"Hikou!" Houjun cried, the knife falling to the ground as he leapt forward to grab his friend's arm. All the anger and hate in his eyes was replaced by fear for his friend, and painful regret as the realization set in as to what had occurred.

"Don't let go..." Hikou begged.

"No, I won't let go, Hikou...I won't ever let go..." Houjun promised. His grip on his friend tightened, and he attempted to pull him back onto the bank. Hikou clung to his arm, his lifeline...

Neither of them saw the branch coming, both too intent on getting Hikou to safety. It struck Houjun across the face, and he pulled back without meaning to, without thinking, his world lost to the pain that lanced through him.

"Houjun!" Hikou cried as he was swept away.

"No!" Houjun shouted, reaching out for his friend, one hand covered in blood. He almost fell into the river diving after Hikou, trying to grab his hand again, but remained on the bank, able only to watch helplessly as his friend was dragged under by the rapid current.

Houjun wept, the physical pain caused by the bough that had hit him forgotten, pushed from his mind by the emotional pain of his loss. After a long while he began staggering back to his home, one hand on his left eye. The blood from the injury was smeared over most of that side of his face, and had stained his collar where it had run down his neck. His hand and the end of one sleeve were both bloody as well, and all of him was covered in mud.

"Somebody...somebody help..." he called, trying to yell, managing only barely more than a whisper.

"Someone...anyone, please...Hi...Hikou..." he called again, a little louder, ending in a strangled sob at the thought of what had happened. He staggered into town...or, more appropriately, where town should have been...

Only more floodwaters met his gaze, his friends, his family, his home...all gone, lost to the elements... *

"No..." Chichiri sobbed, his voice hoarse, "No more, please, no more..." But his pleadings went unheard, and his memory skipped forward a few months...when the physical pain had faded, but the emotional pain still haunted him, far more intensely than the dull ache of his scar.

* "Hey! Get away from that kid, you freak!" the man snapped, shoving Houjun roughly.

"G...gomen, I wasn't..." Houjun stammered, backing away quickly.

"Shut up! I didn't ask to hear from you! Go back to wherever you came from!" the man said, crossing the distance between himself and the young blue-haired man and shoving him again, knocking him against a nearby wall.

"I...I..." Houjun began, trying to find words as he struggled to evade the man's attacks, finally turning and breaking into a run. *

"Oh, Suzaku, no!" Chichiri cried, clutching the sides of his head, desperate to block out the memories.

* "That's right, get the hell out of here!" the man shouted, picking up a rock and hurling it Houjun. It struck the young man in the shoulder, and he winced and stumbled, falling face first into the mud.

"Get up and get out, damn you!"

Houjun struggled to his feet, wincing at the physical pain in his shoulder and leg, and the emotional pain caused at the man's reaction to his disfiguration. Unable to run, he moved as fast as he could, but was further encumbered because the commotion began to gather a large, ever growing group of people, all hurling stones, insults, or both at one poor fleeing boy... *

"Please, no...no..." Chichiri moaned, rocking back and forth, hugging his knees. There was a soft knock at the door.

"Chichiri? Daijoubu?" Nuriko called. Chichiri started, looking up, jarred from his reverie.

"Chichiri?"

"Yes...yes, I'm fine..." Chichiri called back hastily, managing to keep his voice steady.

"Alright, well, it's time to eat..." Nuriko said, clearly not buying Chichiri's lie.

"O...okay, I'll be there in a minute...no da..." the monk replied, unable to catch that first tremor in his voice and adding the near compulsory 'no da' as almost an afterthought. He took a deep breath, closing his eye, removing his mask and wiping away his tears. He smoothed the enchanted fabric over his face, took one final moment to collect himself, and headed out the door, cheerful as always.

***

"Ack! Miaka, don't you have enough to eat without eating my arm?" Nuriko snapped irritably, pulling the limb in question out of Miaka's reach.

"Sorry," Miaka said, the word barely intelligible since she was speaking through a mouth full of food. Nuriko sighed.

"Tama-neko, stay away from there," Chiriko chided the cat as it began to move in Miaka's direction. Mitsukake reached over and scooped up the cat, depositing him in Chiriko's lap, not wanting him to be eaten.

Chichiri smiled, watching the cat try to escape the little boy.

"Tama," the child scolded, "Stop that!" Finally the cat gave in and curled up, giving one big yawn before slipping off into whatever kind of dreams cats who can sense higher band wavelengths have.

Tasuki gave Chichiri a lopsided grin.

"Kawaii, ne?" the bandit asked. Chichiri nodded, watching Chiriko stroke the cat. The child's dinner lay forgotten, attracting the predatory eyes of Miaka.

* * Just wait until Kouran sees this... * Houjun thought happily, racing along the path to the clearing where Kouran's parents had directed him. In his hand he held a beautiful hair ornament, crafted in the shape of a flower. *

Chichiri's grip on his chopsticks tightened, and fear filled him.

* * Should I call out to her first? No, better to surprise her when I run into the clearing, * he decided. He could see the clearing ahead, and hid behind a tree, wanting to just watch Kouran for a few moments while he caught his breath and chose the time he would go to her and the words he would use when he spoke.

Houjun peeked around the tree... *

Chichiri gripped the chopsticks until his knuckles were white.

* ...to find Kouran...in Hikou's arms... *

The chopsticks snapped from the force of Chichiri's grip.

"Chichiri? Something wrong?" Tasuki asked. Chichiri did not respond, lost in his memories.

* * What...what...? * Houjun thought, unable to finish the sentence, * No. No, no! It's not what it looks like. It's not. It...it can't be... * Without realizing it, Houjun had begun running, racing along in no particular direction. He stopped, out of breath, and sank to his knees, crying, not sure what to think, just knowing that it hurt, it hurt so much... *

Chichiri's grip tightened further on the chopsticks, the sharp ends of the splintered wood biting into his skin, beads of blood trickling down his hand to stain his sleeve.

Nuriko looked up from his conversation with Miaka, completely ignoring the Miko, who continued to ramble on.

"Chichiri, what's the matter?" the purple-haired man asked. Chichiri shook his head, blinking repeatedly, trying to clear his mind.

"Chichiri, why are...Chichiri, your hand!" Nuriko exclaimed. Chichiri looked at his hand and blinked again. Suddenly a wave of pain washed over him. Mitsukake had looked up from talking to Chiriko, hearing Nuriko's cry. Seeing the blood on Chichiri's hand, he rose from his seat and made his way over to the monk.

* "I'm...I'm sorry, Houjun...but..." *

"No!" Chichiri cried. Mitsukake took a step back, surprised.

"Chichiri, what...?" Tasuki asked, unable to think of how to finish his sentence, looking, confused, at Chichiri's face, the gaze of which managed to look distant even through the enchanted mask.

* *This is all Hikou's fault. I saw him, in the clearing... * Houjun thought as he watched Kouran run from the room. Tears made their way down his face, one falling onto his hand. He looked down at the tear, but in his vision it was red. Red like blood...Hikou's blood.

* Yes, that's it. I'll get Hikou...I'll make him pay for what he's done... * *

"Chichiri, you're scaring me. What's wrong?" Tasuki asked, putting a hand on Chichiri's shoulder.

* Later that same day, Houjun was seated, eating. Hikou walked up behind Houjun, and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"So, Houjun, how's everything?"

Houjun stiffened at the sound of Hikou's voice.

* 'How's everything?' How's everything?!?! Well he should know, after what he did! * Houjun's eyes narrowed. There was a knife on the table. His hand slid out toward it, fingers closing around the handle, tightening on the polished wood. *

There was a knife on the table. Chichiri's hand slid out towards it, fingers closing around the handle, tightening on the polished wood.

* Houjun rose from his seat and turned slowly to face Hikou, a vengeful smile creeping across his face. *

Chichiri rose from his seat and turned slowly to face Tasuki, a vengeful smile creeping across his face.

* "H...Houjun? Houjun, what are you doing?" *

"Ch...Chichiri? Chichiri, what are you doing?"

* "Houjun, stop...you're scaring me, Houjun...please, Houjun, put that knife down...can't we talk about this?" *

"Chichiri, stop...you're really scaring me, buddy, this isn't like you...why don't you just put that down, and we'll talk, okay?"

* "No. No talking. I don't want to talk." *

"No. No talking. I don't want to talk."

* Houjun, please!" Hikou cried. Only a clap of thunder answered his cry, and rain began to pour down on both of them. *

"Hey, Chichiri, calm down!" Tasuki exclaimed. As Hikou had been, he was answered by a thunderclap, and rain began to pelt down from the dark heavens.

* Houjun continued to advance, and Hikou to retreat. *

Chichiri continued to advance, and Tasuki to retreat.

* "Houjun...Houjun, please stop..." Hikou pleaded, glancing nervously back over his shoulder at the swollen river behind him. *

"Chichiri, please stop...you know I can't swim..." Tasuki pleaded, glancing over his shoulder at the pond behind him, not wanting to have to resort to violence to stop his friend.

* "No!" Houjun snapped, swinging the knife forward viciously. Hikou darted back, dodging the strike, almost losing his balance on the riverbank. He could no longer back up; he was too close to the churning water. *

"No!" Chichiri snapped, swinging the knife forward viciously, his mask slipping from his face, falling to the ground. Tasuki darted back, dodging the strike, almost losing even his catlike balance on the soft banks of the pond. He could no longer back up; the water got suddenly deeper a step or so back, promising death for the bandit just as surely as Chichiri's knife.

* Hikou glanced back behind him, at the water, and then back to Houjun, who stood before him. The blue-haired man's face was wet with tears, and his usually warm brown eyes were filled with the warm saltwater, a strange counterbalance to the rage and vengeful spirit displayed there. *

Tasuki glanced back behind him, at the water, and then back to Chichiri, who stood before him. The blue-haired man's face was wet with tears, and his single good eye was filled with the warm salt water, as well as incredible rage and desire for retribution.

* "H...Houjun..." Hikou said, unable to think of anything else to say as Houjun Ri, so long his shinyuu, raised the knife above his head for the killing blow. *

"Chichiri..." Tasuki said regretfully. The monk raised the knife above his head for the final strike, but instead of trying to dodge, Tasuki grabbed Chichiri's wrist, pushing him back, away from the water. Chichiri stumbled, and brought his other hand back to cuff Tasuki, but two years of brawling with Kouji paid off for the redhead and he caught the fist his friend threw at him, the blood from the Chichiri's earlier injury smearing on his palm.

Tasuki twisted the hand on Chichiri's wrist, trying to get the older seishi to drop the weapon. His other hand gripped tightly on Chichiri's closed fist, and he continued to force his friend back. It struck him as odd that Chichiri had called forth none of the powers granted him by Taiitsu-kun's training, but he had little time to dwell on such a detail.

"Chichiri, I don't want to have to hurt you..." Tasuki said, but Chichiri wasn't really looking at him, more through him, and didn't respond. With an angry snarl, Chichiri twisted free of Tasuki's holds and lunged forward with the knife again.

"Chichiri, snap out of it!" Tasuki cried. The bandit barely managed to dodge the strike, which caught his shirt, damp with the rain, leaving a large rip in the left side, the tip of the blade only a hair's breadth from his skin. Chichiri struck again, and this time after escaping the blow Tasuki stumbled and fell into the soft earth of the pond's shore, his unruly orange hair just shy of the water's edge.

Chichiri stopped suddenly, the knife dropping to the ground. He shook his head in disbelief, blue bangs limp with the rain.