DISCLAIMER: All that is enclosed within the realm of the Harry Potter
series belong to J.K. Rowling. Don't sue cos all you will be getting is
about 50c and an enormous headache.
AUTHOR: ihadanepiphany
SUMMARY: Snape gets the potion class to make a truth potion. It goes rather well. The results do not.
This is dedicated to my best friend Jay-Cee who gave me the inspiration for this, believe it or not Jay, and a very solid thanx to you cos, I have got to start writing funny again! Me and angst do not mix and yet my other story Metamorphasis (shameless plug) is swimming in the stuff. State exams huh?
Read and review. Flames welcome. It's a bit nippy over here.
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The Potions class looked at Snape apprehensively as he glided in. For some, unknown reason the professor was even more sadistic than usual, getting first-years to do a sixth-year level Transmogrification potion and taking 20 points off each students house when they failed miserably, for example. Even the Slytherins were nervous and Harry Ron and Hermione were glad to hear Draco stay silent for the wait.
'Now class,' Snape snarled as he slammed a heavy box on his desk. 'I am going to give you ingredients and instructions for a truth potion and even though I will make it as clear as it can be made, most of you will no doubt fail even in this absurdly easy task.' Behind Harry, Neville started shaking even more violently than usual. Snape opened the box and the various ingredients in their correct amounts flew to each student. 'To further facilitated you, you will also get these.' Snape sent a roll of parchment to each student.
Ron opened his see the list of instructions for the potion. As he looked, the first step glowed red and little arrows blinking neon yellow pointed towards it.
'O-kaaay,' he heard Harry mutter. 'I guess I do this one first then.' Ron looked at Hermione who curling her lip at the parchment, already half-way through the potion.
Ron glanced at the instructions again, then at the ingredients. He couldn't get what Snape was on about, not only were all the instructions named by with little glowing letters hovering in the air, but the instructions were so easy even Neville in a fit of panic could have understood and followed them correctly. He looked up at the thin Potions Professor who was gazing at the class with a mixture of disgust and, anticipation? Ron decided that he didn't want to know. He started making the potion.
Ten minutes later, everyone was done and all cauldrons contained a sea- green potion. At Snapes order, every student drank one ladle-full of his or her own potions.
Draco dropped his ladle back with in the cauldron with a splash.
'Well, that was a waste of time,' he grumbled to Crab and Goyle, who were swallowing the last few drops of their own ladle-full. 'Must only work on Muggles and Mud-bloods.' There was a clang as Crab dropped his ladle back into his cauldron. He turned to Draco.
'You know, I'm really getting sick of your attitude,' he snapped. Draco looked at him in shock.
'Huh?'
'Yeah,' Goyle agreed. 'The fact that not all Muggles are bad wouldn't have occurred to at all, no?'
In the background several fights broke out as people found out what other people really thought about them.
Snape appeared beside Neville who was looking at his empty ladle suspiciously.
'And what stupid mistake did you make this time Longbottom?'
'I don think I made any mistakes Snape,' Neville replied hotly. 'I may not be the brightest of students but I know how to put a simple potion together, especially one as ludicrously easy as that one.'
'Indeed,' Snape replied, smiling slightly. 'So what do you think Neville Longbottom?' Neville went pale but it seemed like he couldn't help himself.
'I think you're a cruel sadistic arrogant ignorant mean little man who couldn't find enough human decency in himself to fill an eggcup.' Snape was silent for a moment and Neville, pale and shaking, nevertheless met his gaze squarely.
'Fifteen points from Gryffindor,' Snape snapped after a while.
'Like I could care less,' Neville retorted. 'You take points by the handfuls form every House but your own and award special treatment to whoever can lick your boots fast enough!' As if inspired, Neville swung around to a gobsmacked Draco Malfoy who was staring at crab and Goyle as they rated ceaselessly at him. 'And you!' Neville started and was soon in full swing.
Harry, Rona and Hermione stared round at their classmates. Snape was getting browbeat by five different students at once, a Slytherin was yelling at everyone in sight, three people were deliberately No Talking to another three people, whereas two new couple were, uh, getting to know one another better, and of course Crab, Goyle and Neville were taking turns to yell at Draco who looked like he just wanted to disappear.
Harry turned to his two best friends.
'We good?'
'Yeah, we good.'
'Here too.'
'Yay. What's next class?'
Do ya love it? Do ya hate it? Do I care? It's not all that funny, but I'm out of practise, sorry. But sure, if you WANT to review I cant stop you. You want to review in other words.
AUTHOR: ihadanepiphany
SUMMARY: Snape gets the potion class to make a truth potion. It goes rather well. The results do not.
This is dedicated to my best friend Jay-Cee who gave me the inspiration for this, believe it or not Jay, and a very solid thanx to you cos, I have got to start writing funny again! Me and angst do not mix and yet my other story Metamorphasis (shameless plug) is swimming in the stuff. State exams huh?
Read and review. Flames welcome. It's a bit nippy over here.
=============================================================
The Potions class looked at Snape apprehensively as he glided in. For some, unknown reason the professor was even more sadistic than usual, getting first-years to do a sixth-year level Transmogrification potion and taking 20 points off each students house when they failed miserably, for example. Even the Slytherins were nervous and Harry Ron and Hermione were glad to hear Draco stay silent for the wait.
'Now class,' Snape snarled as he slammed a heavy box on his desk. 'I am going to give you ingredients and instructions for a truth potion and even though I will make it as clear as it can be made, most of you will no doubt fail even in this absurdly easy task.' Behind Harry, Neville started shaking even more violently than usual. Snape opened the box and the various ingredients in their correct amounts flew to each student. 'To further facilitated you, you will also get these.' Snape sent a roll of parchment to each student.
Ron opened his see the list of instructions for the potion. As he looked, the first step glowed red and little arrows blinking neon yellow pointed towards it.
'O-kaaay,' he heard Harry mutter. 'I guess I do this one first then.' Ron looked at Hermione who curling her lip at the parchment, already half-way through the potion.
Ron glanced at the instructions again, then at the ingredients. He couldn't get what Snape was on about, not only were all the instructions named by with little glowing letters hovering in the air, but the instructions were so easy even Neville in a fit of panic could have understood and followed them correctly. He looked up at the thin Potions Professor who was gazing at the class with a mixture of disgust and, anticipation? Ron decided that he didn't want to know. He started making the potion.
Ten minutes later, everyone was done and all cauldrons contained a sea- green potion. At Snapes order, every student drank one ladle-full of his or her own potions.
Draco dropped his ladle back with in the cauldron with a splash.
'Well, that was a waste of time,' he grumbled to Crab and Goyle, who were swallowing the last few drops of their own ladle-full. 'Must only work on Muggles and Mud-bloods.' There was a clang as Crab dropped his ladle back into his cauldron. He turned to Draco.
'You know, I'm really getting sick of your attitude,' he snapped. Draco looked at him in shock.
'Huh?'
'Yeah,' Goyle agreed. 'The fact that not all Muggles are bad wouldn't have occurred to at all, no?'
In the background several fights broke out as people found out what other people really thought about them.
Snape appeared beside Neville who was looking at his empty ladle suspiciously.
'And what stupid mistake did you make this time Longbottom?'
'I don think I made any mistakes Snape,' Neville replied hotly. 'I may not be the brightest of students but I know how to put a simple potion together, especially one as ludicrously easy as that one.'
'Indeed,' Snape replied, smiling slightly. 'So what do you think Neville Longbottom?' Neville went pale but it seemed like he couldn't help himself.
'I think you're a cruel sadistic arrogant ignorant mean little man who couldn't find enough human decency in himself to fill an eggcup.' Snape was silent for a moment and Neville, pale and shaking, nevertheless met his gaze squarely.
'Fifteen points from Gryffindor,' Snape snapped after a while.
'Like I could care less,' Neville retorted. 'You take points by the handfuls form every House but your own and award special treatment to whoever can lick your boots fast enough!' As if inspired, Neville swung around to a gobsmacked Draco Malfoy who was staring at crab and Goyle as they rated ceaselessly at him. 'And you!' Neville started and was soon in full swing.
Harry, Rona and Hermione stared round at their classmates. Snape was getting browbeat by five different students at once, a Slytherin was yelling at everyone in sight, three people were deliberately No Talking to another three people, whereas two new couple were, uh, getting to know one another better, and of course Crab, Goyle and Neville were taking turns to yell at Draco who looked like he just wanted to disappear.
Harry turned to his two best friends.
'We good?'
'Yeah, we good.'
'Here too.'
'Yay. What's next class?'
Do ya love it? Do ya hate it? Do I care? It's not all that funny, but I'm out of practise, sorry. But sure, if you WANT to review I cant stop you. You want to review in other words.