Diamond In A Rhinestone World

Disclaimer: It's So Hard To Be A Diamond In A Rhinstone World (c) Blood On The Dance Floor. Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto.

Warning: Some citrus-y stuff, swearing, some crack and pop-culture references... nothing too bad.

Do you ever get those average days, where everything is just... plain? Boring? Dull? Well, today wasn't one of those types of days for the likes of Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke sat on the public bus, reading a book that appeared large, heavy, and seemed to contain small sized font. He sat in his usual spot at the front, at his usual time when his morning class is usually done... usually. Not caring for those around him, he immediately got into reading his book. He wasn't on the bus for too long until a spiky-haired blonde with irritatingly loud headphones around his neck strutted in as if he owned the place. He was practically shaking his ass all over the place, not that Sasuke would know. Because he most certainly wasn't staring at his ass.

The blonde stood next to Sasuke, not bothering to go through all the people in the back since today, the bus was rather full. Sasuke wasn't able to concentrate on his book because of the annoyance at his side, specifically his annoyance's music. He couldn't make out much, just a high pitched, fast paced techno-sound, but not as annoying as the dying cabbage patch kids' bullshit they call dubstep. Not as annoying, but still quite high up there. To make matters worse, the blonde began to sing lowly alongside the song, "It's so hard to be a diamond in a rhinestone world..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and muttered sarcastically, "Nice song, queer. Where'd you get it from, the gay village?" Naruto stopped and scoffed at the bitter man.

"Cool story, bro. Tell it again."

"As if I haven't heard that one before, that's more run down than those 'arrow to the knee' jokes."

"You know, I used to call strangers on the bus queers, until I took an arrow to the knee." Naruto mocked moodily.

Sasuke was fed up with Naruto and was about to start something, but he noticed his nearing bus stop. No reason to start a fiasco if he could just ignore the dobe and go on his merry way, right? So the Uchiha quickly gathered his belongings and gave Naruto a rude shoulder-bump on his way out.

Naruto watched Sasuke's body slowly fade away, and he made a spur of the moment decision which is where our tale starts.

"Hey, teme, wait up!" He shouted out the window and forced the bus to stop. Sasuke looked over his shoulder and his stomach dropped. The idiot from the bus was following him. What if he was a hired assassin? But who would actually pay to kill the one and only, Sasuke Uchiha? Nobody, everybody loves him! He's smart, attractive, and... there's not a single person who could dislike him.

Except his brother. But his brother was in that born-again Christian group, Akatsuki, so it's obviously not him. Maybe it was his ex girlfriend? She took his coming out rather badly, and ended it on the spot even though he was simply bisexual and could have still continued dating her. Bah, Sakura was stupid anyways. MOTHER OF GOD, what if it's Rick Perry! Rick Perry would've definitely hired someone that would put Sasuke's defenses down, so the blonde dobe might actually be a Rick Perry agent disguised as a queer.

Since Sasuke was so almighty and rational, he looked at Naruto's running form, thought about Rick Perry, and began to run down the street, shouting to the heavens, "THESE WILL NOT BE VAGINA FINGERING FINGERS TODAY!"

"QUIT RUNNING, YOU CRAZY BASTARD!"

"NEVER!"

Naruto and Sasuke were breathing heavily, leaning against a large tree in the forest behind a local park. They'd just stopped running after some back-and-forth banter of hitmen and Naruto defending himself. They sat down on the forest floor, evening out their breaths. It was quiet and secluded, considering it was around noon and school doesn't let out yet for the younger kids who visit the park.

"What's your name, anyways?" Sasuke asked.

"It's Naruto, believe it!"

"Hn, Sasuke. Why'd you follow me, anyways? Didn't you have somewhere to go?"

"Nah, I was just gonna meet up with some friends. And I do what I want, I'm like a fuckin' honey badger!" Sasuke grinned, understanding his meme reference. The two sat in some more silence, not really sure on what to say or do. They just sat there, staring at each other, until they leaned in... and leaned in... until they connected.

Sasuke was kissing up Naruto's neck as they made their way up the stairs to Sasuke's apartment. He was tracing Naruto's jawbone lightly with his fingertips; Naruto giggled airily at the feathersoft touches until he was giggling like mad. Sasuke looked up with an arched eyebrow and an amused smirk, "What do you find so funny?"

"Hehe, nothing, I was just wondering, who's the queer now?" Naruto hinted back to their first encounter earlier this morning, but he was shut up when Sasuke opened the door behind Naruto's back and threw him on the bed, turning Naruto on. He hadn't noticed that they wore both missing various articles of clothing. Sasuke made his way towards Naruto, strutting in a way only Uchihas can strut. He lowered his hand towards Naruto's hardening appendage. Slipping his hand past his boxers, he ran his pointer finger lightly from the hilt to the head, slowly, really enjoying how Naruto squirmed underneath him in impatience. Naruto's hands made themselves useful and started to undo Sasuke's pants as the aforementioned individual continued to fondle Naruto at a steady pace with spiderlike hand motions. His once steady pace gradually quickened to a fast pump as Naruto bucked his hips into Sasuke's hand. They kept that up until Naruto reached his climax, coming with a cry of, "Sasuke!".

Sasuke looked at him apprehensively, "You're not one of those one-night-shooters... are you?"

Naruto gave him a sly look, "I can go as long as you can keep me entertained."

Sasuke licked his earlobe and traced the outside shell of his ear, "I guess I'm here for your entertainment."

The two were laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling awkwardly. No after-sex cuddling, no emotional fluff, just pure awkward.

"Um... that was fun." Naruto started.

"Yeah, you knew what you were doing."

"Thanks. Uh, you too." They were still awkward until Sasuke abruptly turned on his side to face Naruto.

"Do you want to be friends with benefits?" Sasuke offered.

Naruto mimicked Sasuke and got on his side, feigning rage, "Sasuke, so direct! I am not a whore!"

"Yes, but you like to do it."

"True, I'm in if you're in."

Sasuke smirked, "I offered for a reason."

Naruto and Sasuke were hanging out at the local Starbucks. It had been months since they started their fuck-fest and a friendship blossomed out of it. Sasuke continued his education at the local university and Naruto spent his days working odd-jobs at the local stores so he could afford the tuition. Naruto moved in a few weeks back, but the two weren't bothered. It just made it easier when they needed to have their special "meet ups". It also saved Naruto the awkward walk from his front door to his bedroom; his roommate had enjoyed teasing him about walking into the apartment with his pants unbuttoned and a different shirt on.

Naruto and Sasuke were having pleasant small talk until Gaara, Naruto's old roommate, walked in and joined the two after getting his caffeinated beverage, "So, how's life treating you guys? Any of you two admitted your feelings yet?"

Sasuke shook his head, Gaara had a direct way of talking, "No, we're just friends."

"No strings attached, we're like Abbud and Daisy!" Naruto added. Sasuke glanced at him and they had a connection.

Both smiled like over-excited fanboys, "Like on Skins!"

Gaara hid his knowing smile by taking a sip of his drink. All will come in due time.

"Gaara, I'm freaking out. Freaking out. What if he doesn't like me back? I'm a horrible person, I broke the No-Strings-Attached agreement! I'm like Abbud!"

"Get a hold of yourself, Uzumaki. I've foreseen this, it's been almost a whole year since you two met. It was bound to happen. Now go to your lover and ask him out."

"But-"

"No buts. If you don't do it, I'll go and ask him for you."

"NO! I mean-... I got this. Thanks, Gaara. I'll call you back if anything happens."

Sasuke liked to think of himself as a calm, cool, and collected individual. He liked to think that he had the world at his mercy. He had reconciled with his brother, had a hot blonde boyfriend, good friends, and was finishing up his last year at his university. Nothing would be able to turn him into a puddle of nerves, right?

Except the thought of proposing to said boyfriend. That was certainly nerve-wracking. Naruto was at work, so Gaara and Sasuke were hanging out in the latter's room to make sure everything went according to plan. Gaara layed lazily across the long windowsill, a cigarette hanging out of his lips. Sasuke, however, was pacing his room.

"You're going to end up having a stroke if you keep this up. Just calm down. You love him, he loves you. And that's all that matters."

It finally clicked in Sasuke's brain, "You're right. I have a proposal to propose, I can't stand here dilly-dallying!"

He ran out of his room and rushed to Naruto, but not before quickly grabbing the box that contained the engagement ring.

Gaara took a long drag and lolled his head back, "I should be a fuckin' couples counselor."

For once in Naruto's life, he was the calm one. Despite the situation, he was very calm. Sure, he was walking down an aisle in less than 5 minutes, but that's all good.

All that mattered was that he would be able to spend the rest of his life with the man he loved.

Gaara popped his red head in and sent him a rare smile, "It's time."

I looked up from my keyboard and finished writing my assignment for my creative writing class, "I finished it! All I have to do is turn this in, and I'll be done with all of this university stuff!"

I felt two arms wrap around me from behind, "I'm proud of you, you dobe."

"Shut up and kiss me, teme."

My name is Naruto Uzumaki-Uchiha. I was a broke kid with big dreams to become an author. I met a gorgeous man on a bus, our first conversation was about how he disliked my music. We started off as friends with benefits, but escalated into something more solid. If it weren't for my best friend's annoying, but well intentioned urges, I wouldn't be here right now. I married the love of my life on October 28th, 2009, and I don't plan on ever letting him go.

Author's Note

Damn, I haven't been on FF in a while, at least, logged into my account! Anywho, this is a birthday present for the one and only, my best friend, Naruko. I hope you enjoy, sorry for being such a lazy-bum and doing this in a few days. But that's me for ya. Teehee, liked all of the references put in here? I certainly had fun writing this~

PS: DAT ASS. XD