A/N: The idea for this story came in a really unorthodox way. I was just thinking of how to prompt my editor, advisor, etc., NickyR into writing something herself. Since she is the world champion of Charah-shipping, it was logical to come up with some idea about Chuck and Sarah's complicated … thing. Well, she turned it down, so I had to figure out something myself.

The action takes place at the time of Chuck versus the Truth (1x08). Beware, tons of innuendo and hot stuff in chapters 2 and 3.

CHUCK VERSUS THE QUIRK

Chapter I

Achievable Goal, Short-Term


'Damn!" Sarah had just burned another set of Wiener-sausages.

She was really annoyed now. Devon turned out to be such a pain. She and Chuck had made an extra effort to cover their bases as a couple yesterday. Here at the Wienerlicious, when her boss interrupted them. Good, that she was so well trained to act fast. She remembered it so vividly now.

She had pulled Chuck down on the floor and thrown herself over him managing to unbutton her Wiener-shirt a little. They had never been in such a close and intimate configuration before.

She sighed.

She remembered how Devon had teased Chuck and her last night. As a trained spy she could always remember entire conversations if her mind had decided that they were important for a mission. The lines were now replaying back in her head, again and again:

"Didn't realize how old-fashioned you were, Chuck." Devon had started.

"Why? Because I was ordering food for my girl? I just know what she likes." Chuck had tried to parry.

'You sure do. Thanks, sweetie.' She had tried to back him up.

To no avail.

"No, old-fashioned, how slow you guys are taking things.' Devon had continued with the assault.

'You guys are joined at the hip, but that's not where you're supposed to be joined.'

And then he had nailed them with one last line:

'It's like the east wing of our apartment took a vow of celibacy.'

Sarah exhaled deeply again. 'Damn you Devon! You and your big mouth!'

Same evening Sarah had approached Chuck and told him that it was time for them to make love. Otherwise, their cover would be clearly in shambles.

And she remembered his reaction with the coffee when she told him that.

"Hottttt coffeeee!"

She was now laying a new set of sausages down there to be tortured and eventually burned when it dawned on her.

"Oh God, what if Chuck thinks we're really gonna …?" she panicked.

Sarah looked at the clock on the wall – she had another 15 minutes until her lunch break. It was a conversation too delicate for a phone call.

Feeling really anxious about this potential embarrassment, she decided to go immediately to the Buy More and talk to Chuck. Clear things up.

She untied and threw away her apron and then rushed there.

And yes, another set of completely innocent sausages were about to die a horrible death on the bonfire.

Xxx

Sarah was now inside the Buy More, wandering around and looking for Chuck. She couldn't see him anywhere.

Instead, Lester had noticed and waved at her. He cocked his head a bit as if saying, 'Hey, princess, see how gorgeous I am?' and rushed toward her.

'Hello, Your Wienerlicious Highness? How can I be of any help?' Lester tried the most desperate look in his arsenal. He thought it was to charm her.

'Hi Lester, where is Chuck, I need him urgently!' Sarah asked with visible
agitation.

The fact that Sarah expressed interest in somebody else didn't discourage the longhaired Indian one bit, however.

'Chuck didn't come to work this morning. He got called for an install from very early on. Maybe he's into another type of install, if you know what I mean. Cougars are widely known to like early installs …" he leered at her again.

'But listen, milady,' he went on, 'there isn't anything that I can't help you with, …, maybe even better than Chuck….' His staring at her was completing the sentence.

Before Sarah could say anything, Jeff joined them.

'Hello, Your Wienerlicious Excellency.' He started and couldn't understand why Lester was rolling his eyes. It was such a catch phrase!

'If there is anything I can do for you…?' Jeff glanced at her with the most promising look he had ever been able to produce. 'Just give me the heads up.' He winked at her.' If you know what I mean,' he added dancing his brows.

'Thank you all, but I can handle it myself,' she smiled at them softly and turned away to get back to her workplace.

'And so can I,' Jeff said in desperation, looking after her, 'but it's always so much better when we can help each other.'

Sarah was smirking but thank god they could only see her back now as she was striding toward the front doors of the store.

At this very moment Chuck approached from the outside.

'Ah, Sarah,' he smiled as he saw Jeff and Lester behind her. 'Enjoyed their company?'

'Immensely,' Sarah replied snickering. 'Quality time' doesn't even begin to cover it.'

It was only then that she noticed something really troubling. In the middle of such a hot day Chuck looked really fresh – like he had just taken a shower. Hmm, and there was that scent – some new and very fine cologne he had on him now.

'Oh, god, he had really thought that we …' she panicked.

'Chuck, ... ah there is something we should really talk …' Sarah grabbed his hand and dragged him further away from the store.

'What … what is it Sarah,' Chuck asked knitting his brows.

'About our cover date tonight. The making love part, you don't think we are really …, it's just for the cover, remember?'

Oh, please …. Of course. I know.' he was smiling awkwardly. 'What do you think I was thinking anyway? You didn't really think that I was thinking about …."

'Idiot, what were you thinking, ... idiot!' he was screaming to himself at the same time.

'No, of course not, I just wanted to make sure.' It was Sarah who was blushing now as she had implied it in the first place.

'Hey,' he said, once he felt he was back in control of himself, 'you know, before the … ahhh fake thing, you know …"

'Ohh, you mean the fake sex thing" she said smiling gently but didn't have the courage to watch him in the eyes.

'Yeah, yeah, that, … he swallowed hard, 'the fake sex thing, … we still need a good cover, meaning a nice, … romantic evening, some music and maybe dancing before that, right?"

She was thinking for a couple of seconds, 'Yeah, of course, otherwise it wouldn't look convincing to anybody,' she nodded at him. 'Good thinking Chuck! Where?'

'Still at my place,' Chuck stared at her. 'Now he leaned in a bit and pointed his index finger to his head. 'Don't worry, the Intersect has taken care of everything.' He said that with a robotic voice, winking at her."Our cover is 100% secure, milady.'

Sarah laughed out loud, turned and headed back to the Wienerlicious.

'Ok, ….'. she was about to say 'Chuck', when he interrupted her.

'Aa– aa – aa,'

She stopped and turned to him."What?"

'Name'sh Carmichael, Charlsh Carmichael,' he said with the famous Scottish accent, he was practicing so much these days. 'And I'm gonna charm you to death whether it is a fake date or not.'

And at that he quickly turned and raced toward the Buy More.

'Where the hell that came from?' He screamed at himself, still in disbelief. 'How desperate are you?'

Entering the store, he grimaced even more, remembering about his obviously so unrealistic expectations.

'Idiot, what were you thinking, idiot!"

20 feet away, at the Nerd Herd desk, Jeff and Lester were arguing about something.

'How did you steal my Wienerlicious phrase, cretin.' Lester barked at him. "Did you get it from my diary, you imbecile, … hah?' Lester was hitting really high pitches now.

'Stiff it Patel, do you have copyrights on it, ah, ... where, … show me?' Jeff retorted.

'Hey guys,' Chuck was almost there with them now, 'what are you fighting about?'

'Nothing Chuck, we were just … ah, refining our tactics,' Lester started, narrowing his eyes.

'There is a very achievable goal, short-term, ahead of us,' Jeff added nodding, with his eyes glistening. 'But it's top secret, need to know.'

Chuck sighed, shaking his head. It didn't take an Intersect to figure out what the 'achievable goal, short-term' was, provided he saw them drooling around Sarah when he had turned up.

Essentially, he was in the same desperate situation as far as the "achievable goal' was concerned.

Well, she was at least his girlfriend, as fake as that was. And at least he was determined to have some quality time with her, which was still way better than his usual evenings.

At this moment Casey popped up from somewhere, gazing and trying to read what was on his mind.

He dragged Chuck away from Jeff and Lester and growled at him, 'Hey, Casanova, agent Walker's told me about your date plans and we discussed them with Beckman.'

'Really, … that's so exciting,' Chuck gritted through his teeth.

'Yeah, Beckman's orders are clear, Walker and you should keep it in your pants. As always. Your getting laid is again postponed for the unforeseeable future. Congratulations Bartowski,' a smirking Casey tapped Chuck on the shoulder.

'Yeah,' Chuck was nodding melancholically, 'I hardly remember ever hearing such exciting news about my private life before. ... Lucky me.'

Casey was still there next to him.

'So, … any questions about the mission tonight? Because you know, I have a part in it as well, virtual chaperone, remember?' Casey was whispering at his ear now, looking around. 'I'll be there at my place and listening to you two, so everything goes according to plan.'

'Sure Casey, how could it be fun without you, sitting in front of the monit…' Chuck had tried to snipe back.

Hmm, … Bartowski, Casey snickered, 'are you into this, quirky , kinky … urge for a public …. .

'No, no, no, …. Nooooo! Not that! I was just being facetious." Chuck desperately repeated.

Hmm ... you sure? … Well, leave the art of facetiousness to the master, amateur!"

"And don't forget, I'll be monitoring you tonight!'

At that a snickering Casey winked at him and went back to selling his beast masters.

'Good for you Casey,' Chuck said through his teeth, 'I so envy your social life.'

Xxx