How to make your readers interested without having to work hard by using strange techniques and weird scenarios (I know you guys needed these tips ;P)

1. Include words no one knows the meaning of, therefore making them think so hard about what they mean that they don't acknowledge the fact that it's very badly written and has no plot.

"Ever wondered what a papoose would look like if it had no ears?" Mikan asked her compatriots, sitting across from her.

"I, for one, think that a bambino would look inscrutable without any hearing organs," Kokoroyomi the extrasensory whippersnapper reciprocated. Mikan rolled her optical organs in exacerbation.

"Whatever your feedback, my presumption of the topic of which we are discussing is that it would be a rather stupendous idea at that!" she acknowledged him.

"Would you refrain from that rambunctious ultrasound before I am dragooned to inflict the most vexatious, umbrageous pain you will ever feel to your bodies?" Natsume Hyuuga vented, tumultuous at being awoken from his urbane inactivity.

"Somebody's quite aggravated by our exchanging in social intercourse," Mikan insinuated to Kokoroyomi, browsing at Natsume briefly. He respired through his nose in irascibility and turned his attention back to his book.

"Contemptible teenyboppers," he grumbled as he turned a page.

2. Having a freaky scenario of Mikan and her friends like, 90-something and speaking in old-school talk is a perfect way to try and capture an interesting prospective. After all, everyone loves it when the crew are grown up, so why not over-do it a bit? It's FANfiction, after all.

"Hotaru, old bean, it's been simply ages since I last saw you!" 93-year-old Mikan Sakura said, leaning back in her rocking chair. Hotaru clacked her false teeth.

"I can't say I'm so thrilled to see you," she replied, "You're certainly no cherub anymore."

"Don't be rude to Sakura-san," a 94-year-old, sand-grey-and-also-very-very-shiny-with-just-a-hint-of-silver-haired man said, S-L-O-W-L-Y (he was so old it was painful just to talk), "seeing as she was so kind to welcome us into her home."

"Well, she hasn't decorated it very nicely," the 93-year-old version of Hotaru Imai commented obnoxiously, "All I see here are pictures of her grandchildren. Why, there's not a hint of beige any where!"

"Well," 93-year-old Mikan said angrily, "It didn't seem to bother my hubby when I showed him how nice our house looked."

"It just looks to me like a house for run-down teenyboppers selling off drugs," 93-year-old Hotaru sniffed.

"How is our old chum Natsume, anyway?" 94-year-old Luca enquired. 93-year-old Mikan rolled her eyes.

"He's out spooking people again. Honestly, he's so lucky to have been tragically killed, it's never worked out better for him!"

At this point, most readers would be thinking, "Hold on a sec. Natsume's dead? What kind of a fanfic is this?!" and then would click off to read more yaoi Twilight fanfics. However, there is a perfectly good explanation as to why Natsume is dead.

"You suckers are waaaaay too nimble!" jeered a fresh-sounding voice. 94-year-old Natsume Hyuuga's ghostly essence sat down next to Mikan.

"Natsume, dear, where have you been?" 93-year-old Mikan asked, wrinkling up her already-wrinkly brow.

"I was busy making a three-year-old cry," cackled 94-year-old-ghost Natsume. "And, if I must say, it went pleasantly according to plan. He was snivelling like a little idiot!"

"You have no mercy," 93-year-old Hotaru said rudely, "Why, if you ever did such a thing to our fifteen grandchildren Bruce, Bubblegum, Fletcher, Randy, Jackolope, Petunia, Margret, Mason, Basketball, Neville, Fluffpops, Andrew, Scissors and Sam, I would be furious!"

"That's only fourteen," 94-year-old-ghost Natsume pointed out, rubbing his ghostly fingers together.

"I am amazed that you bothered to count," 94-year-old Luca said, rolling his old dried-up eyes.

"What's the name of the fifteenth child?" 93-year-old Mikan asked, clicking her fingernails together restlessly.

"Hmm… I don't know. I think it began with a w…"

"You silly goose," laughed 94-year-old Luca, "You know that you have dyslexia, it's an M. M for Mop."

"MOP?! It's Moppet!!" cried 93-year-old Hotaru, coughing up phlegm (she often did this if she over-exerted herself).

"Oh, so it is," chuckled 94-year-old Luca, wiggling his silver eyebrows.

3. Having a total character SPAZM is the perfect way to show your love for a character.

"Okay, my beautiful hair is styled juuuuuuust right," Luca Nogi (who indeed looked very fascinatingly beautiful) said as he smiled at his reflection in the mirror, revealing his dazzling white teeth. But of course, he didn't mean to say it in a way that could possibly come across as annoying - I mean, with such wondrous qualities, how could he be even close to annoying?

"Hello, my friend that should be the main character instead of me," Natsume Hyuuga (who didn't nearly look as perky and good-looking as Luca did). "Are you coming down to breakfast soon?" Luca nodded, showing off his baby-smooth skin.

When he arrived down at the breakfast table, he only chose the healthiest options for his breakfast (after all, one only looks good when they fill their body with the best food possible) and complimented the cook on how healthy she looked today, which was, of course, a complete lie.

4. If you have them singing in all different languages, it shows your knowledge of world culture and how intelligent you are.

"Ano hi mita sora, Akaneiro na sora wo," trilled Mikan, out of tune, as she fastened up her laces.

"Ich bin heir, Ich bin weir, Ich bin Ich, das allein ist meine shult," sang Hotaru, perfectly in tune, as she also fastened up her laces.

"Ahora que vamos despacio, Al corro de la patata, Al pasar la barca," hummed Natsume, in a low husky voice, as he as well tied up his laces.

"Frère Jacques, frère Jacques, Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous? Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines! Din, dan, don. Din, dan, don," rambled Luca, in his smooth, accent-tinged voice, who was tying up his shoe laces as everyone else was.

5. Try writing things in a play script, people love it when you show off how good you are at script-writing.

Mikan: I am so annoyed!

Natsume: Why, Mikan?

Mikan: Jinno is at me because - Wait, did you just call me Mikan?

Hotaru: This is a spoiler, this is a spoiler. I thought we were still in the anime series.

Luca: Hotaru give me those pictures right now!

Hotaru: No.

Luca: Yes.

Hotaru: No.

Luca: Yes.

Hotaru: No.

6. Describing stuff is SOOOOOOOOO annoying. Why not just do lots and lots of dialogue?

"Hey, Mikan."

"What is it, Natsume?"

"Nothing."

"Then why did you talk to me?"

"I was bored."

"I'm even more bored."

"Nonoko, get out of here."

"You people are just no fun."

"We aren't no fun, we're just main characters."

"Main characters are supposed to be nice."

"Do you really think that we care? We ain't saints."

"Hehe, that rhymed. Lolz."

7. By saying something, others can interpret it in many different ways. Why not let people decide where the story's going themselves?

"Good morning." A Person came and stood next to Someone's desk.

"Good morning," Someone replied. A Person smiled and sat down next to Someone's desk.

"Well," A Person said, unsure of how to make conversation with Someone, "Have you had a good weekend?"

"Maybe," came Someone's reply. "How about you?"

"It depends," A Person said thoughtfully. "A lot of things have happened, but I'm not sure how to tell them to you."

I'm not sure whether I'll ever continue this, but I hope you guys will review for me! =)