For Him
Some days I know for sure what it is; everything is perfectly clear before me, even the wedding.
Other days, I wonder if I had been too naïve, jumping into this whirlwind without a second thought as to how I would get out alive.
Fear grips me that his destruction is close, so close that I choke on it, tears in my eyes. He has lost a brother, a piece of himself.
I desperately want to see him healthy and well, with a beautiful wife and children who will bring him the most immense joy, pull him out of his misery.
If I am not that wife of his, so be it. His happiness is to be taken of more urgently than my insignificant whining.
I am now convinced that I'm doing what's best for him. He deserves the whole package, just because it is him. His upbringing could have been better, with his large family and little attention, and now look what it's left him.
Disintegration.
His entire mind and soul is doing it right now, in the midst of this world of aftermath. I fear all the more that he won't make it.
All because of me.
Yet, the most selfish motive overwhelms me. I am taken by it, but I am not forced to do so.
It is all on my own willingness.
I know that I need him, more than the grass needs the sun, more than the birds need the trees, more than I need the air around me. After all, he is my oxygen.
He is my inspiration, my motivation, the reason for all my accomplishments. And whilst everyone else assumes that I have accomplished this all on my own, solely on my intelligence, they are wrong.
I do it for him, in hopes of impressing him, for my brains are all I have to offer. I am not beautiful nor witty nor gregarious, like the others; I am me, and that is what fears me the most.
My own selfish needs are pushing ahead, murmuring seductively to my will, purring that he will be just as fine with me.
With one violent jerk of the head, I banish those thoughts to a distant place.
He is the only one that matters here.
I will get him out of this alive and well, even if it destroys me in the process.
A/N: I hope you guys like it! It's unbetaed, so if there are any mistakes, please do tell. Reviews are love, and as usual, I do not own Harry Potter. (No matter what I do...)