Disclaimer: Maria Frank is my own creation and the evil voice in my head that tells me to do this. John Munch belongs to Dick Wolf and Law and Order: SVU. Damn. Through Maria's view.
Sunday mornings. That means cleaning the apartment and it doesn't matter which one I'm hanging around in, I gotta clean! Considering me and my long time partner-in-crime, John, had spent the night at my place, I figured it was the smart idea to do the bedroom first and get it out of my way. While Munch had left to take care of a few chores he wanted to do, I took my chance to some quality time with me and the vacuum cleaner. I had a habit to hum to myself to work around the sound of the loud cleaner until something caught my attention.
I behaved myself when it came to John's personal items in the side table on the side he slept on, but this interesting, plastic pill holder had my attention on full load. Turning off the cleaner and kneeling down to pull it from under the side table, I couldn't really understand what I was looking at. I could understand if he was on medication for any problem he had to keep him healthy - I want him to only be healthy - but this had me concerned.
What I had in my hands was a four pack of the diamond shaped Viagra pills. From what I could see all pills were still in their little spots, but I wonder if there was another one located somewhere in here and was it missing a pill or two? Peering at my watch and seeing he wasn't due back for a little while, I thought back through our love making last night and from all the other times before if he was any different. He didn't seem to be any different, but the problem was he was great at keeping himself under control during our personal times. If he had already taken some, had he been able to keep himself controlled?
It highly concerned me and slightly pissed me off, thinking he was taking something to boost his libido when he really didn't need anything. He's perfectly fine the way he is unless....he didn't think he was. "Oh, John. What have you gotten into now?" The door unlocking and opening told me he was home, earlier then I really expected and I shoved the pack into my back pocket. He greeted me with his smile and asked me how the cleaning was going. Considering what I had just found, I was feeling all that great to lie and say, 'It's going great! Never had a better day!'
No, I didn't want to lie to him. Instead I said we needed to talk and his smile vanished. "Everything all right?" I motioned him to sit down with a nod of my head and he instantly sat down on the couch. How well trained he was to sit on command when it came to something troubling me or when I was angry, he was like a well trained dog.
Reaching into my back pocket and extracting the four pack of pills, John instantly swallowed heavily and averted his eyes from mine. "John, what are these?" I asked him with no sign I was angry at his choice of boosting it. He continued to avoid my eyes while thinking of what he was going to say as an explanation. Kneeling down to look in his face until his dark eyes met mine, I repeated, "What are these?"
"I'm sorry, Maria." He started quietly, shaking his head slowly. "I didn't mean for you to find those." He shifted nervously in his seat like a child who just in trouble for sticking his hand in the cookie jar. I patted his knee gently and he took the pack from my hands. "It was stupid, wasn't it?"
"Considering the side affects? Yes." His dark eyes glanced at me. "I'm not angry at you, John. Just concerned and confused as to why you think you need these."
"It's something Elliot said...," He started, standing and tossing the pack onto the counter. He turned slowly and chose his words carefully, his dark eyes pleading behind his glasses. "He had said something along the line of sooner or later, you would start to notice a difference between us being intimate and our relationship would become sour and all this other shit he had said." Munch leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, seeming to be watching this information sink into my mind.
Taking in this information of what started him to consider something like that damned blue pill, I stood up from where I was and stood before him. Reaching up to remove his glasses from his face and tilting his head so he had full attention on me, I held up my index finger to emphasis my points. "First off, Elliot is a sad sack of potatoes who hasn't been laid in a while do to fear of possibly having another child and because he's spending more time with victims then his wife. We believe in protection and he doesn't. They play the lottery game when it comes to sex and we don't. See where I'm going with this?" He nodded his head, despite me holding his chin. "Secondly, you do not need these pills. They won't help your problem because you don't have one! For as long as we have been together, I have never seen nor felt any difference that would require you to take these."
"But...," Munch started and then stopped. He exhaled a long slow breath, slid into a seat and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I'm sorry," was all he could say. I knew he was serious about it - his gorgeous brown eyes told me so. "I'm so, so sorry about what I did, baby. I was just scared of what Elliot said and I freaked out."
My fingers wove through his salt and pepper hair and I carefully thought of my next question that needed to be said. "John...d-did you take any of them?" Much to my own horror, he nodded against my stomach. "How many did you take and when?"
"I only took one and it was last week," He whispered and my mind went flying back to last week. Let's see...Thursday night after our shift, right? John went to the bathroom and then came back out. Clothes came off and he had me pinned to the bed, right? Wait a minute...he was like the damned energizer bunny. I closed my eyes and hugged him closer. "I swear, it was the only time I took them and I didn't do it again."
I kneeled down and in a firm tone I asked, "How is your vision and are you seeing any strange coloration?"
"Vision's fine and no."
"Headaches more then normal?"
"No."
"Any chest pains or hypo-tension?"
"No."
"Dyspepsia?"
"No," His eyes darted up to look at me and he asked, "Are those the side affects?"
I nodded firmly. "Yes, John. I'm was worried you were showing those signs after taking it, but since you said no, I feel slightly better." I wrapped my arms around his chest and hugged him close. "Do I need to show you that you don't need anything like that?" He lifted his head and his eyes stared at me, as if seeing if I was being honest. "I mean it, John. Do I need to?"
"You mean...?" He pulled away and stared at me as his he didn't believe me.
Sighing, I took his hand and said softly, "Yes, that's what I'm talking about. But it's not just going to be for pleasure - it's going to be a lesson you need to understand and learn. Okay?" Pulling him to his feet once he nodded in understanding, I led him to the bedroom and slowly closed the bedroom door.
He didn't need that damn blue pill after all.