By: Village-Hidden-In-The-Music
It was a slow and boring morning in the Akatsuki home. Pein and Konan were on special Akatsuki business. Kisame, Kakuzu, and Zetsu were out traumatizing innocent people; leaving Deidara, Sasori, Itachi, Hidan, and Tobi to die of boredom.
Hey, danna, want to play true or dare, hmm? Deidara said attempting to save himself from a long boring death.
No, I m doing something right now. Sasori said, trying to finish up the latest puppet in his collection. Sasori needed peace and quiet he didn t want to end up with an ugly puppet, carving the wood to such perfection it took time to get it right, but sadly his comrades could care less.
Senpii, Tobi will play with you! Tobi shouted, overexcited as always.
Hell no, Tobi, why would I want to play with you! Deidara hollered, angry that locking Tobi in the closet wasn t working any more. Tobi had been hanging out with Hidan and Kakuzu lately; Kakuzu must have taught him how to pick locks, what else are Hidan and Kakuzu teaching Tobi?
Hey, bitches why don t we all just play together? Hidan shouted loud enough to wake the poor Uchiha sleeping on the couch.
I get to be on my Senpii s team! Tobi said, throwing his arms up in victory.
Tobi, there are no teams in truth or dare. Sasori simply stated his eyes never leaving his work. Hidan turned to look at Sasori, the puppet man was so quiet he had almost forgotten to include him in all the fun.
Sasori, get your ass up! You re going to play with us too. Sasori glanced up at Hidan, then at the stairs they were both ninja but Hidan is known to be one of the slowest in the Akatsuki maybe he could make a brake for it.
Until Deidara said, "Sasori, if you go up stairs, I'm coming with you!"
Sasori sighed in defeat. He couldn't get any alone time even if it cost him his life. "Fine, I'm coming." He got up and sat next to Deidara and Itachi.
********************************************************* Ten minutes later...
"Tobi, truth or dare, un?" Deidara looked at Tobi he hadn't been asked anything yet. Everybody had got to do something, Deidara got to break dance, Hidan made muffins, Sasori showed everyone that he doesn't have a bathing suit area, and Itachi showed them his baby pictures. He was so happy that his Senpii picked him, he wanted to cry.
"Truth," Tobi smiled.
"Why do you always wear that stupid mask, hmm?" Deidara sounded annoyed already.
"My mask is NOT stupid! It's good because Tobi is a good boy!" He shouted at his Senpii.
"Tobi, just answer his damn question!" Sasori said wanting to go back in his room.
"Okay, but you can't tell anyone one. When Tobi was just a Chibi Tobi, he went to get some cookies out the oven, but the oven was empty because Chibi Tobi didn't know how to make cookies, so Chibi Tobi didn't get the cookies. So instead Chibi Tobi went to his girlfriend's house and asked her for cookies. She said she would give Chibi Tobi cookies for a kiss, so Chibi Tobi said "Okay!" But when she gave Chibi Tobi a kiss he got her coodies and they ate his face. So now Tobi has to wear this mask forever and she didn't even give me a cookie." Tobi looked down feeling a little ashamed that a girl ate his face off.
Everyone was sitting staring at Tobi. None of them could believe that Tobi had ever once had a girl friend. The rest of the story made since because it was Tobi, but a girlfriend? Tobi had to be lying.
"Umm...Whatever, Tobi, pick somebody else, un."
"Hidan, truth or dare," Tobi said with a grin on his face. (Not that you could see it...)
"Dare!"
"I dare you to get me a cookie!" Tobi started to dance. He was going to finally get that cookie.
Hidan stare at Tobi in disbelief. "What the fuck Tobi? Why would I get you a cookie?"
"Because Tobi is a good boy and he deserves a cookie!" Tobi said still dancing his dance of joy.
"No, Tobi, give me a real dare, a hard one!"
"Okay, then get me 2 cookies!"
"What the fuck Tobi give me a real dare!' Tobi glared a Hidan, he wanted his cookies. He could feel the anger building up.
"Hidan! Stop being a whiney little bitch and get me the damn cookies! You remind me of that bitch Veronica. She said, "One kiss and I'll give you the cookie" But she never got me a cookie so you better get me one you over aged ugly bastered!" Tobi was shouting at Hidan with all his little heart. Tobi was pissed.
On the other end of the group...
Deidara, Sasori, and Itachi were watching the curse fest between Tobi and Hidan. None of them had ever seen Tobi curse so much. Maybe letting him hang around with Hidan and Kakuzu so much was a bad thing.
Deidara's eyes wonder from the fight to the muffin that Hidan had to make for him, he had place it on the black coffee table that was nearby to save for later. Everyone had already eaten theirs'.
Deidara did a double take his muffin was gone! Tears began to form in his eyes, he loves muffins. They were always soft and tasty; he's the one who told Sasori to dare Hidan to make them.
"Hey, Sasori, Itachi, have you guys seen my muffin, yeah," Deidara eyes had all ready scanned the room.
"Well, want kind of muffin did you have?" Itachi asked looking at something hidden in his lap.
"It's strawberry, the same one that Hidan gave me!" Deidara said thinking that maybe all Uchihas aren't so bad.
"Oh...Well, I just stole your muffin." Itachi took the muffin from out his lap and slipped it in his Akatsuki robe.
"What? No! Give it back! It's mine, un!" Itachi looked at him with a very serious face and shook his head 'no'. Deidara knew he couldn't fight Itachi because he knew Itachi could easily beat him, so he called on someone he knew could not fail him.
"Sasori-danna, tell Itachi to give my muffin back!"
Sasori rolled his eyes and turn to face Itachi. "Please give Deidara his muffin back."
"No," Itachi said blankly.
Sasori turned back to Deidara. "Itachi said 'no'." Then he turn to watch Tobi and Hidan fight some more. He had never seen Tobi go off like this. Tobi was always happy and annoying, but now he was twice a bad as Hidan.
After a good ten minutes of he turns to check on the two who decide to fight over a muffin. The two of them were playing Black Jack to see who would get the muffin.
"I win again Deidara." Itachi placed down his cards, he had a perfect twenty-one. Deidara look at his cards, he only had a eighteen.
"Not fair! I don't know how to play this game, yeah!" Deidara said, pushing all the cards on to the floor. "We have to play a game that we both know how to play, like Uno, hmm!" He pulled a pack of Uno cards out his Akatsuki coat.
"Fine, I'll beat you at that too!"
Meanwhile on the other end of the group...
Tobi and Hidan had finally stopped, fighting after Hidan got Tobi his cookies. Now they were making bets, something Kakuzu taught Tobi how to do, on who would get the muffin. Tobi had faith that his Senpii would win, but Hidan had another idea on who would get the muffin.
Ten minutes later...
"Tobi says stand on one foot!" Both Itachi and Deidara stared at the oranged masked boy.
"Tobi were not even playing that game, yeah!" Deidara told him, but Tobi just looked at the place they had put the muffin and fell into a giggle fit. Itachi and Deidara looked to their muffin. It was gone and in its place was Hidan. he had crumbs all over his clothes and mouth, with a smirk on his face that said 'Oh-yes-I-did-bitches!'.
"Any of you guys got a glass of milk? That muffin was good."
"You re lucky you can't die you bastered, yeah!" Deidara was pissed; he had just finally won a game of memory verse Itachi. That muffin was supposed to be his.
7 violent outburst from Deidara and Itachi later...
"We're home!" Konan said carrying two gigantic bags with 10 containers inside. She placed the two bags on the coffee table and took two of the containers and left the room with Pein.
Deidara ran straight to the bags. he picked up a container and inside each container was...a stack of pancakes! They were ten times better than muffins! Soon everyone had gotten and eaten their pancakes, everyone except Sasori.
"Sasori, can I eat the rest of your pancakes, un?"
"No, Itachi already asked me for them." Sasori said wondering why they bothered buying him food when he couldn't even eat. Deidara looked around the entire room Itachi was nowhere to be seen.
"Sasori-danna, where is Itachi, yeah?"
"He went in his room, why?" Sasori looked up at Deidara; he had an evil smirk on his face.
"Oh, no reason really, un." Deidara sat next to Sasori waiting for his attention to return to his unfinished puppet. Then Deidara open the container and... empty?
There was a note in the place of the pancakes, it said...
Dear Deidara,
You will never out smart me.
-Itachi P.S. I let you win that game of memory.
"Damn you, Itachi un!"