I wanted to write something, but due to a major writer's block I was unable to continue with my stories in progress, so I just started to write with no idea of what to write about. I had nothing. No beginning, middle, or end. I just, wrote. I wrote what came to mind no matter what it sounded like. And once I started to write, the story took form, and I created this… this… This.

I hope you like it.

WARNING: Character death. Darkshipping (one-sided).

PS: Secrets Underground will be updated in under 24 hours.

Enjoy!

Losers

Although the sky was dark and the wind howled as I walked down the street, dodging lampposts and garbage bins and ignoring the bundled up people that dashed by me, doubt, confusion, and anger lingered in my clouded mind. All I could think about were the words that slipped out of his mouth, unknowingly. I could still picture the moment. Cold, pink, baby soft lips that surely knew no others touch opened in surprise by his own words, and thick-lashed, purple eyes widened fractionally before disappearing to look at the ground. Foolish, he was. He couldn't control his own tongue.

"Watch it, dumbass!"

"Shut up!"

Immense hatred and anger swelled up within me, and I couldn't help but bare my teeth and let out a growl as I turned to shoot a sharp glare at the man who was also eyeing me. He continued to walk the other way, and I couldn't be more bothered than I already was. People were so irritating, bothersome, but so fun to crush. And he, he liked crushing me. He enjoyed it, and I always looked forward to the challenge, waiting to snatch the opportunity to crush him in return and revel upon seeing the look of defeat on his face, for once. With my hands stuffed deep into the pockets of my black jacket, I crumpled the slip of paper, a transfer ticket that belonged to Ryou, I think, that was hidden inside.

I could hear my sneakers slapping the ground as I took each impatient step. Winter was just around the corner. The day was freezing, the night was as twice as chilly, and it was during these times when I would spend the day just challenging him, wrapped up in ridiculous looking sweaters our hikari's would make a fuss about for us to wear, and just duel vigilantly infront of the warm machinery his midget called a heater.

Yes. He hated this cold as well.

Stop signs creaked and groaned as they swung back and forth due to the force of the wind, and it was then when I noticed that people were now scarce along this area that I entered. Vehicles of all kinds too were nowhere to be seen at this time. The road was smaller, the sidewalk having ended almost fifty metres back, and the world was just utterly quiet. Trees shook and trembled, the broken road crumbled even more under my shoes, but I didn't mind. With my destination right before me, I ignored everything else and pushed the big, iron gates open and walked into the area filled with stones of all shapes, sizes and colours that protruded from the earth. Some were fancy, made with the finest stone and the most intricate designs, while others were simple, a name the only thing that marked the person who was buried there, six feet under the ground. All the same, bouquets of flowers laid on some of the graves, a sign that someone had visited the person who was already long gone from the world. I continued to walk along the thin sidewalk between them all, the wind now billowing directly towards me, piercing my uncovered flesh.

What was the point of it all? The decorating, elaborate stones and large graves… Those that passed would never see, and I'm sure, care much about how fancy their grave was. They were dead! Gone. So why? Why erect something that held no meaning to the person who had left? Was it to show how much they cared about the deceased person? Makes some sense, but how many people truly care until that person was dead? An act of sorrow and regret for not paying attention or batting an eye while whosoever was still alive?

"Continue like that and you'll get yourself killed!"

"Why the hell do you care?"

"Dammit, Bakura, stop! I'd rather die than see you do that to yourself."

"Wanna bet, Pharaoh?"

"Don't challenge me, Thief."

"Just did."

I stopped and stared down at the no longer fresh dug earth that surrounded the white slab of rock that marked his eternal bed. The golden coloured plaque letters glittered as the lamp post shone down on it, and for some unknown reason, the same reason as to why I was standing in front of his grave at one in the morning, I couldn't stop the sinking feeling that had quickly developed in the pit of my gut.

Atem

Perhaps I found it hard to believe; that he was dead. A King, Pharaoh, five thousand year old spirit, friend, brother, role model to many, the walking being who seemed too damn perfect for my liking, was struck down by a faulty move. One mistake was what he made… but I told him. I warned him.

He never did listen to me anyways.

Closing my eyes, clenching them tightly, I could still hear the screams and cries that rung around me for hours after the news got to everyone, the memory of the sniffles and empty condolences from people who didn't know the truth, the real reason as to why he was dead, sparking the fire I failed to bury deep enough. I also recalled trying my best to steer clear of the mess, only to allow an unseen force to pull me in the day of his burial. That force, was his laughter. Laying in that white coffin dressed in a simple black suit as I stared down at him one last time, I could have sworn I felt him laughing and laughing at me behind that face of serenity. And I felt so much rage, so much anger that I couldn't control. My heart sped up, hammering my chest and weighing me down, and before the other feelings made their appearance, I remember myself supressing them as much as I could before reaching over, and slamming the lid of his coffin shut before storming away, breathing shallow and hard, hands clenched at my sides.

He thought he won.

My legs buckled, and all of a sudden I felt my knees collide with the ground. I clutched my pants tightly with my pale, freezing cold hands, and clenched my eyes shut tightly, head hidden deep into the collar of my jacket. I couldn't stop the clog that had developed within my throat, nor the water that spilled from my eyes as silent as the cemetery. My teeth were beginning to hurt from being clenched so stiffly together, and the block in my throat turned into disgusting sounds of stifled sobs. I just sat there on the ground, bowed like a slave caught and thrown before his feet in shame. But me? Regret?! Ha. I had none of those feelings within me. I just felt, empty. Hollow. It felt as if a part of myself was taken away, missing, but that was impossible. My hikari was still alive. It was Yugi who lost a part of himself. Not me. Then why? Why did I feel this way? What's wrong with me?

"What's going on, Bakura? What do they plan on doing?!"

"Get lost, Pharaoh!"

"I'm not going anywhere! I told you that before!"

"Pharaoh… GO, dammit!"

"I won't let you do this. I won't let them go through with this ridiculous deal of yours!"

"Pharaoh!"

"No! I love you too much to let you do this!"

"What?"

"I love you."

…

"The hell?! What's wrong with you?!"

"Bakura! Watch out!- Argh!"

!

Dead and gone, just like that. Was it my fault? No, it wasn't. Like a snoop he wandered to a place where he shouldn't have, and paid the price. And there, that was where he lost, and I believe… that was where I won. Then why did I feel like clawing my heart out and throwing it at the ground? Why was I kneeled over, my head pressed against the cold stone of his grave bawling my eyes out until they hurt? Again, regret wasn't the answer for the emptiness. I didn't feel remorseful for everything that happened between us before. I wasn't sorry or regretting that he had to give up his life in Egypt because of me. I wasn't sorry that I tried to kill him, for the way I treated his friends, how I insulted him, angered him. Nothing. He died. I got what I always wanted. Then, why was I here now?

"I love you."

He was so foolish. Did he even hear what left his mouth? Ra… Those three were the last ones that left his lips too. And to me, of all people. He didn't mean it. How could he say that he loved me? If people heard the truth as to how he died, and saying that none the less, his title would be dragged through the earth until there was nothing left. He'd be tarnished, that was for sure. Such a weakling on the inside, acting so stubborn, hell-bent on getting involved in something that didn't concern him, and making himself known every single time to try and stop me, to change my mind. So of course those people killed him. They stabbed right through the problem, his heart, without any mercy.

Steeling myself in hopes of recollecting myself, I sat up, and with tears still wet on my cheeks and my palms pressed against the flat stone, I stared at the grave, my white scarf sliding off my neck and slithering over the stone before getting caught in the small bush, frolicking across his tombstone with the wind.

"What's wrong with me?" I heard myself say as I stared at the rock before me, my body limp. "I shouldn't be acting like this. And frankly, I hate your freaking guts! I don't like you, so why the hell did you say that you loved me? Huh?! Why!?" I began to scream at the top of my lungs, and my hands made fists as I pounded on his grave. I don't care about his death. All I cared about was me, because right now, something was horribly wrong with myself although I would never admit it out loud. One thing I understood though. His words and his behaviour, it sickened me to the core.

It was disgusting.

As I sat there, shaking in the cold and waiting for a reply that I knew wasn't going to come, I felt a warmth suddenly enveloped my upper body. The warmth heated my chest, my uncovered neck, part of my face, and curved to cover a bit of my back like arms wrapping themselves around my form. I didn't move. My eyes were wide, blank, locked on the stone as the warm air hung around me like another hot body. I was, for the first time, frozen in disbelief. I gulped slowly, deeply as I felt the warmth touch my face, like fingers caressing my skin, and the feeling of a nose nudging the corner of my neck. Realizing what was happening, I stiffened.

"Don't touch me," I said sternly, coldly, and slowly the hands and body withdrew. It still lingered before me, and I could feel the sadness radiating from it. However, it didn't take long for the backed-off warmth of air to reach forward once more, warming my own freezing ones that were pasted against the rock still. Immediately I pulled away from it, and got up to my feet and took a step back. I looked down at his grave, taking deep breaths as I shoved my hands into my pocket.

My fallen, white scarf flew towards me, and that warm air yet again came forward. Persistent. Another, perfect description to describe his character. Mere centimeters away from my chest, the scarf was wrapped loosely around my neck. It loitered around for a few seconds, and a head leaned against my body. My eyes dried, my breathing returned to its regular state, and my soul felt at peace once more. The ache and the pain I felt for no reason disappeared, and as soon as they did, without saying anything else the warmth stepped away and disappeared.

It was cold again.

My eyes went up to the sky, and all I could feel was all the warmth that I knew running away from me. Hearing my heart thump through my chest, I just stared down at his grave. He came, and only left more questions. He said, in pieces, "Thank you. Don't worry about me. Take care of yourself." And… and I thought he would say it again, those repulsive three words, but instead, he said to me, "You won."

"Stupid," I muttered to myself, and I shook my head as I felt my eyes tearing up once more. I quickly blinked them away though and took another deep breath, turning my gaze back up to the sky. "Of course you lost!" I shouted, knowing perfectly well that he could hear me. "You thought because you loved me, you could change me!?" A crazy, insane smile and laugh broke out on my face and escaped my mouth. "You idiot!" I screamed, and angrily I kicked his stone. "Pharaoh! You were so deluded! You blew your own challenge and look what happened to you! You're dead! And saying what? That you love me! How stupid."

I laughed. I laughed so hard until tears sprang to my eyes again and fell down my face until my heart began to weigh heavily in my chest. And just like that, my smile turned into a watery, broken frown where my lips trembled, icy and blue.

"Pharaoh. I don't love you. I don't, so why did you love me?" I heard myself whispering. "Why were you so foolish?" I looked back up at the dark sky. "Whatever. I don't give a shit anymore. I get it. You lost. But guess what. I lost too, didn't I? I always lost!"

As the silence echoed around me, with an angry huff I tightened the scarf around my neck before it could fly away again, and turned around, the rocks under my feet grinding on the thin patch of sidewalk as I began to walk away. There was nothing more that could be done, or said about my situation and what he had done. Ra only knew how long I was going to stay like this for. If it went on any longer, I might actually consider killing myself. However, as I walked, I felt it leave my body. The emptiness, the hollow feeling… it left. And as it went away, my mind became clear and the answer laid before me. It was there in my grasps all this time, but now I know. My victory, was in fact, false.

Of course. I guess, the problem laid with this stupid challenge. Because of the Pharaoh and his surprising love for me, one that I refuse to understand, he unintentionally weakened himself, making him easy to defeat. The challenge I had put forth wasn't a challenge to begin with if he had a thing for me. I realised now, that there was no fight from him, and that fight, was what I wanted, and what I will miss, and the reason part of me was missing. He took the fight. Stupid. So stupid of him.

Overall, I was fed poison which had the face of success.

"This time was no different then," I continued, speaking quietly to myself as I walked past the gates of the cemetery. "I lost. But, if you say you lost as well… then that would mean that we both lost." I chuckled, and as the city neared, I looked up at the sky, this time, enjoying the cold.

"We're both the losers."

So… What did you all think? Did it make sense? I hope it wasn't too confusing… finding the main point. Ah, please tell me in a review. I would love to read some feedback. I tried my best writing this one, though it's really confusing my own mind. I hope it's just me.

Thank you for reading.

Bye~