My college freshmanwriting teacher, Nathan, is always telling us to write. He says its one of the best ways to express ourselves. We can tell our stories, our sorrows, and our joys. It is a release. It can make sense of our problems and remind us of good memories. We can keep what we write a secret or share it with someone. Writing sets us free. So this is what I am doing.

None of us know how our story will end. We wake up every morning until one day we don't. We don't know what will happen throughout the course of our lives; some of us are blessed, we traipse through life with the sun shining down on us and just being happy and lucky and alive. However, for most of us, that's not the case. Friends and loved ones die. Some people get sick or loose all of their money and end up on the streets. We are abused, deceived, hurt, and neglected.

A lot of people think I am pessimistic; this is in fact a lie. But, when people don't really know you they draw conclusions to whatever fits their fantasy of what they want to think about you. People don't care to take the time to learn about others or try to understand them and their situations. They generally don't care if what they say and think is false; they just want something to talk about. A reason to discuss you behind you back. Especially in a small town like Forks.

I first came to Forks one year ago. My mother had passed away in a tragic car accident 8 months before that, and I had been living with my stepfather, Phil, until the school year let out. Then I was to move to forks and live with my biological father, Chief Charlie Swan.

The loss of my mother was, of course, crushing, however we weren't really close. I had always been the adult in our relationship and was constantly reminding her to send in the bill payments and going to the grocery store. I didn't mind really. I have always been a bit of a loner, by choice. I just don't connect really well with other kids my age. I find them a bit petty and tiresome. So keeping the house kept up was more my pace. Except the yard work, for which I hired a local guy from school to do, which later became the single biggest regret of my life.

I digress.

When I moved to forks, I was overwhelmed. It was a small town, so everybody new me, but I didn't know any of them. I was a novelty to the boys at the local high school, a girl they hadn't know since they could walk, and a supply train of gossip for the girls. I formed a tentative friendship with a girl my age, Angela, mostly because she, like me, was quiet and bookish and didn't ask a lot of questions. Sometimes I sat with her and her boyfriend at lunch; sometimes I sat in the library by myself. Many people thought I was weird and friendless, but I just liked being alone.

It's funny how life works out like that. I liked being left alone, and the next thing I knew, I was alone. Charlie was shot in a convenient store robbery. He died. And then; I was truly and completely alone. I was 16 and living in a big old house by myself.

Charlie's lawyer helped me file for emancipation and shortly after, I received my inheritance and became an adult in the eyes of the law.

I went to school and did homework. I cleaned the house and bought groceries. I found a stray cat and brought it home with me. Mostly, he kept to himself, like me, but it was nice to know that when something went bump in the night, it was just cat. Although the yard fell out of disrepair and looked like a jungle, the inside of my home was cozy. The neighbors kept an eye on me, as a sign of respect for their fallen Chief of police, I'm sure, so I knew I was safe.

Timed passed and before I knew it September was ending and the leaves were starting to fall from the trees. Every day when I came home from school, I noted what a disaster my yard was. So one Friday night, whilst all of my peers readied themselves for the football game, I trudged out to the shed at the back of the property to find a rake.

I found I reveled in the physical exertion. My heart was pounding and my chest was heaving. But the time I was finished it was nearly dark and starting to rain. I looked up and noticed a person standing at the front gate. It was too dark to clearly see his face. Warily, I made my way to the gate, keeping several yards from the stranger.

"Can I help you?" I called out.

"It's Edward, from your biology class? I sit behind you."

"Oh, hi Edward. Um… is there something I can do for you?"

"I just noticed you had been working pretty hard out here, but there's still a lot to be done. Would you like some help? I could stop by tomorrow, if you want. I'm pretty hand with a lawn mower."

I chewed my bottom lip, I saw Edward around school but I didn't really know him. Why would he want to help me with yard work?

"Oh… um I don't know…"

an awkward silence filled the gap between us until he spoke, "Well I will give you my number and text me when you make up your mind. I don't really have anything going on this weekend so anytime would work."

"Okay, thanks" I took the slip of paper from him and backed towards my house again.

"Don't forget to lock your door when you go inside. Night Bella." With that he turned on his heel and started walking up the street.

I stood in my now dark yard for several more moments. The night air had a biting chill to it now it was definitely autumn. It was windy too; the wind whipped my hair around my face. I sighed and turned toward my house and went in for the night. I locked the door like Edward had said, not that I wouldn't have done otherwise anyway, and went to the kitchen to make some tea. These were the loneliest nights for me. The cold, dark, rainy ones. I started the electric fire in the den and turned on the TV. I went upstairs to get my blanket and then fetched my tea from the kitchen. I hunkered down on the couch for the night. I hardly ever slept in my bed I preferred the couch. There was nothing good on TV tonight. There usually isn't. I noticed a folded piece of paper on the coffee table. I picked it up and unfolded it; it was Edwards cell phone number. I glanced at my own phone it was only 9:30.

[hey, it's bella swan, I think I'd like to take you up on your offer, if it still stands.]

I wasn't sure what made me do it. Maybe I was lonelier than I realized, maybe I just didn't want to tackle the rest of the yard by myself. Before I had time to ponder this more, my phone vibrated.

[bella! Im so glad you texted me. Of course the offer stands, I'd love to help out does 10:00 work for you or is that too early]

[nope, that's perfect.]

[great. I cant wait! See u then]

I sighed and settled in for another night of restlessness.