Kiyoshi sat in a small basketball court, in a more ignored part of the city, thinking about his life.
How had it gotten to this? He was slowly and slowly inching his way away from his dream. He wanted to play basketball. To play with his team. To play with other teams. To have a challenge. But he soon wouldn't be able to. His knee was getting worse every single day and there was nothing he could do about it. There was also no one he could blame. He could say that yes, Hanamiya did this to him, but he was too soft to actually say it was all his fault. Actually, he would deny that it was all Hanamiya's fault. He would always ask himself why. Why he wouldn't blame Hanamiya for it. And he would never be able to find an answer. He would always tell himself that he was just a guy who was overwhelmed with winning. He didn't know what he was doing.
But then he remembers the things he had said. He had said that he didn't care about winning. That he just cared about crushing his opponents. He just cared about turning them to trash.
Although, even with these words and reasons flooding his mind, he would still deny his guilt. And that was starting to piss him off.
"Dammit!" he yelled, slightly punching the closest thing to him, which happened to be a metal gate. He gritted his teeth and clenched his eyes closed. Kiyoshi was feeling anger. He was feeling disgust. Sadness. Regret. Hatred. Confusion. Fear.
Fear.
Fear.
Fear.
That word kept repeating in his mind. Fear? Did he really feel fear? Fear of what? Fear of not being able to play basketball?
No.
It didn't seem like it.
Fear of hurting himself?
No.
He has already done enough to himself. Now would be a little too late to be afraid.
Fear of losing his friends?
trusts they are always there for him. They wouldn't do something like that.
Fear.
Fear.
Fear of… Hanamiya?
Kiyoshi stilled at the thought. Why though? Why would he be afraid of Hanamiya? Just because he did a little thing to his knee isn't exactly a reason for him to be afraid of the guy. Is it?
No. It wasn't. At least, Kiyoshi believed that. He believed he had nothing to fear of the guy. Nothing. Then why was he feeling fear?
He took a deep breath and slid down to the floor. He sat with his hands on his knees and cleared his mind for a few moments, just to relax himself. He needs it. He needs some time to just relax. To get everything out of his mind, and sit peacefully. To just forget everything about the world, about his life, about his team and about Hanamiya. A few moments would be enough.
Dammit why? Why did God let this happen to him? Why is he the one made to suffer with this? Maybe he should have just listened to Hyūga in the first year of Seirin and shouldn't have founded the team. If that would have happened then he wouldn't be worrying right now. He wouldn't be worrying about his knee, or how he is going to continue in life without being able to play basketball, or how afraid he may be of what could happen to him next. He wouldn't be here. But if it weren't for it all, where would he be?
Hm. Probably sulking while walking around aimlessly, not a single person to care for and not a single thing to look forward to. No. Kiyoshi doesn't want that.
"I want to play basketball,"
'But I soon won't be able to.'
"I want to continue helping my team,"
'But I soon won't be able to.'
"I want to forget about my injury,"
'But I won't be able to.'
He clenched his teeth as his eyes began to sting.
"I want to protect my team,"
'But I soon won't be able to.'
The tears started to flow.
"I want to forget about him,"
'But I won't be able to,'
They started to flow harder.
"I want to be happy,"
'But I won't be able to be.'
Harder.
"Yo,"
Kiyoshi's eyes widened at the voice.
"I never would have expected to see you here,"
Kiyoshi turned his head a little, glanced at the figure and quickly hid his face again in an attempt to hide the still flowing tears. Wonderful. It was Hanamiya. Oh but why is Kiyoshi surprised, he did of course have the tendency to show up at the worst of times.
"What are you doing here?" Kiyoshi growled a little.
"Now, now, no need to get pissy. I just happened to pass by, and when I saw a bug sitting on the ground like that, I thought it might be fun to mess with it a little,"
Kiyoshi sighed. He was used to this. Used to Hanamiya's taunting tone as he spoke to him. Used to how he made fun of him. How he belittled him. Yet, he was too soft to say anything about it. Actually, he was a little surprised at himself for growling just now. He should have just simply asked, without any emotion to give Hanamiya a chance to corner him.
He heard footsteps begin to approach him. He suddenly felt a shiver. Dammit. If Hanamiya sees him crying he'll have a perfect opportunity to taunt him. He quickly reached up to wipe his tears, but before he could, his arm was suddenly kicked away from his face and his chin was lifted.
"Hah! You're crying? What's wrong? Four eyes not talking to you or something?"
"Nothing's wrong," said Kiyoshi quietly as he tried to pry his chin out of Hanamiya's grasp. He could feel his sharp eyes on him, and he didn't like the feeling. With those eyes on him he felt humiliated and weak.
"Come on Kiyoshi. You can trust me," he laughed a little. Kiyoshi grunted and turned away. His chin was sternly shoved away.
He made no effort to wipe his tears this time. They were still flowing, and he wasn't exactly sure if he could stop them.
"Hanamiya,"
"Hm?"
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why did you do this? Actually no. It's not your fault. Why is my knee like this? Why does it hurt? Why did that match have to turn out like that?"
His voice was slowly fading; as he tried his best not to let the continuous flow of tears get even thicker on his cheeks. He heard a sigh and footsteps coming closer again. He looked up a little and found Hanamiya sitting beside him.
"Why? Well, let me explain to you just why I did that to you,"
Kiyoshi gulped. No. Why had he gotten himself into this situation. He doesn't want to talk about it. Talking about it will just engrave it farther into his mind, and he doesn't want that. He especially doesn't want the guy that everyone but himself blames from his injury to be the one to be telling him all this.
"The misfortune of others… It brings me pleasure. My entire life I have been the kind of person to look at people suffering, and to laugh. The feeling was great. Especially when I was the one causing the suffering. Like right now for example. When I sit here looking at you cry pathetically over you knee, it gives me a warm feeling. A feeling that maybe, I have achieved something great. A master piece, that is. Why did I do this to you? From all the people I have crushed, you were the most enthusiastic. You wouldn't give up. You wouldn't wither when I took you down. You feel but you got up again, like an annoying bug that just won't get crushed no matter how many times you stomp on it. And that intrigued me. It made me want to crush you the most. You were simply another pawn in my pleasures, Kiyoshi,"
Kiyoshi stared wide eyed. He was surprised that such sadistic, such disgusting, such horrible human beings even existed. Hanamiya had told him before that the misfortune of others tastes like honey. No. Misfortune can't taste like honey. Only happiness can. Right? It was the dishonesty in Hanamiya's basketball play that really hurt Kiyoshi.
To be honest, if Kiyoshi had to say, it was Hanamiya that was the misfortunate one. So blinded by his pleasures in hurting others, that he's missing the whole point of his favourite game. His life. It pissed Kiyoshi off that Hanamiya would act so lowly in the sport that was his entire being.
"Hanamiya… Why can't you just… Enjoy basketball?"
Hanamiya raised an eyebrow.
'Why is he asking so many questions damn it?'
"I do enjoy basketball. I do. I just enjoy it in my own special way,"
"But how is that way enjoyable? Don't you ever regret what you've done?"
"Listen if you're doing to ask so many fucking questions then go find someone who will answer them. I have given you straightforward answer. The misfortune of others brings me joy. Watching those who devote so much time and effort, and basically their whole lives writhe in pain and agony is beautiful,"
"You're sick,"
"I've been told," smirked Hanamiya as he stood up. Kiyoshi looked up to him. His tears had stopped flowing but his face had dried trails going down it. He never would have thought it, but he actually felt a little relieved now. He was still feeling extremely pissed off with Hanamiya, for a mountain of reasons, but he couldn't bring himself to be pissed at this very moment. He still felt fear. Fear of being hurt by him again. He still felt humiliation. Still felt everything that he had felt from the very start. But at this moment he could say he felt it a little less. A little.
"Get up," said Hanamiya stretching his hand out for Kiyoshi. Kiyoshi looked confused.
"Oh don't act surprised even I can help someone up off the floor,"
Kiyoshi hesitantly reached and took his hand. He gulped as he was pulled up to his feet. Pulled up to his feet. Pulled up to his feet. Why did he take his hand?
As soon as he was pulled up, he was shoved against the metal gate. He looked at Hanamiya. He had an expression of anger and annoyance on his face.
"Hana-miya?"
"Shut up,"
He felt his shoulders get a little sore. He looked over and saw that Hanamiya was pinning him by his shoulders and his nails were digging in to him. He looked back and now Hanamiya was staring him dead in the eyes. Was this another way for him to tease him? Did Hanamiya think that life was just a game where you can go around belittling and humiliating everyone?
"Hanamiya let me g-"
He didn't get to finish the sentence. Hanamiya's lips were suddenly pressed to his. Kiyoshi couldn't register what was going on. His knees were going numb, his shoulders were aching, his heart was beating too fast for his body, his mind was blank and he started to feel scared again.
He tried to struggle in Hanamiya's grasp but failed. Hanamiyas pressed their lips down harder.
Kiyoshi was beginning to get a little light headed. He needed air and he needed it fast.
As though Hanamiya could sense Kiyoshi's desperation, he separated their lips and let go of his shoulders. Kiyoshi instantly gasped for air as he balanced himself against the gate. Hanamiya smirked at the sight of Kiyoshi's flushed and panting expression.
"What the hell was that?" Kiyoshi asked, feeling a little annoyed at the sudden assault.
"Oh that was nothing. Just another one of my inner pleasures,"
"You're insane," breathed Kiyoshi.
"And you… You're one hell of a masterpiece…"