A/N: Thanks again to all of you for following me and for the wonderful reviews. :) I've been away for a while because of my injury and I've just started to touch a keyboard recently. I wrote this one-shot because I needed to let some things out. You can't stop the Muse! It took me some time and lots of painkillers but I needed to write this, it was primal. I'll hope you'll enjoy this since this piece is special to me. I'll get back to writing Cocoon Meets Pulse.

Oerba Yun Fang is the sole property of Square Enix. I don't make money from exploring her emotions.

Confession of a Huntress

Hey Sunshine,

Here I am sitting at a table in a coffee shop and shaking my head left to right with a half smile on my face. Life can be so ironic sometimes that you can't help wondering if there's a divine conspiracy somewhere or if it's not one of those days where the gods are so bored, they decide to have fun at your expense. Etro and even Lady Luck must have the time of their lives at the moment while they look down at poor ol' me, who's proud of being straightforward; who's not all sugar and rainbows when it's time to speak my mind and who can be blunt and shameless. I'm here trying to gather my thoughts together but unable to find the right words so they can finally come out. You know that famous word that makes you cringe all the time: emotions? And now I chuckle. But yeah. These emotions have been piling up for a while now and they weigh in the pit of my stomach, just like after eating too much Gorgonopsid I guess. I don't like them either you know. Emotions get in your way and make you lose your focus. You become weak and helpless because you're open. It's so easy to get hurt.

Remember when we met in Palumpolum? I know I do. Etro how can I forget? I saw you fight those Sanctum scumbags and it was like pure artistry. You were swift, graceful and deadly. You were totally focused on kicking ass and yeah, I have to admit I was busy checking yours so I guess that's why my battle prowess shined less than yours that day. Then I got more acquainted with you or let's just say I got more acquainted with your back handed slap and it really stung! I'm used to get hit on by women and not being hit period. Yeah now I'm smirking.

Then we were together for a while, comrades in arms and later friends, trying to save the world from the fal'Cie and bring Serah back. That's where I got to know you better, to discover the real you. Not the soldier who wanted to bring down Orphan and end her focus but the woman behind the uniform. I got to know the real you by observing you when you were alone with your thoughts, when you thought no one looked. I watched you from afar. There were times – though those were seldom – where you'd let your guard down, where you'd remove your armour only for a short while and Lady Luck was kind enough to grant me a glimpse of what was hidden beneath that cold exterior, as most people would call it. I saw a beautiful treasure, a bright light that just waited to shine and blind the world, if only the walls surrounding it weren't so high.

With time I discovered a determined woman with a heart of gold, who was willing to put her life on the line for the ones she loves, who understood what loyalty and family meant. A woman of character with few words but whose gestures meant everything. Sometimes you would convey how you felt just by a glance, the tone of your voice or the way you stood. I can imagine you saying "And how do you know that?" with the suspicion and skepticism that are so typical of you. Well you know Light, I'm a huntress by trade and I learned to notice these things. I've had years of practise to learn all there is to know about a prey. Not that I consider you one because I have too much respect for you. You are my equal. And let's not forget how stubborn you can be! I've finally met my match.

I sigh and rake my hand through my hair as I drink my coffee because I realize I'm stalling. Why is it so hard for me to say what I feel?

Then Vanille and I did the ultimate to save all of you from a fate worse than death. I knew the price for that sacrifice and I would do it again for you and for the others but now, I'd do it mostly for you.

I've spent all this time in stasis, half awake and not really knowing what would become of me. Between moments of consciousness, your memory kept me company. I dreamt of you. Your beauty and your presence surrounded me, calming my tortured soul and your quiet strength protected me, keeping me from going insane.

But now that I've awoken, now that Cocoon is saved and for once, I have no battles to fight, I'm kind of lost. I look at you now and I see my best friend, my former l'Cie companion and comrade in arms and something's changed. The way I look at you now I... I don't know what to make of it. I just know that I always want to be around you. I want to bask in your light, like a servant of Etro would, even if the light can be cold and distant sometimes. I would be content just to be with you, sitting cross-legged on the bank of a river and enjoy the wild beauty that makes Gran Pulse what it is. Just the two of us, together in complete silence with our eyes closed, feeling the warmth of the sun on our skin and the gentle wind blowing through our hair. We'd listen to the rustling of trees and the chirping of birds. You know just be in peace, in harmony with nature. I know we've spent a lot of time doing this in the past, taking strength from the earth before a battle but this time, I know it would be different.

I would spend hours looking at you and listening to that soft throaty voice of yours that gives me shivers and I know I wouldn't get tired. I would sit closer to you and revel in your presence. I would feel the heat emanate from your body, the wind would carry the scent of your hair and I would get high on you. If Lady Luck would be kind enough, maybe I'd have the will to brush the top of your hand and find out how soft your skin is. I'd hear your breath hitch in your throat from surprise but maybe you wouldn't pull away. Maybe you'd stay there, waiting to see what would happen. Emboldened by this, maybe I would take a step further and caress your hair. I've always wanted to touch it, to feel its silkiness through my fingers, to see the sun shine through that unusual colour. I'd watch you close your eyes in delight and sigh with contentment and I would smile tenderly, enraptured by your beauty. My heart would beat fast in my chest from such intense feelings and the thought that there could be more between us would be like a dream come true because yes, it's a dream I have.

I have to stop writing for a few minutes. I tremble too much because the truth just hit me in the gut like a Ruin spell would. I tried to deny what I feel, to pretend it doesn't exist but who am I kidding? I know what it is and I could put a name on it but I won't because I don't want to. I believe in the power of words, in the power of names. When you put a name on a word, you make it real and it changes everything. It gives a whole new dimension to what you feel. I'm a huntress, a warrior and I don't fear much but I fear this. I'm so scared of it and I know why. I mean I know Serah is the most important person to you. She's the one who gets all your affection and there's also your job. It takes a big place in your life and maybe you don't have time for something else or you simply don't want to.

And there's also another reason why I don't dare come out to you. It's that wall of yours that you've built around you so long ago. It's thick and there are days where I feel it's almost impenetrable, that no matter how hard someone tries, nothing can get through it. There are days where you act like you don't want anybody around, like you don't need anyone. I guess by keeping people at bay, it's a way for you to protect yourself from getting hurt. I can understand that since I've been hurt too and in more ways than you'll ever know. We all have our ways of dealing with the pain. I know yours is a silent one.

So that's why I keep what I feel about you for myself. That's why I don't say a word and act like there's nothing between us. It's that damn fear and I can put a name on it because it's real. My fear is rejection. Yeah I, Oerba Yun Fang who flirts and makes smart-ass comments all the time, am afraid of being rejected by you. I'm afraid of opening my heart and be laughed at or not be taken seriously or worse, that you won't feel the same. And then, what would happen to our friendship? I don't want to lose it because it matters to me more than anything else. You matter to me.

So that's why I'll pretend that what I feel doesn't exist. I'll push it down for now. Maybe with the help of Lady Luck, I'll get the sign I need one day. If that happens then I'll make my move and if not, maybe she'll have enough pity on me to make it go away. But for now, I'll content myself with your company while getting drunk on your inaccessible beauty. I'll wait because I can be patient. That's what a huntress does and for you, I'm willing to wait forever.

Fang heard the bells chime as someone opened the door and stepped inside the coffee shop. She knew it was Lightning just by her scent. She didn't want the soldier to see what she had written so she quickly put the pen away in a pocket of her leather jacket and folded the pages with shaky hands but it was too late, the soldier was already seated.

"Hey Light," she said softly.

"Hey. Sorry for being late I had something to finish at work."

"That's okay. You want coffee?"

"Sure." She pointed with her chin at Fang's piece of paper, which she held tightly in her fist. "What were you writing?"

"Oh, nothing important."

Lightning shrugged. "Alright... If you say so."

The Pulsian smiled tenderly. "Yeah I say so but maybe one day, I'll let you read all about it."

THE END