Author's Note: Something cute and amusing (and pretty OOC in retrospect...) for Valentine's Day. My life needs more Ironshipping.
It started when Byron came home with a grocery bag and a giddy smile. Byron had stopped visiting the grocery store alone ever since Riley moved in. Now that there was a fantastic cook under his roof, he was no longer condemned to a diet of instant noodles and frozen meals in between his favorite restaurants.
Riley, who had been recovering from a cold, looked up from his newspaper. "What's that you've got?" he asked with a smile. Many times Byron had promised to attempt an easy meal for the two of them. What better time than when his lover was feeling under the weather, and so close to the most romantic holiday of the year?
With a grin alighting his scruffy face, Byron set the bulky bag on the coffee table. "Stuff for Roark. He likes these a lot. And these." He pulled out bags of candy, individually wrapped in red and pink foil. "And this! Look!" Into Riley's face he brandished a small stuffed cranidos - a shiny one, with red markings - holding a silken heart in its stubby arms.
Riley just watched as Byron made the cranidos dance a little. "Honey... he's eighteen," he finally said.
Byron retracted the plush protectively. "S'just a thing I do every year, since he moved to Oreburgh," he mumbled. "Kind of a joke, really. He calls and yells at me when I send him all this pink stuff. So I keep doin' it."
Riley softened. Leave it to Byron to turn his awkward fatherly gesture into a gag. And if he knew Roark, the boy would appreciate it beyond the embarrassment. That was why he loved them both. "That's adorable. You're adorable." He folded up his newspaper and set it on the table. "You know... this will be our first Valentine's Day together."
"Yeah." Byron was still gazing at the cranidos. "Ohhh," he said after it sunk in. Hastily he set the toy down and sat down next to the love of his life. "What should we do? Go on vacation? Have a candlelit dinner?"
"I don't know if I'll be up for making us a lavish meal." Right on cue, he coughed and sniffled, and reached for a tissue to blow his nose. "I hope I'm better by then. I don't feel very attractive and romantic."
"You always are." Byron stroked his extra-unruly black hair. "I wouldn't ask you to cook all day for Valentine's even if you were well. I'll take you someplace nice. I-if you want." He was still hesitant about showing his affection at times.
"I'd like that." Riley leaned his forehead against his love's, not wanting to kiss him and pass on his lingering germs. "You have to clean yourself up, though. And shave."
Byron chuckled. "Yes, dear. You can pick out what I wear, even."
Riley smiled. He was getting an idea, and he kept it to himself.
Two days later, the remnants of Riley's cold were 95% gone, so he revealed his Valentine's gift early - reservations at Canalave's best hotel for the weekend, to follow their lovely dinner. It was always extra cute to watch Byron blush and stammer at a bold suggestion. "Why get a hotel? We live together..."
"Because it's a special occasion," Riley answered, not having the heart to say he wanted to spend their romantic weekend out of Byron's modest, slightly cramped apartment. Besides, he'd just been sick, and was craving some opulence. "And because I got a room with a hot tub."
The blush came back full force. "S'too much. Stop reminding me you're loaded."
With a chuckle, Riley patted Byron's cheek. "I can't think of a better way to spend my inheritance. I'm going to start packing. For both of us."
Staying behind in the living room, Byron tugged on his collar. Riley was smooth like that, and when he wanted something, he found a way to get it. Byron, an exuberant gym leader who was known for his impulsiveness and enthusiasm regarding his hobbies, froze up like a nervous youth when it came to romance. He was as crazy about Riley - the talented, enigmatic, elegant Riley - as he was fossils and digging equipment and bodybuilding. He wanted to climb up on the roof of his gym and yell to the city how much he loved him. But he knew that wouldn't be appropriate. How else could he show his cultured lover how much he meant to him? How else, privately, in their supposedly luxurious hotel room complete with hot tub?
Byron gulped. It was time to do something bold.
When they returned to their hotel after an exquisite meal, Byron nervously opened his suitcase, where he'd been hiding a gift. He handed Riley the wrapped box and fidgeted while he untied the professionally-done ribbon.
Riley's eager smile faded somewhat. "Um... you got me the same stuff for Roark?" He pulled out a bag of candy and a plush cranidos.
"What? No, I-" The color drained from Byron's shaved face. "Oh no."
"You used the same gift boxes for both of us, didn't you?" Riley deduced. "And you forgot which is which when you mailed his?" He was trying his best to suppress his amusement. "I keep telling you to double check everything. I wonder if Roark's enjoying my gift?"
"Maybe he didn't open it yet!" Byron scrambled for his cell phone. "Or it hasn't come! Oh God..." He plopped onto the bed beside Riley and groaned as he waited for his son to answer.
Roark answered, but instead of his usual greeting, he shouted, "Dad, what the HELL?" It was loud enough for Riley to hear, and he lost his composure and doubled over laughing.
"Listen, I can explain," Byron tried to say.
"I appreciate the imported dark chocolate, but what am I supposed to do with- wear it? Are you encouraging me to date more? Why on earth would you send me... what is it even... a man thong?"
"I got the packages mixed up!" Byron yelled, mortified.
Riley sat up with tears in his eyes. He clapped Byron's shoulder. "Did he just say 'man thong'?"
"What was that?" Roark asked. "Wait... are you saying this is for Riley? Oh my God! What are you even doing for Valentine's Day?!"
"What any two grown men in love would do!" Byron shouted.
"These are things I don't want to know about my dad!"
"Well, tough shit! Now send those back here so I can put 'em on already!"
Roark was silent for a moment. "You mean they're for you to wear?! Oh my God!" He was wailing with disbelief now.
"Would you calm down already?" Byron growled over his cries. "Look, I'll come get 'em myself Monday and bring your gift with me."
"I want twice as much candy for the psychological damage."
"I'll give you psychological damage!"
Roark laughed. "Okay, okay. Go enjoy your weekend, Dad. I'm gonna go to the Underground and dig up stuff until I pass out and forget this ever happened."
"Atta boy. See ya later." Byron ended the call and let out a heavy sigh. "Well, I just ruined our weekend. And scarred my son for life."
Riley, whose hysterics had faded but still looked very amused, patted his muscular back. "No you haven't. He's a big boy now, he'll be okay."
Byron sighed again. "I jus' wanted to do something... sexy," he mumbled. "Shouldn'a tried, it was a disaster."
"Oh please. You don't even have to try." Riley's voice dipped low as he kissed Byron's neck. "I can't wait to see, though. What color are they?"
"Gunmetal grey," he answered with another blush unrelated to the mix-up.
"Nice." Riley's lips sought his, and he started to pull him down. "Wait..." he said, reaching for the gift box. He set the stuffed cranidos on the nightstand, facing their bed.
"What's that for?"
"So he can watch us, and tell Roark all the filthy details." Riley grinned.
"You're terrible." Byron chuckled. "That's why I love you."