Who's excited for Season 2?! In honor of the announcement, I'm doing a ficlet where several characters get to experience life as CATS!
Disclaimer: I own one cat, but sadly he is not the feline version of any DRRR! characters (I don't own them in any form). He is just old and fat and lazy. Though his name is Simon, so maybe he's a former sushi chef.
Celty tilted her head, eying the label on the bottle in her hand. The liquid inside was supposedly guaranteed to make your significant other keep their hands to themselves in public. She wasn't sure how it worked, but she checked the ingredients and didn't see anything that she recognized as toxic. Plus, Shinra had been extra grabby lately, and while she didn't mind as much anymore, it had been a little annoying. Maybe this would help.
She bought the bottle and slipped a dose of the liquid into Shinra's food that night.
The next morning, she woke up next to a brown tabby cat.
Confusion flooded her, and she leaped up. Why was there a cat in the bed?! Where was Shinra?! The Dullahan scooped up the tabby and carried it through the apartment as she searched for Shinra. The underground doctor was nowhere to be seen, and he hadn't left a note either. She tried texting his phone, but found it next to the bed, where he left it at night.
Where is Shinra?!
Meanwhile, the cat in her arms grew increasingly difficult to hold as it squirmed around, trying to jump out of her arms. Unwilling to let the little animal scamper around the apartment on its own, she tightened her hold on the feline, drawing a frustrated yowl from it.
Holding the cat tightly with one arm, Celty used the other to pick up her PDA and type on it for a second.
'Quit squirming!' she ordered showing the screen to the unhappy tabby. To her surprise, the cat paused in its wriggling and stared at the screen. Then the cat reached out with one forepaw, batting at the keys hopefully, ears pricked. Celty would have frowned if she had a head, and moved the PDA out of the cat's reach. She didn't want the tabby batting the device out of her hand. As she did so, though, the feline let out a pitiful, frustrated mewl. Eyeing the cat suspiciously, she typed, 'If you break my PDA, I'm going to have Shinra dissect you.' When she showed the cat the screen again, it paused as though reading the words.
Celty shuddered. Was the cat reading the words? Cats couldn't read, could they?
What if it's not a real cat? What if it's a robot? Or an alien?! What if alien cats kidnapped Shinra?!
The cat was pawing at the keys again, firmly enough to press them, but not enough to knock the device out of Celty's suddenly-terrified death grip on the device. She snatched the PDA away from the feline again and dropped it, not wanting the alien to be in contact with any part of her. Instead of running off, though, the cat sat at her feet and stared up at her, wide brown eyes somehow familiar as it looked pleadingly from her to the PDA.
Does it want me to look at the screen? Celty wondered. In spite of her fear of the possible alien at her feet, she glanced at the device in her hand and did a double-take.
The cat's pawing had either been very lucky…or intentional.
'I am Shinra,' the screen read. Celty would have shrieked if she had a mouth to shriek with.
The cat could not only read, but type!
While Celty was still trying to process this, there was a knock at the door. She quickly exchanged her pajamas for her black shadow bodysuit and donned her helmet just in case before she went to answer the door.
Shizuo Heiwajima stood there.
"Hey," he greeted her. "Did you pick up Rimiko's birthday present yesterday?" Celty nodded shakily, trying to focus as the tabby padded up and began weaving around her ankles.
'Of course I did. It's in the living room,' she told him, showing him the screen of her PDA. He nodded.
"Mind if I get it?" he asked. When she shook her helmet, he stepped past her into the apartment, and nearly tripped over the cat. "What the-? Celty, when did you get a cat?" he asked.
'He's not mine,' she responded immediately. Then she remembered the words the cat had left on the screen. 'I am Shinra.' Maybe it wasn't luck. Maybe…maybe the aliens had turned Shinra into a cat!
Does that make it my cat? she wondered.
"Oh. Shinra's not doing some weird experiment with the thing, is he?" Shizuo asked, going to fetch the package Celty had picked up for him the day before. As if responding to the blond's words, the cat leaped forward and tried to sink its teeth into Shizuo's ankle, but only got a mouthful of fabric as the bartender uniform thwarted the cat's attack. Celty froze, half expecting the bodyguard to rage and kick the little feline, but instead, her friend just frowned. "Is that supposed to hurt?" he muttered, picking the cat up by the scruff of its neck and glaring at it.
'Don't hurt it!' Celty exclaimed. If the aliens really had turned the underground doctor into the tabby before her, she couldn't have Shizuo hurting him, even accidentally.
"Relax," Shizuo sighed. Then he took a closer look at the cat. "There's something weird about this cat," he muttered, setting the package down and gently poking at the cat. Said feline stared up at Shizuo with liquid brown eyes, clearly terrified. The blond frowned and reached out toward the cat's face. This was a mistake.
As soon as his finger came into range, the cat snapped its jaws and bit down on the bodyguard's finger, puncturing the skin and drawing blood. If the cat expected a reaction, though, it was disappointed, because Shizuo didn't even blink.
"Again, was that supposed to hurt?" he asked. The cat appeared to be gaping at him, jaw loose and eyes wide. "Weird cat," he muttered, dropping the feline. The tabby yowled in surprise and landed awkwardly.
'Are you okay?' Celty asked. Shizuo nodded.
"I should get back to Ani," he said. "See you later." Then he picked up the package and left. Celty turned to the cat, watching it warily.
'Shinra?' she asked, holding the screen so the cat could see. The creature nodded, and the Dullahan shuddered.
The aliens really DID turn Shinra into a cat!