League of Road Trips

Disclaimer: We don't own shit

Chapter 1: Start to an adventure

"Attention! We need all champions to report to the cafeteria for some big announcement...and while you're at it make sure you visit my niece's lemonade stand, she isn't making that much money and she feels kinda bad about it. It would really make her day if you drop by. You wouldn't wanna crush a child's dreams now would ya?"
"Shut the fuck up Jeffrey, man give me the mic."
"No you shut the fuck up, Paul."

The sun had settled peacefully on the lively sky, as to set the tone for another day at the institute of war. The announcement had always echoed throughout rooms and halls of the building. Riven in particular, was in a good mood because she was just about to eat a BLT she had made. That is, up until the intercoms sounded. She realized she would have to take the responsibility of notifying her dumb roommate. Again. Taking a deep sigh she swiftly made her way down the hall to their dorm. As she entered, Riven stopped short of Ekko's lazy sack of shit self, positioned at the top of the bunk bed and fast asleep as usual. She decided she'd be quick with it this time. "Ekko, it's fucking noon, how are you still in bed? All champions are being called to the mess hall right now and we're going to be late if you don't get off your ass. How are you always this lazy when you're an inven-." Ekko interrupted. "Bitch, fuck you, futurama had a marathon last night, and you're crazy if you think I'd miss that shit." Riven stopped to think to herself, 'Damn that's a good point'. She takes a seat on the recliner and gestures him to hurry up. Ekko jumps out of the bed with all his clothes already on. He starts doing his hair for 30 minutes, but repeatedly winds back time so it only takes 20 seconds. Ekko proceeds to pump 20 Capri Suns into a tiny backpack, taking one out for the journey. He looks toward riven with a Capri Sun dangling from his mouth and lazily growls, "Let's go mang." Riven and Ekko are walking to the hall all the while Ekko slurps the Capri Suns at a constant rate of three slurps a step. It doesn't fucking stop. This continues for almost 20 minutes. Riven mumbled, "What the fuck? Stop drinking those damn Capri Suns you've gone through 15 in the past 20 mins."
"Nah nigga I'm still on my first one." Ekko then opens the bag to show 34 Capri Suns piled into his kiddy spiderman backpack stuffed like a clown car.
Riven questioned "How the fuck do you have more than when we left?" I went back, and I kept grabbing more of them. I gotta get the juice loose baby," Ekko said with a shit eating grin.
They arrive at the cafeteria to see nobody present. Riven is fucking pissed. She was worried about being late, but now the world decides to fuck her shit up? Riven is now visibly mad.
Ekko's smirk increases in polarity, this is his time to strike. "I guess it just wasn't time-,"
Riven interrupts Ekko with a punch to the jaw that knocks him fresh out. He lands on his Capri Suns, instantly bursting what seemed like 63 packages. Riven dragged Ekko's body near a bench while she sits on it, wondering what she could have done to deserve this.

Kalista's head perked up upon hearing this strange announcement. "Maybe today won't be so bad," she thought. She crawled out of her bed in which she had been lying awake in all night. "Oh shit it's noon already, ugh what the hell is wrong with me?" She exclaimed. She slowly dressed herself thinking about what pain today would bring. Trying to brush those thoughts away, she quickly took some anti-depressants and ventured out to the cafeteria. She attempted to go unseen by avoiding the crowds. An alarming voice sounded behind her, "There's that blue whore! Hey Kali, whose dick are you going to suck today?" Kalista didn't bother paying attention to who said it, she simply sped up her pace. When she got to the mess hall she noticed the busy lemonade stand and cursed to herself for not bringing any cash. She decided to sit in the back and wait for everyone else to pile in. While she was waiting, she whipped out her phone to check what was being said about her on LeagueSpace, only to see that the bullying had gotten worse.
"Yo, why kalista lookin like a tube of colgate. lol"
"Lol yeah i mean she reminded me of those sponges you see in them pee only toilets nigga."
"you mean a urinal cake you fucking idiot?"
"You know what charlie shut the fuck up"
"you shouldn't have opened your dumb ass mouth then boi, bouta redirect my orbital roast cannon."
The comments kept going and going with the original colgate topic being elaborated. Kalista put her phone down in disdain, wishing she could just go back in time and just fix everything.

Zed, upon hearing the announcement, began to stir. Having awakened a couple hours ago, he refused to get up due to Syndra's nude body lying on his. He woke Syndra explaining to her what was happening."Good morning darling," he said gently. "Good morning dear," replied Syndra sleepily.
"We need to report to the cafeteria right now," Zed stated as he began to get up. As he started to dress himself Syndra spoke up again,
"Just go on without me for now. I'll get up in a minute." Given the permission to leave, Zed left with a goodbye. As he made his way down to the mess hall he noticed there wasn't much of a crowd there. He was one of the first couple champs to arrive. Upon spotting a little girl running a lemonade stand he quickly living shadowed over to get himself some of that. Upon seeing her first customer, the little girl said, "You're only here cause uncle Jeffrey told you about me huh?" Zed, remembering what was said over the intercom replied "No, you don't understand, I just fucking love lemonade." The little girl started to get mad, saying "That's it, because you lied to me, no lemonade for you." "PLEASE! I JUST WANT SOME LEMONADE!"Zed cried out. To which she replied "No, now get the fuck away from my stand." Empty handed, and with tears in his eyes, Zed decided go sit down. He sat at the front and waited for the rest of the champions to make their appearance.

Janna was walking through the mall with her Starbucks in tote when she heard the announcement. She began happily striding towards the mess hall, when suddenly, something tripped her, causing her to drop her Starbucks and faceplant. Angry at whatever tripped her, she got up and turned around only to see the nude, passed out body of Gangplank. As she approached him, she noticed a strong scent of alcohol. Upon closer inspection she sees he is lying hungover in a puddle of booze. She decided to wake him up, asking if he needed any help. When he woke he sputtered, "Buh, where's me oranges?" At first confused, Janna looked around and quickly spotted a small pile of oranges lying neatly on the floor just outside of Gp's reach. She grabbed one and hovered over to hand it to him. He took one look at the orange before viciously devouring it. Janna watched in awe as he stood up as if nothing had happened. "Thank ya, Miss," he paused looking down at his still nude body, "Have ye seen me clothes." Janna silently pointed towards the heap of clothes in the corner, slowly backing away, and looking around, not wanting to been seen talking with the naked man. She then remembered that she needed to go to the cafeteria. "Oh, by the way Gangplank, we need to report to the cafeteria," she stated matter of factly. Without waiting for a reply, she quickly ventured the rest of her way to the mess hall. Not wanting to trip this time, she fucking floated I don't fucking know. Once she got there she noticed she was one of their last few to arrive. There was an abandoned lemonade stand in the corner, walking away from it was a little girl with bags of gold hanging over her shoulder. She sat down near the front, instantly taking her phone out to pass the time. She decided to go on LeagueSpace, to see what was happening with the other champs. She noticed Kalista was being toasted again so she decided to join in. She got on her other account, TempestTemper, so Kalista wouldn't know it was her, and said to her,
"Lol omg Kalista looks like a chicken tender that got deep freezed XD omg."
"Oh my goodness I completely agree! If anything i think she is most comparable to a Jimmy Dean's hot dog dipped in liquid nitrogen and sent straight into pluto! I mean i'm not sure if a hot dog could even withstand such extreme temperatures, then again do you know what they put in hot dogs?" Replies Heimer.
"Shut the fuck up you overgrown popcorn kernel"
After a few moments of waiting Janna saw Gangplank arrive fully clothed. With all the champions finally gathered, the summoners began their announcement.

A robed man, standing at the front of the cafeteria raised a mic to his mouth and spoke, "Welcome, and thank you all for meeting us here today. My name is summoner Paul, and this is my colleague Jeffrey, and we have a very special announcement for you champions. There will be six of you, that will have the opportunity to go on a vacation across Runeterra!" Instantly, people jumped up shouting, "Me me me me me!"
"Calm down everyone, we will be drawing names from this jar here. Three men and three women will be drawn for this event, and you can't give up your spot, you must proceed up the front when you name has been called. Jeffrey, draw the first name."
"For our first lucky guy we have….Ekko!"
Seeing that Ekko was still passed out Riven woke him up telling him to go to front and stand next to the summoners.
"Huh, what?"
"Just go," Riven yelled.
Ekko sprinted up to the front, with juice stains on his shirt, and took his spot next to Paul.
"For our first lucky lady we have Riven," Jeffrey exclaimed.
Riven ran up to take her spot next to Ekko.
"Well that was lucky," Riven whispered to Ekko.
He replied by stating, "I still don't know why I'm here."
Jeffrey continued, "For our next man, we have...Gangplank. And for our next lady, we have…Janna!"
The two walked up greeting each other, before greeting the other two members of the group.
"Hello, Janna said.
"Hi," Ekko and Riven replied.
Jeffrey continued, "For out final man we have….. Zed!"
Zed walked up to the front simply waving to the group.
Jeffrey continued further saying, "...and for our final lady we have…"
Zed silently spoke to himself saying, "Please, don't pick Syndra. Please, don't pick Syndra. Please, don't pick Syndra."
"Kalista," Jeffrey finished.
"YES," Zed exclaimed maybe a bit too loud.
Riven overheard and looked at him in with a confused face, as Kalista was making her way to the front. When she got to the front, audible murmurs could be heard in the crowd.
"Isn't that the girl that sucked dick in the restroom?"
"How come that slut gets to go?"
"Aw shit, I dropped my pizza."
Kalista looked away in shame.
"There it is, our six lucky champions that get to go on this wonderful vacation," Paul said before continuing. "So um, with that out of the way, I got this big mac here soooooo as a side announcement, this is how you eat a big mac nigga." Before Paul could take a bite out of his sandwich, Jeffrey smacked it out of his hands, and onto the floor. "Jeffery what the fuck! Damn son, c'mon son. Damn son, that was my big mac son. C'mon son."

Author's Note: This is our first fanfic, please feel free to point out anything wrong or you think that we could do better on. Even if you just shit talk us we wouldn't mind, and we'd still be grateful for you taking the time to help us.