Without Rachel 2

by Deansgirl95

Rachel's turned her back on Dean after learning the truth about how her father died. She wants nothing to do with anything related to the Winchesters and has all but disappeared. Dean's never felt like this before. He's lost with out her. Feelings he's never had before plague him every day as he tries to go about his life Without Rachel. Story 9 in my series, please read and review

1. Chapter 1

Dean didn't tell Sam about John getting James O'Conner killed until about three days after they left the road house. He'd walked away from Rachel, got in the car with his brother and drove away in silence.

He would have told Sam if he'd asked, but he hadn't. Dean was grateful to Sam for picking up on the fact that things hadn't gone well and not asking about it.

Dean hadn't been angry at her after. She'd avoided his touch like he carried a deadly virus, and while that hurt he'd sucked it up because he felt horrible for her, had wanted to comfort her, to say that he was sorry and let her know that if he'd known he never would have kept it from her.

As time went on he began to feel more and more rejected. She'd told him to go and avoided his eyes like he'd been the one that had taken her father away. It wasn't until later, when he and Sam had finally gotten a motel room and laid down for some much needed sleep, that the resentment started to bubble up.

He'd lain there listening to Sam snore peacefully on the bed next to him. As exhausted as he was, sleep should have come easily, but instead his brain was running over that conversation over and over again. Every time he envisioned her pulling away when he'd tried to reach out to her, he felt it like a kick to his stomach. He tried to defend her actions in his head,tried to find reason in the way she'd treated him, but to no avail.

There were moments in his argument with himself that he could almost forgive her for treating him like that; there were moments when he chastised himself for making the situation about him.. She'd just found out that her father had been killed because of a mistake by his father, of course she was going to be averse to anything Winchester after that.

Around and around he went with it, but kept coming back to the point that she had no reason to be angry at him. He himself had done nothing, and they were lovers on top of that. Did their time together mean nothing to her? Give him any kind of pass for his father's actions? It was those thoughts that made him angry at her.

You sound like a damn chick, Dean. His conflict within himself was soon shut out by the sheer exhaustion that ran through his body. He took his thoughts into his dreams with him and it was there that Rachel was running from him, and he was trying to catch up with her, yelling at her to stop and listen to him. When he finally caught up to her with a hand on her shoulder, she refused to turn around and look at him. He tried to turn her around himself so she could look him in the eye but every time he did, over and over again, it was always her back that faced him.

Three days later he told Sam about it. Sam defended her of course and Dean knew he was right to do so. Sam argued that she was hurt and needed some time alone and they should just let her be for a while,so Dean let her be and didn't call her.

They got a case not long after that and that kept his attention for a whole week. When it was over he felt like it was time to call her but unfortunately that thought came while he was sitting in jail cell. So his options were very limited.