Chapter I - It was all just a dream...
Luann sat up in bed with a start, sweat beading on her face, leaving her hair in stringy clumps. She looked around the darkened dorm room and shuddered. It was nothing like where she had been a moment ago in her dream.
She stood up and momentarily wished her dorm room had a sink so she could splash some water on her face. She'd have to put in a bathrobe and go down to the communal bathroom if we wanted to do that. While trying to decide whether to do that, there was a pounding on her door.
"Luann!" A woman shouted through the door. "It's Allison, the RA. Are you all right?" The pounding on the door resumed.
Luann drifted to the door and opened bit. She peered out and asked, "What's the matter?"
"Are you all right? Is there anyone else in there with you. Did they do anything to you?" Allison was a tall woman, with short brown hair, enormous shoulders. She was a senior on the tennis team.
"I'm fin," Luann told her, "I just had a bad dream."
"It must have been a doozy because we could hear you scream all the way the hall."
"Sheesh." Luann thought then peered down the hall. It was filled with girls of all shapes and sizes and dressed in whatever they had on at the moment. "I screamed?" Luann asked, confused. "Wow... Look, I'm sorry I woke you all up. It was just a dream."
Allison turned to the girls crowded behind her. "You heard Luann, it was just a dream. So everyone back to bed." She made brushing movement with her hands, "shoo, shoo," she added. Turning back to Luann, she asked, "Are you sure you're going to be all right? Do you want to talk about your dream. I've found that talking over a disturbing dream with someone else is a great way to make them less threatening."
Luann was about to decline but thought about it. Yeah, talking it over with someone would help settle her nerves. What she really would like was to talk it over with Bernice but Bernice was at Harvard or, according to her dream, blown to bits. Luann opened the door all the way. "Yeah, come on in."
She turned on a desk lamp, which provided a shadowy weak light. She slumped on her bed. Allison drew the chair out from the desk, swung it around, straddling the seat in a mannish fashion. With behavior like that and her broad shoulders Luann wondered not for the first time either Allison was transgender. Not that there was anything wrong with that; she just had trouble getting her head around the idea.
"Well," Allison prompted.
Luann wasn't sure where to start so she pointed across the room to where an identical bed-wardrobe-desk combination pressed against the wall. "What the deal? I thought I was supposed to have a roommate named Dez but it's been nearly a week and there's no sign of Dez but there are all these people who keep coming saying that Dez said they could dump their stuff here."
"Did you ever think to tell them 'no?"
Luann felt flustered. "Well, ah, I mean Dez said they could..."
Did Dez ever ask you if they could. No, because she's never showed up. Until then you have final say over what can be left here. And if and when Dez shows up, she's still going to have to get your OK. Dorm rules. So what have you got here." Allison stood up and walked over to the pile on Dez's desk. "Is that a weasel?" She pointed to a wire cage.
"Sunny said Dez said she could leave it here."
"Dorm rules. No pets. You'll have to tell Sunny to come and get it."
"I haven't seen Sunny since..."
"Then call Animal Control." Allison turned to the potted plant on the desk, stroked it's leaves, then smelled her fingers. "What's this?" she asked ominously.
"A plant?" Luann hadn't really looked at it.
"A ... 'plant.' What kind of a plant?"
"I don't know. A fern?"
"Do you know what pot is?"
"I never touch the stuff."
"This is a pot plant, Luann. Who brought it here?"
"Some guy, I didn't get his name. He's tall, thin, has long, straight blond hair that comes down to his waist. I wish I had hair like that." Luann fingered her sweat-dampened hair for a second. "He looks like one of those 80s hair groups, like Scorpion."
"I know who you mean. Everyone calls him Hair. Stupid name. Well, this has got to go and Hair is in big trouble." Allison picked up the plant and turned to go.
"I thought we were going to talk about my dream?"
"Oh..." Allison set the plant back down and turned her chair around and this time sat on it normally. "So tell me about it..."
"I dreamed-" Luann paused to decide where to begin. "It was an incredibly vivid dream and it just seemed to go on forever. It was almost like I was living someone's life. Anyway it ended when The Fuze blew up killing all my friends and family."
"The Fuze?" Allison prompted
"It was like this crazy coffehouse, theater, event venue my parent had decided to invest all their money in. Anyway, I had just had an argument with Quill over the amount of time he was spending with Pru and decided I needed to get out and calm down. I hadn't gone a block when The Fuze exploded, killing everyone. I guess that's when Iscreamed because I woke up right after."
"Sounds like separation anxiety. A lot of Freshmen get that. This is often the first time they've been away from home and it hits them every hard."
"No." Luann shook her head. "In the first place Quill and I were just friends, nothing more, and he went back to Australia after graduation. He was here because his father was working on some project here at Muni U. and left when the project was done."
"Maybe you were wishing you and Quill were more than just friends..." Allison suggested.
"Well, he was kind of hunky, but it was obvious that he was just a surfer dude who had no goals or ambitions. In my dream, though, he had decided he was going to be an actor, for some reason we got real close, then he went to New York for a week and came back with some actress friend. But they were 'just friends' the way Quill and I used to be. For some reason I found myself really jealous about this."
"Maybe..." Allison began, pausing as if sorting through her mind for an an appropriate response.
"Look," Luann interrupted, "if I wanted to be psychoanalyzed I'd call Bernice. She knows me and she's read more books on abnormal psychology then you have. My dream is weird because I dreamed that Gunther had run off to Peru with his girlfriend. I know she asked him to do that but Gunther's too much of a momma's boy to ever go. He instead he took a scholarship to MIT. Bernice got in to Harvard. I'm sure she can explain why I dreamed she was Dez's roommate instead of me. I dreamed Delta went to Howard University, instead of being down the hall here. Maybe I screamed because I realized that Tiffany and her little sycophant, Crystal were here, too. They were just a pain in the neck in high school. I was hoping I could avoid them in collage..."
"So you're going to be OK?" Allison asked. She sounded anxious to keave.
"So, sure. If I have any more weird dreams I'll run them by Bernice. I'll try not to scream at night."
"OK, then. I'll take this plant and talk to Hair in the morning. Don't warn him. OK? Oh, and get rid of the weasel."
Plant in hand, Allison was through the door leaving Luann along in the dark.
The current (2016) storyline in Luann is so horrid that I seriously wish they'd pull a "Dallas" and erase the last two year's continuity. Which is what I did here. Reportedly the goal was to transition Luann to young adulthood, surround her with new wacky character to freshen up the 34 year old series. What we got instead was a series centered on Bernice, who had moved into a college dorm and was surrounded by wacky dorm-mates and got caught up in wacky college life. Even when the strip shifted it's POV to Luann, it was Luann sitting passively in an art class led by a buffoon. It wasn't about Luann at all. The only other thing was an occasional strip where Luann talks to Quill but Quill suddenly was all about being an actor and indifferent to how Luann felt. The other problem with the strip is that story arcs are never resolved. Like this week where Luann "seems" to breaking up with Quill but at the end of the week she just walks away without saying those three little words - 'we are through.' Next week she could groveling back to Quill who promises to be a better man. But men never change.
So this is how I would re-boot the storyline. Bernice is gone and Luann has taken her rightful place at the center of the strip. Gunther's gone because he's become annoying. Delta is back. She had been left out of the strip because she had become a shrill one-note character. Because #blacklivesmatter I think we ought to bring her back and having her try to organize a BLM chapter in one of the whitest schools in comics. Tiffany remains because Luann needs an antagonist. And I've added Crystal because I think there's a lot of energy in the Crystal-Knute relationship. I see Crystal as a condescending snob, much like Tiffany, but she's also clearly in love with the witless goofball. So I can see a lot of conflict in their relationship as Crystal tries to study and Knute tries to drag her off to concerts, raves and dances. Knute would not be in college, he would be trying to break into professional skateboarding. From time to time Crystal is going to kick Knute out the door, but because she loves him always comes back and forgives him. Sunny, Hair and the other who were supposed to be Dez's wacky friends will have to be introduced again - only this time with personalities.
I'd started written another story about Luann starting college. I was going to abandon it but now, with a little re-writing should be made to fit into with this story.