Summary: Soo... ever wondered what Zaraki-Taichou's biggest secret is? It's a biiiig secret... One that only one person knows...only one . Only one figured out and lived. Know who that was? Unohana-Taichou. That's who. Now.. what was that secret?

Hi! Hollowheart here! this is a one-shot! probably very short... sooo...

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Zaraki Kenpachi's biggest secret

Chapter 1(and maybe the only chapter, it depends)- hmmmm...

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"Alright! Listen up ya weaklings! You're gonna be working for me now!" Zaraki growled. The pink haired girl on his back giggled. "So first! I wantcha ta run 50 laps along the inner wall of Sereitei... On yer hands." He added grinning maliciously.

"Ne... Ken-chan... do you reaaaally think they can do it?" she whispered loud enough for everybody to hear.

Kenpachi didn't even have to think. "Nope!"

The recruits shuffled around angrily. "Who does he think he is..." muttered one.

Zaraki heard that. "I heard that..."he said pointing at the unfortunate soldier," come here..." he beckoned with a finger.

Everybody stepped back a step, leaving the poor recruit exposed in the front ranks. "M-m-me?" he stuttered.

Kenpachi rolled his eyes. Another genius. "No. not you. the little grass clump at your feet."

The recruit exhaled. "Phew. I'm glad that it wasn-"

"YES, YOU IDIOT! OF COURSE I'M TALKIN' TA YOU!" Kenpachi yelled, then sighed," Just get up here..."

The recruit shakily made his way up to Zaraki. Kenpachi towered over him like a giant. "Well... for one thing, I am your Taichou. So, Zaraki-Taichou should bjie preferable...right?" He cocked his head to one side.

The head nodded. Zaraki glared.

"H-hai, Zaraki-T-taichou..."

"Che. Now that we have that cleared up, let's see how well you fight. Ne, Yachiru?" He said, addressing the pink-haired girl."If you win, Yachiru, you get to uh...chew on Madarame's head."

"Yay!" Yachiru jumped off Kenpachi's shoulders and twirled around.

"hrnnn????!!!!!" Ikkaku's eye's widened. shit. Not fair.

"Aaand... if you win," Zaraki grinned, pointing at the recruit," you can be captain."

The recruit somehow had become more confident and braver. "Yachiru? Wanna give him a handicap?" Zaraki said.

The recruit looked mad. "I don't need no damn handicap fighting a little kid!"he growled

The other recruits in the audience looked alarmed. They had all heard the rumors about 11th division's fukutaichou... One of them whispered to his neighbor,"Hey, who is that little girl, anyway?"

The neighbor looked appalled. "You don't know? That's the fuku-taichou! Kusajishi Yachiru! and that guy up there is gonna be sent to the fourth division soon..."

"F-fuku taichou???!!!!"

The neighbor only nodded silently. he put a finger to his lips. "shh... it's gonna start soon... You might wanna watch closely...you won't be able to see her..."

Yumichika stood between the two enemies. "I'll be the beautiful referee..." he said, tossing his head.

The recruit took his battle stance. Yachiru didn't even bother to unsheath her sword. She, however hid something behind her back. Kenpachi's sharp eyes quickly discerned the item. He chuckled. That Yachiru...

Yumichika's let his arm fall. The recruit roared and sped toward the bubblegum haired girl. He took the sword above his head and brought it down quickly. Yachiru flickered for a moment. Then her eyes widened in surprise.

Several strands of pink hair fell to the ground and Yachiru collapsed on the ground. Zaraki was in shock. Ikkaku celebrated inwardly. And-

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And I'm too lazy to put the next part in this chapter... sooo... I'll just put it in the next one...