Rudy Roughnight was masturbating, when a Melchom appeared and kicked him because his face was too fat. Enraged by the dickfaggotry of this smarmy rich cuntknocker, Rudy punched through his own metal ribcage, withdrawing from it a machine gun chainsaw made of pain and Mother's lead pubic hairs. Rudy fired upon the Melchom with his ultimate weapon, but couldn't land a hit and the Melchom escaped, all the while singing about the futility of fleeing from death. Rudy's rage sublimated, driving him to rip off his skin and eat it. It was nothing but an anthropocentric lie, like the promises of holy books.
Rudy ran into the nearest town without his skin, making dubstep noises and scaring everyone for no reason at all.
"Rudy, put your skin back on!" Yelled Boomerang. He was having a mixed drink of molten lead and motorcycle blood.
"No! I am android, and proud!" Rudy stole Boomerang's drink and took in a huge mouthful, then spit the boiling lead all over the pathetic flesh creatures perusing the tavern. Rudy spit the motorcycle blood on the jukebox, mutating it into a metal child.
Alhazad hit the scene because he was hungry for metal child, so he ate Rudy's son because the moons touch each other inappropriately during the daytime. This made Rudy so mad, he puked liquid nitrogen then punched Alhazad's eye into a dimension made entirely out of lasers which queef bloody tornadoes. From this dimension flew Zed, wielding a laser tornado stick which was so well educated in foreclosure law, even black holes feared it. But these black holes were lies, for they were in actuality basins of pure sin which housed vast civilizations of false Elw with upside-down faces, whose cells were made of the very motorcycle blood Boomerang downed like super heroin for metal creatures.
Rudy punched his Terminator fists through Filgaia's crust and withdrew from its mantle a very large foam narwhal forged from the brains of the last dragons. He pierced Zed's taint with this narwhal, making Zed's eyes explode, which flung antimatter at Rudy's rusted gold heart. Rudy then noticed, just then, that he was raping the Andromeda Galaxy, and his hydraulics needed inspection.
Rudy's feet exploded due to catastrophic hydraulic failure, so he flew using the explosions which replaced his feet to Hiades, then kicked it in half, spilling its guts upon the Milky Way Galaxy, making it scream. Rudy then stuck his robotic dick into the kickfissure and jizzed mercury inside the cavity, turning the planet into a habitat ideal for metal creatures. Rudy was displeased with his work. He smashed Hiades with his face then blended it into a planetshake. Rudy returned to Filgaia, took a swig, then spit the planet juice into Zed's eyeless face. Zed laughed, then kicked Rudy where his nutsack would be if he was still wearing his meatsuit.
Zeikfried fell from the sky, landing upon Rudy. He was holding a metal placenta, which he punched through Zed's skull, avenging the death of his grandson at long last. Zed's metal dick exploded, which made Aura cry. Her tears seeped into Filgaia's crust, undermining its efforts to impress Cybertron. Filgaia became so depressed due to its unrequited love, it fell into a wormhole and flew straight through to the other side, to the 5th dimension. But the dimension was a joke, an effagy, for it was really just the stock market.
Sick of the stock market being ugly, Rudy melted Zed with the power of his mind, then shaped the molten slag into a dildo which resembled the Glumzanber but was spikier, like a morningstar crossed with a hedgehog, and brimmed with the agonized deaths of all the fallen metal demons. Using this weapon, Rudy bashed in Zeikfried's pointy head, then ripped it off and stuffed it up Boomerang's exhaust pipe. Rudy then punched straight through the space-time continuum and withdrew from the past his younger self, then flew upon this almighty superweapon through dimensions, wiping out entire galaxies because his guilty pleasure was masturbating to soap operas.
A challenger appeared. It was Super Saiyan 4 Gogeta. He charged at Rudy but missed, and was deftly slapped, which surprised him enough that he couldn't fight being bent over. Rudy laughed as he shoved the entire Holmcross up Gogeta's furry bosom, then kicked right through Gogeta's brain, which he pureed into a soup and fed to his Elw slaves to keep them oblivious to the potential of a higher existence. But the Elw revolted anyway, frying Rudy's CPU with an electromagnet made from the corpses of the metal demons slain by his past self, then threw his catatonic scrapheap body into a dungeon where it got gangbanged 24/7 by the ghosts of the metal demons and Gogeta.