Payment Accepted

January 9th, 2024

"So, you wanted to buy some info?" I asked, giving my new client a knowing grin. He was younger, maybe about my or Kirito's age. A few pimples on his face, uneasy fidgeting. This was probably the closest he'd gotten to a girl, and there was no way he was getting anywhere with me.

He shifted uneasily. Too easy. "Um, what can you tell me about the dungeon on the 45th Floor? Y'know, the, uh..."

I just snickered. There was only one dungeon he could be talking about, and I'm pretty sure I know why he wanted to get info about it. There was a reason the 45th Floor was the Succubus Floor. Dangerous, yeah, but in small doses...

Hey, don't judge, they had incubi too. I might not want to touch, but looking was pretty damn fun in its own right.

"So let's talk price," I purred. "With what I know, let's say... oh, 10000 Col." It wasn't worth anywhere near that amount, but he seemed desperate. Besides, it was good to start off with a ridiculous demand - it'll get me a sense of how he was gonna bargain. "Sound good?"

The kid winced. "That, uh... that's high. Is there any way I can... pay less?"

Ouch. I'd almost feel bad about fleecing this idiot. Except for the part where I didn't. "Well, that depends," I said easily. "One, you can buy the information piecemeal. In other words, you pay a portion of the total and I give you a portion of the information in proportion to what you paid. Only problem with that is that you have no guarantee of getting exactly what you want, since, well..." I trailed off, grinning widely as he sighed. Yep. "Alternatively, you tell me what you're willing to pay, and we go from there."

He sighed. "I only have... 2500 Col right now," he grumbled.

I didn't react to his pathetic admission because I already knew exactly how much he had on him. This wouldn't be the first time I'd dealt with worse. "Hm. Alright, then. What if I drop the price to 5000 Col and you owe me a favor?"

"What kind of favor?"

Hee hee hee. "Not that kind. Jeez, what kind of woman do you take me for?" He flushed. Too easy. "Basically, owing a favor means at some point in the future I'll call on you for information, or for money up to the remaining price, or whatever I want." Favors were dangerous, dangerous things and I loved it when people owed them to me.

"Can... can we make it 2500 and two favors?"

"Payment accepted." I smirked smugly. Honestly, what I knew was worth maybe 1500 at the most. But if you don't know how to bargain, don't try to deal with me. "Set up the deal, and we're good to go." Hanging his head in defeat, he swiped his menu open and sent me the money. I did my best not to snicker too loudly. "Right! I'll get in touch with you some point in the future when I need or want something. In the meantime, I'll give you what you want to know."

About fifteen minutes later, I'd given him the information on the Succubus' Bower, and he went off to either explore or enjoy himself in a bedroom. I didn't want to imagine it, so I was very grateful for the interruption when I got a private message from Kirito. It was pretty simple - he just wanted to meet for buying information. Focusing on just finances, he was absolutely loaded; not having to share money with a partner probably helped a lot with that, but I'm convinced he's managed to find some secret grinding spot he absolutely refuses to tell me about.

Stingy jerk.

I sent him a message to meet me on the 50th Floor; I had some shopping to do, and if I got lucky I'd have a little bit of extra spending money at the end of my meeting, so there was that. Stretching, I sighed and grumbled under my breath; I'd been sitting on this bench for at least thirty minutes and my rear end was getting sore. Stupid kid was probably having some personal time while I was on that bench, too, thinking about all those Succubi he was going to ogle this afternoon. Rrrrgh.

Despite enjoying the afternoon sun on the 30th Floor, I gritted my teeth and headed over to the Warp Gate. The 50th Floor was a lot more... cluttered than this floor, and the walls tended to close in after a while of being on the floor. I mean, it wasn't like I hated the floor - that was reserved for the 35th Floor. Seriously, screw the 35th Floor. Nothing should be that pink. Ever - but something about the tall buildings and narrow alleys just put me on edge. Still, the main parks were okay, and I sat down with my back to the fountain, crossing my legs. It was soothing enough, I guess.

It was about fifteen minutes of waiting, and eventually my patience was rewarded. "Hey, Argo."

I brightened and smiled as Kirito took a seat next to me. I hadn't seen him since I stopped him from going off to fight that Christmas bonus boss alone, and it was good to see him again. "Hey, Kirito. How's it going?"

"Pretty good," he said. "You?"

I leaned back, bracing myself with my arms as I grinned smugly. "Not bad. Someone just bought some information from me at about four or five times what it's actually worth, so there's that." He just sighed, and I let the subject drop. I didn't want him mad at me, especially since we were about to engage in business. "So! What can I do for you, Kirito?"

"Information on the Front Lines," he said.

I gave him a look and a sigh. "And here I thought you were finally going to screw up your courage and ask me on a date," I said, pretending to be disappointed. "And I was looking forward to it, too."

"Wait, what?"

"So, the Front Lines," I mused, completely ignoring both what I'd said and his goggle-eyed reaction. "I'm gonna say... 10000 Col for everything, or 500 piecemeal."

Kirito was staring at me, but he shook himself. "I don't think so, Argo. You just got done telling me how you overcharged someone, and then you try that?"

I pouted with good humor. "Oh come on, Kirito, you really think I'd do that to you?"

"Yes," he said flatly. Darn. "There's no way even information on the new floor is worth more than 3000 for the whole thing."

Let the bargaining commence.

At the end, we came to a traditional compromise - that is, neither of us ended up happy. Still, I ended up charging him exactly what it was worth, about 6000 Col for everything, so I was secretly satisfied. He was good at bargaining. Definitely not my equal, nobody was, but pretty good nonetheless. I respected him, and he respected me. It was a healthy working relationship. "Right, thank you, Argo," he sighed. "My wallet doesn't think the same, but your information was valuable."

"Always glad to make a deal," I said. "But anyway, when are you gonna take me up on one of those favors?"

"Sometime around never," he said dryly. "Owing you a favor is a nightmare equal to misallocating my skill points."

I just snickered. His dry deadpan was almost as fun as when he got flustered. "Such a shame. There're so many interesting things we could do together," I murmured, leaning against his back.

"Like what?" he asked easily.

"Hm..." I pretended to think. "No, you don't get to know for free. 100 Col."

"Pass," he said immediately.

"Jerk."

February 14th, 2024

Y'know, I probably should have seen this coming.

"Well?" the man demanded, getting uncomfortably close to me. I wrinkled my nose and leaned back, trying to get away from him.

"Ever heard of personal hygiene?" I asked, waving a hand in front of my nose.

He scowled. "Bitch." I just rolled my eyes; if he was going to insult me, couldn't he make it unique or interesting. "Look, I just wanna know if this one guy is a beta tester, that's all. I'll pay, I have the money. So sell me the damn information already!"

I scowled at him. "If you weren't an ignorant pig, you'd know that I don't sell that information. And, for your information, it'd cost more than 30000 Col even if I was selling it, Dreva." His eyes widened, and I smirked. "Oh, you thought I didn't do any research on my clients? I'm an info broker, you idiot, I know pretty much everything about you. So that means I know exactly how much money you have, and how much you're willing to pay." My eyes gleamed. "So get out of my face and make yourself scarce before I decide to ruin you."

He snarled under his breath and then leaned back. "Y'know, they told me you were an uptight little cunt, and I think they were right. So here's this for a counter-offer." He reached down and pulled out a lethal-looking knife. Shit. I knew I should have insisted that we met in a Safe Zone. "You give me the truth, and I don't stab you."

"H-hey, now," I said, trying to keep the small tremor out of my voice and not entirely succeeding. "Let's not do something we'll regret later, hm?"

"Maybe you should have thought about that before being a stuck-up little -"

"Is something going on here?"

I've never been so glad to see Kirito in my life. "Oh, hey, Kirito," I called. "Just finalizing a business deal. What're you doing?"

He looked at me - leaning away from a guy pulling a knife on me - and then at the guy; Dreva's eyes were darting back and forth. "I was just about to head out for some grinding."

I nodded. "Oh, Dreva, this is my friend Kirito. He's the Black Swordsman!" I added, watching with a smug grin as the color drained from his face. Everyone had heard of the Black Swordsman by now. "Kirito, this is Dreva. He was just leaving - he wanted some information I can't sell, so..."

Dreva looked back and forth between me and Kirito, and eventually he sheathed the knife. He stormed away, snapping an angry, "Bitch," before disappearing into the underbrush.

I looked at Kirito, and he looked at me; we stood in silence for a while. Eventually, I sighed in relief. "Thanks, Kirito."

"No problem," he sighed. "I'm just glad I showed up when I did. You looked like you were in trouble."

I laughed airily. "Pfft, me, in trouble? You know I'm never in trouble." He just gave me a steady look, and I sighed. "Yeah, he pulled a knife on my after I refused to identify someone as a beta tester or not. Probably would have done something if you hadn't shown up. I owe you one."

He grinned. "So the Rat, notorious for squeezing blood out of stones, finally owes me a favor."

I rolled my eyes. "Typical favor rules. I'll do anything you need so long as it's not, well, anything I'm super opposed to. Answer a question, yes. Answer a question about beta testers, no."

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna ask that," he said with a small smile. "Actually, I have something in mind already."

"Oh?" Well, that would certainly explain why he showed up so fortuitously - he was searching for me in the first place.

"Yeah. You remember that one quest that showed up last Valentine's Day? The one that requires a party of two?"

I nodded slowly. I knew the one he was talking about - I hadn't completed it personally, but I'd talked to a few of my contacts to get the information on it. I wasn't so arrogant as to think I knew everything - even though I frequently did - and part of that meant I needed to know the people that did. "And I'm guessing you didn't do it because you're apparently allergic to being in parties."

"It's not a hundred percent because of that," he said, looking away. "It's just... you know what that place is like. And I couldn't exactly ask Asuna to join me, and going with Klein would just be awkward..."

"And I'm your third and final friend on your Friend's List," I sighed, finishing it up. "Y'know, Kirito, if you were asking me out on a date, you could just say so."

The reason that it was locked to a party of two? Because the quest was basically a date. The two players had to help out Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love, and, well, it's Aphrodite. Two plus two equals four.

He flushed a little bit. "It's not like that," he protested. Well, okay, then. That hurts my pride a bit. "I just really want to get the quest reward." I might not be actively looking, but that didn't mean I didn't have self-respect.

Well... I guess I did owe him a favor. "Fine," I sighed. "I'll meet you at the quest-giver in a few hours, okay?"

"Thanks, Argo," he said with a sheepish grin. "I didn't know who else to ask."

I snorted, giving him an arch look. "When you're taking a girl on a date, you really shouldn't say she was your last choice."

He blushed again. "I - I wasn't -"

"Relax, Kirito," I said with a grin. "I'm just teasing. I'll see you then."

...This was a terrible idea. It was only an hour later, and I was already regretting this.

The premise of the quest was fairly simple: Aphrodite was trying to sneak off and cheat on her husband with Ares, and she needed an excuse to be on the date. Surprise of surprise, the two-man party was that excuse - we were sent off on a bunch of typical date-like things, like going window shopping, eating crepes, stuff like that. It was definitely a flimsy excuse, but from what I remembered about Greek mythology everyone knew about the affair anyway. Still, a reward was a reward, and so we accepted the quest. I'd never actually been on a date myself, and by the way he was acting neither had Kirito.

But that was the point of having the other 'couple' there: we could watch what Aphrodite and Ares did and then mimic it. "Open wide," I said, offering Kirito a spoonful of ice cream. It was very embarrassing - for both parties, if Kirito's fierce blush was any indicator. The only reason I was doing this was because I owed him a favor, I kept telling myself. Not that it really helped much.

Mainly because, all things equal, I was enjoying myself. Back in the real world, I hadn't met any guys that interested me. Either they weren't smart enough to keep my attention, or they were put off by my all-knowing behavior and stayed away. It didn't really help matters that I wasn't all that interested in them either, since a lot of my time was taken up by whatever game I was busy learning everything about at the moment. So imagine my surprise when I realized that I was actually having fun on this 'date'. I might even want to do it again.

I shook my head and tried to ignore that last thought. Being an info broker meant I had to be impartial, no matter what I wanted. Having a boyfriend would kinda screw that up big time. Still, Kirito and I muddled through somehow, I guess... We managed to make it through to the end without screwing up, at any rate, though it came kinda close when Aphrodite dragged me into a clothing store and had Ares and Kirito give their opinions on new outfits. Some of those things were basically string!

At the end, Kirito and I were walking, hand-in-hand at the 'suggestion' of Aphrodite - it's never a good idea to ignore a god. "Aw, you two look so cute together," Aphrodite cooed. It was almost strange, seeing her like she was a regular person and not a goddess. Almost as weird as having to dress in the clothing provided for us - it was regular street clothes, not the armor and weapons we always wore. Seeing Kirito shift uncomfortably to try to get his sword to lie correctly when he didn't have a sword was a little funny every time it happened. As for Aphrodite, the only hint to her actual identity was in her eyes; they were definitely not human, the way her pupils were the darkness of space with glimmers of stars in them. "Well, we had a great time, didn't we, babe?"

"You know it," Ares said. Where Aphrodite was femininity incarnate, all soft curves and beautiful clothes, the war god went for the bad boy look. Shades, leather jacket... I wouldn't be surprised if he had a motorcycle parked somewhere just for flavor. "You think they earned their reward?"

"Of course!" Aphrodite turned and gave us a wink and blew a kiss at us. Beside her, Ares dug through his pockets, snorted, and then waved a hand, sending a small wave of red energy toward us.

Despite expecting it, I closed my eyes reflexively as the twin waves of power filled me. After a small moment where I felt like I could do anything, go anywhere, without limit, the surge died back to my baseline. And wasn't that interesting? My baseline had risen ever so slightly. Frowning, I opened my menu and checked my stats. The reward for the quest varied depending on how well the pair did; if the two players were just going through the motions, they got the worst reward, and the reward scaled with how well the players played along with Aphrodite.

Kirito and I managed to get the best reward possible. Huh. How about that.

At least I knew why he wanted the reward - Ares's boost in particular was a flat increase to pretty much every stat, and that was invaluable when stat points were hard to come by. What was better, it didn't take up an equipment slot. We'd basically been blessed by two gods. "Thank you, Lady Aphrodite, Lord Ares," I said smoothly. "We were happy to help." Kirito opened his mouth to say something, and I jabbed him in the side. He closed it, giving me a hurt look, and I rolled my eyes at him. I just know he was going to say something stupid and piss one of them off. "I hope we didn't impose."

"Oh, no," Aphrodite said. "I'm always happy to help young love!" Kirito and I froze before awkwardly letting go of each other's hands, letting them fall to the side. "Well, I'd better be off before that ugly troll gets suspicious. Bye!" With another kissy face, she disappeared. Ares, with a dry chuckle, disappeared a moment later.

Kirito stared at where they were. "Well. That was something." Then he shook his head. "Anyway, thanks, Argo."

"Yeah, no problem." At least the payment was accepted and I don't owe him anything anymore.

I tried to ignore that little voice in the back of my head that said that if this was the outcome of owing him a favor, maybe favors weren't so bad. That voice wasn't very professional.

March 14th, 2024

"So," Asuna said with a small smile on her face, "when did you start dating Kirito?"

I sighed in relatively muted disgust. "Oh, Asuna," I said, "I'm not dating him."

"You meet every Saturday for lunch, though."

"It's a business meeting. He's paying me for information."

An eyebrow quirked up. "And for lunch."

I squirmed. "That's just... part of the deal?" I offered. When the other eyebrow joined the first, I sighed. "In all seriousness, Asuna, I can't date anyone. It's my job to be impartial and sell anything to anyone, you know that. Dating someone would compromise that."

She smiled knowingly. "That's not stopping you, though."

"You keep saying that," I snorted. "It's not going to change that I can't go out with him." Sighing, I stood up. "Now, I do have a meeting with a client - that isn't Kirito!" I added quickly when she started to giggle. "Honestly..." I stormed away from our little cafe table, muttering darkly to myself. I was the one that teased others, not the other way around. It was decidedly irritating when the tables were turned. I took some small solace in the fact that I stuck her with the bill.

The meeting was just to sell some idiot something about a dungeon I couldn't care less about. It was only really interesting when Kirito was the one buying information, and by this point I'd gotten used to only seeing him on Saturdays. Still, once a week was better than never, and I had taken to checking my Friend's List fairly regularly just to make sure the idiot was still alive. His name hadn't disappeared yet, and I was grateful for that. More and more I found myself waiting for Saturday to arrive, and when it finally rolled around I was torn between being happy that I could see him, nervous about seeing him, or just satisfied that the uneasy feeling in my stomach loosened when I saw -

Oh. Oh fuck.

I'm in love with Kirito.

...Shit, this might actually be bad. I've had an admittedly small crush on the guy ever since beta test. In my defense, he was very physically attractive back then, and I knew the difference between physical lust and emotional love. I might not have been interested in a relationship, but I could still appreciate a pretty boy or three.

And then the whole Death Game thing rolled around and we started getting closer, I guess. That's probably why I didn't notice it until just now. In addition to being kinda cute in real life, he's got this... aura around him, I want to say. Something that just attracts people - which, for a loner like him, is kinda weird. Still, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Asuna's got a crush on him too. They're always talking at the boss meetings about strategy and stuff like that.

Why did I fall in love with him? I can't really say, I think. If I had to guess, it was probably because he took everything as it came. He wasn't turned off by my manner because he didn't care in the slightest. And, I guess, in some ways he's just as smart as I am. I haven't seen anyone as driven as him when he's trying to get his Sword Skills perfect. The way he's always ready with a quip or dry comment, especially when I'm trying to mess with him... He complements me perfectly.

And, I'm not gonna lie - he's looks pretty good in black.

"Oh, hey Argo."

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. I looked up to see Kirito standing there, looking at me. "Kirito! What're you doing here?"

"100 Col," he replied automatically. Despite myself, I grinned and shook my head. I'd taught him well. "You?"

"100 Col," I laughed. The prices were the same so therefore they canceled each other out. Zero sum game. "Payment accepted. Just... thinking about something that Asuna told me."

"Huh. I just got a message from her. Something about what would happen if I broke your heart or something like that."

I closed my eyes and tried not to swear. Damn it, Asuna.

Well, not swear out loud.

He scratched his cheek, looking adorably confused. "Do you have any idea what she's talking about?"

I sighed and patted the bench next to me. "Take a seat, this might take a while." He did as I asked, and I stared off into the distance. I was completely and totally lost. What did I do? Call Asuna and ask her for help? Or do I just bring up the subject with him and hope I don't screw this up? Ugh. I'm not used to not knowing what to do. "Um... This might be a weird conversation, but stay with me on it, okay?"

"Okay."

I took a deep breath and shook my head. "Y'know," I said softly, "I thought that I'd end up single for a long time. Nobody really caught my interest, or kept it long enough for anything serious." I sighed. "And I was okay with that. I was satisfied with how things were. Sure I wouldn't ever have a boyfriend, but I didn't really need or want one."

"You're using the past tense," he observed quietly. "That's changed?"

"It has."

He sat silently while I tried to find the words to continue - but before I could figure out what to say, he cleared his throat. "It's me, isn't it?" Clever, clever Kirito. Too clever by half. I wanted to ease into this, but he just forced me into the deep end.

I bowed my head, hiding in my hood. "Yeah. It's you." I huddled in my hood. "Honestly, I really shouldn't be talking about this stuff. I'm an info broker and I have to be impartial. That means I can't have any strong ties... to people like..." My voice was starting to waver, and rather than let it break I just stopped talking. "I'm sorry," I said after the lump in my throat went away, and stood up to leave. "I'll just -"

"Argo," he said, and I paused. "I want to buy some information." His voice was serious. "Do you want to go out with me?"

I turned and bit my lip. I really shouldn't keep selling to him, after what I'd just told him. The best thing to do, to maintain impartiality, would be to refer him to a different info broker, one without the personal attachment. I couldn't guarantee my price would be fair - my pride demanded that I set a fair price for my information, but if I couldn't be sure about that...

You know what?

Fuck impartiality.

"I can't answer that," I whispered. "The price for that -"

He interrupted me easily, moving close. His reflexes were up to par; I didn't even have a chance to gasp before he was leaning forward and kissing me. Part of me was taking notes, but it was a small portion - and the rest of my mind was purring with enjoyment. Kirito was actually pretty good at this whole kissing thing. When he finally pulled away, I let out a breathless murmur, the only sound I could make. "You were saying?" he asked, and there was definitely a tone of smug satisfaction.

"Payment accepted," I whispered, then went in for more.

Yay!

So this is just some stupid Kirito/Argo fluff I wrote in like a week to celebrate Valentine's Day. A reader got in contact with me and asked for some Kirito/Argo stories, and I figured 'Why not?'. (This is why not. This. This right here.)

It's not much in way of character development or anything, I wrote it more as an exercise to see if I could nail Argo (HER VOICE. Pervs.) and I… kinda succeeded? Maybe? Kinda? Meh, whatever. It was cute.

I tried to give the story a vague character arc while maybe making it believable that she would fall in love with Kirito. In my opinion, it was okay. A little quick, but this was a one-shot, it's designed to be quick. I think that maybe if I wanted to make it more believable or expand the story, I'd shift it around a little bit. Have Argo and Kirito go into a business of sorts together, working together closely for a while, make the bonds both more obvious and evident. As it is, she doesn't really know why she fell for him and it's not really explained well enough for my tastes.

Eh, whatever. Happy Valentine's Day!