Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, cause believe me, if I do, what happened to Malec in CoLS would never have happened.
This is it. Alec's life is over as the only thing that ever kept him alive walked away from him. 'Mag...Magnus...don't...don't do this to me.' he whispered, eyes staring longingly after the warlock's lone figure. Wishing all he might that he'll turn back, just this once. When he will look at him once again, and that's all he needed. One last look at his spiked hair, cat like eyes that stared into his soul for so many times. The plush lips that gave him his first kiss, a kiss he'll never forget. He didn't see the tears falling from the warlocks eyes, no. Magnus won't let anyone see.
No one could know that there is nothing he wanted more than running back to Alec and have that frail boy back in his arms, where it's safe and warm. Stupid warlock, the voice inside his head said, you just walked away from the only creature you've truly loved in 800 years, the best thing that ever happened to you. But he couldn't turn back. He couldn't because the same time that Alec has brought him joy and made him feel alive that no one ever would, he hurt him. Betrayed his trust, while trying to make him mortal without telling him. Granted, he didn't succeed, but the damage is done. He couldn't trust him ever again. How are you suppose to stay with someone when you can't trust them? Maybe we can, the voice sound again, maybe we can overcome this. He tried his hardest to make the thought go away, but if he's honest, that's all he cold think about on his way home. He flopped on his bed once he got home, a home without Alec. Ready for a sleepless night. I miss you, Alec.
God, I can't sleep without him, Alec thought. Why am I so stupid why did I do that why. He kept thinking over and over again while tears streamed down his face. He went into the shower, trying to clear his head. He was grabbing for a towel when he realized he hadn't brought one in. He shouted with instinct 'Magnus, can you please bring me a towel?' but then he realized, there would be no answer. No one would ever answer him now. He started sobbing, letting the water wash away his tear stains.
Magnus hastily rubbed away the tear tracks on his face, ready to cover his face with a layer of foundation. He put on his usual make up, ready for the day when he shouted towards his room 'Alexander, love, how do I look?' he kept waiting when he finally realize there will be no one coming through that door, telling him he looked gorgeous even without make up on. He sat down on the cold tile floor while clutching his heart. While the tears can be easily hidden, there'll be nothing. Nothing in the world that could fill that emptiness, heal the gash and close the wound that Alexander Lightwood that ever made in his heart.
There came the millionth knock, this time the voice belongs to Clary, not any of his siblings, whom Alec knew were extremely worried about him; but he just couldn't handle it right now, couldn't bear telling them what happened. He knew that if he does, it'll be like reliving the moment once again, and that, is what he could not bear. Alec liked Clary once he realized he's not in love with Jace and instead Magnus. Yes, breaking up doesn't mean he stopped loving him. And he never will. 'Alec?' Cary's soft voice came through the door. 'Can I come in?' the concern was clear in his voice. Alec put on a shirt and reluctantly opened the door. From Clary's gasp and her slightly horrified face, the boy is sure that he looked like crap. Well more than he usually does. He led her into the room and stood in front of the window, looking at the people oblivious to the existence of the institute and people inside it. 'What do you want' he gruffed. He is not ready to go out and party or whatever it is that they want him to do.
'I'm just checking to see if you're ok. None of us have seen you since you came back. Jace and Issy got worried when they hear you crying, what's wrong? Another fight with Magnus?' Alec gave the girl a humorless laugh.
'There won't be any fights anymore clary. We...we broke up.'
He closed his eyes and sighed. Clary gasped once again, she simply couldn't believe it.
'But...but you guys were... What has he done I'm sure it's not that bad to cause a break up. Tell me Alec.' she pleaded softly.
'It's not his fault, its mine ok? Don't blame him. He has done nothing but gave me strength, supporting me whenever I need it. He's nothing but perfect. Tell me Clary, how did I ever deserve him. Look at me; I'm here crying uselessly when he's probably having another party for his new freedom. How can he ever fall in love with a coward like me?! A life without me in it, finally.' He murmured.
Clary cannot stand the pain in the boy's eyes. Ones that shines whenever he talked about the warlock. 'I'm sure it's not like that.' She affirmed. 'What's not?'
'You're not a coward Alec, you're one of the bravest people I know. And Magnus is definitely not partying or having any kind of fun at all. He would be as miserable as you are right now.' seh spoke with a confidence tone. 'H...how do you know? He's the one who broke up with me.' Alec tried his very hardest not to sound bitter.
'Because, I may not know much about Magnus past or Magnus at all. But I can tell Alec. I can tell that when he looks at you, you'd thought you're the best gift ever given to him. He loves you. He loves you so much that right now, he's wallowing the same time as you do.' She stood up and left the room after she made that speech, leaving the words, he loves you, he loves you Alec, echoing inside the room and the boy's head.
'Stop trying to make me pet you.' Magnus hissed at his cat. 'That's Alec's thing. And now he's gone. Yes you heard me mister. He's never coming back because I, The guy who feed you and clean your litter box, yes me. Broke up with him. So he hates me. And he probably hates you too. Because you're mine. So get that in your head right now.' Chairman, however magical that he may be, is not listening, and keep grinding against the warlocks chest, begging for a bit of affection. 'Really?! You're not giving up? Ok, if you miss him so much, go see him yourself. You know the way.' He's again comfortable when his cat finally stopped. And then comes dinner time and the cat is nowhere to be found, Magnus even searched under his bloody bed. Chairman never misses on dinner 'Chairman? Chairman meow? Honey? Where are you it's dinner time!' Then he realized his front door is slightly ajar. He did run off. Ran off to Alec. Great, he thought in his head sarcastically, my cat loves Alec more than he loves me. And he's smart enough to go to the place where he likes. Just fabulous.
Alec heard a meow that definitely did not come from Church, who's sound asleep in his lap. Then he saw where the noises come from. 'Chairman?!' he exclaimed. 'Wh..What how did you even find your way here? Who let you in?!' After getting over the initial shock, Alec soon realized what this could mean. 'Is Magnus ok? Is...Is he...' He could not bring himself to finish that sentence is he dead? The question echoed inside his head. No, no, no. He couldn't be. He must've felt it if he is. And there's no reason for him to kill himself now, not after years after years of heartbreak. Trivial, Alec had to remind himself, I'm nothing but trivial, one of the many lovers Magnus had had and if the last ten billion didn't kill Magnus, certainly a shadowhunter cannot harm the warlock. So why is chairman here? He picked the cat up and stared into his eyes, as soon as he realized how ridiculous he looked, he quickly put the cat down again. How silly of me, I expected to find the answer by having a staring contest with a cat. The movement woke Church and as soon he spotted the other cat they both started hissing at each other. In fear that Chairman is going to get hurt, 'cause no offense, but Church is one hell of an aggressive cat, Alec picked him up and put him on his bed. Church just raised his head and left the room with his head held high. He looked at Chairman who looked perfectly comfortable on his bed and once Alec is sure that the cat has no sign of leaving his little area, he went to get changed and ready for bed. Sure enough, the cat is still there when he returned and even if it's a poor substitution of who Alec normally have in bed with him, he climbed into bed with the feline, a painful reminder of what he had lost and shall never be found again.
AN: Thanks for reading! Please review and let me know how I did, it's the first time I write for this fandom. xx