A/N For all you dear anons who requested Rae and Finn's first time fics here we go… This has put up a bit of fight, I've deleted, rewritten, and deleted again so I will let you lot be the judges of the final product. Some bits I like, some bits just would not play ball!

There should be a road map for life, or at the very least a bloody pamphlet,

filling you in on the stuff you really should be clued up on. Instead you are expected to stumble through life with only the wishy washy advice from people who know little more about stuff than you do yourself.

Take sex for example, and the cliché 'you don't have to do anything until you're ready' speech you get from the bumbling teacher giving the sex education class that day. Right, fine, great, but how the fuck do you know when you are ready? Nobody seems to have an answer for that.

Chloe just sighed dreamily, "you jus' know Rae."

Izzy giggled, "are you and Finn, you know?!" she smiled, eyes wide.

"No!" Rae shook her head, feeling a blush creep up her neck, "I jus' wondered how did y' know you were ready?"

"Me and Chop haven't done it yet," Izzy confided in a girlish whisper, "we're waiting, so it'll be special."

Rae attempted to cover her surprise at this news, but this led her to another of those annoying clichés. What was supposed to happen to make that first time special? Would she have to go out and bulk-buy candles and rose petals? Sure it was nice to fantasise about, but in reality?

She could hardly go back to the library to look for information there, not with that nosy cow reporting everything back to her mother. Rae shuddered at the imagined argument with her Mum, a conversation that would probably end up with her being grounded under lock and key so that she didn't end up doing something that she might regret and end up breaking again.

She wondered about talking to Kester. They talked at length about most other things including Finn, but she never seemed to be able to squeeze the words out. 'Am I ready for sex?' Even thinking them made her feel stupid.

She didn't know why, maybe safety in numbers, but when she finally plucked up the courage to speak to Finn about it, they were sitting together in a corner of the pub. "Finn," she began, she'd never felt so nervous but she needed to know, "how did you know you were ready, y'know the first time you…?"

Finn almost spat out the mouthful of beer he had just gulped down. "You what?" he asked rubbing the back of his hand over his mouth.

"Never mind," Rae felt too embarrassed to repeat her question, she couldn't believe she'd asked it in the first place. Finn plopped his drink back down on the table, pulling his cigarette from behind his ear and lighting it. He dragged in a lung full, watching as the white smoke unfurled from his mouth as he exhaled. "Erm," he started shakily, shrugging his shoulders. His first time had been kinda weird, neither of them had known what they were doing, but everybody else was doing it so… "I don't know, it jus' sorta happened" he answered honestly. They sat there in silence for a few moments, Rae cursing herself for asking. She didn't want to think about Finn with other (prettier, sexier) women.

The night it finally happened was inconspicuous enough. Finn had come over to Rae's house to listen to some new tunes. When he had arrived at her front door Rae felt her breath catch, he was devastating to look at, even more so than usual. His hair was slightly mussed from where he had pulled his helmet off, his black leather jacket covered a grey t-shirt beneath, and as she followed him up the stairs to her bedroom, she thanked the heavens as her eyes were drawn to the fit of his jeans.

As they had fallen into the habit of doing, 'listening to tunes' quickly turned into an epic make-out session. When you find yourself in a tangle of arms and legs, closer to someone than you've ever been before in your life, tongue caressing tongue, breath mingling with breath, touch mirroring touch at what point do you decide just to give it all up to that other person.

That night for Rae it was the sure knowledge that there was nobody she would trust more than Finn to guide her on her path to womanhood. Also there was a moment when Finn's hand drifted just that little further up her thigh than normal, which pretty much sealed the deal for her.

Some how Finn held onto his senses and had begun to pull away. Instinctively Rae fisted his t-shirt in her hand keeping him close, murmuring "don't stop." The words dissolving into the air around them seemed to have the exact opposite effect she had desired as Finn pulled sharply back as if stung, "you wha'?" he asked. "Don't stop," she repeated quietly, almost just mouthing the words so that they ghosted across her lips. She swallowed down the bubbling fear of rejection. "I don't want you stop," she repeated again trying to make sure she was being clear.

Rae watched as some cloud of emotion passed over Finn's face, too quick for her to pinpoint, he caught her lips with his for a gentle kiss. "Are – are you sure?" Rae tugged at his t-shirt pulling him back towards her, kissing him deeply. He returned her kiss, passionately pouring everything he would like to say into it.

Piece by piece articles of clothing were gradually removed and flung forgotten to the floor. Rae had closed her eyes tightly as Finn had peeled her trousers from her, exposing her scars. She fought the urge to cover them with her hands as he had soothed and reassured her with sweet kisses and muttered words. Hands and mouths discovered and explored previously uncharted territories. Finn had carefully guided her when she had whispered into his ear that she didn't know what she was doing.

In the end it had been messy, with a lot of awkward fumbling and touching, and feelings of what the hell am I doing on Rae's part. But neither would have changed any of it for the world because for them, in that moment, it had been perfect.

Rae looked at Finn who was gently dozing next to her a small smile playing on his lips. His arms were wrapped tightly around her and Rae knew she could never have any regrets about what just happened. She would happily lose control with him over and over again.