Title: Flyboys and Fertility
Rating: PG
Timeframe: A few years after Survivor's Quest
Characters: Leia, Han, Jaina, Luke, Mara
Genre: Vignette, humor
Summary: Luke discovers a surprise
Notes: In response to the following challenge:

Challenge: In a universe with no Vong, where Mara doesn't have that stupid disease (!), write Mara letting Luke know that she's pregnant. Except she can't tell him straight out...it has to be done in some way that Luke realizes it for himself. Can be funny or sweet (even sappy!).

Must include the words: momentous, fertile, stimulating, abundant, the phrase swollen like a Hutt (bonus points if Luke says it and Mara doesn't kill him!)

Flyboys and Fertility

Few things in life frightened Leia Organa Solo. She'd been in a position of political authority most of her life. She had fought and won a Rebellion, married a scoundrel of a flyboy, and raised three children. At this point in her life, she felt relatively equipped to handle whatever fate or the Force sent her way.

Except this. She wasn't ready for this.

Staring down at the disk on the basin, she gripped the cool edges for support. It was a mistake. Had to be.

"Han?" she called into the corridor. "Could you come here a minute?"

He leaned into the 'fresher, "Yeah?"

"Look at that," she pointed to the offensive object. "Do you see that?"

As if she had to ask. All the color had drained completely from his face, "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes, it is," she grimaced.

"Where'd you get it?"

"In the waste canister. I dropped my broach and," she swallowed. "It's not mine."

Han swayed, grasping the doorframe for support. "...kill him," he mumbled. "I'll kill him…"

Leia had seen that look in his eyes before and felt a sudden pang of trepidation for the man in question. "Now let's not jump to conclusions here. I'm sure there's an explanation."

"Oh, there's an explanation, all right!" He stormed into the bedroom, reaching for his belt and blaster.

"Han, please!" Leia stepped in front of him, blocking his exit. "Let's just talk to her calmly. We don't need to add any stress to the situation."

With obvious effort, he exhaled and met her gaze, "Fine. Where is she?"

"In the office with Luke." Leia tucked the culprit into her pocket and they made their way across the apartment to find the two Jedi pouring over a datapad.

Jaina had just accepted a position at the Jedi academy to teach Beginning Flight Combat and Han and Leia waited not-so-patiently as she and Luke reviewed the schedule.

"It won't be as stimulating as sims," Luke conferred quietly. "But the younger students need the classroom basics, first. Next semester, we'll plan for another time slot after Mara's Advanced Weapons class."

"Sounds good," Jaina agreed.

"Ahem," Leia cleared her throat in the doorway. "Sorry, Luke, but can we talk to Jaina for a minute?"

"Sure," he answered. Leia could tell he felt her tension and smiled tightly.

Luke started to step around them, but Han grabbed his arm. "Don't leave," the older man's eyes narrowed. "I'll need you to help me hide the body."

Leia shot him a warning look before seating herself carefully in front of her daughter. "How are you feeling, honey?" she started in what she hoped was a casual tone.

"Good," Jaina answered, eyes darting to her father and back again. "What's going on?"

"That's what we want to know," Han gritted through clenched teeth.

Leia turned and frowned. "Go on, you two," she shooed them away. "This is girl talk."

"Girl talk?" Han sputtered. "But-"

"Come on, Han," Luke had picked up on Leia's silent plea and pulled him from the room. "Let's go to the kitchen. Are you hungry?"

Their voices trailed off and Leia turned back to Jaina. Reaching across for the young woman's hands, she cradled them reassuringly in her own. "You know that you can come to your father and I about anything. Anything at all. We're here for you, sweetheart."

Jaina nodded, "I know, Mom. Thanks." Leaning forward, she furrowed her eyebrows at the door as the kitchen door swung open with a crash.

"…man. You hear me? A dead man!" Han's voice reverberated across the common area. "Fracking fertile flyboy…."

Squeezing Jaina's hands gently to distract her, Leia continued, "So…is there something you want to tell me? I promise we'll-"

This time they both turned as Han stalked down the corridor answering what must have been a question from Luke, "…Fel's funeral, that's what!..."

Jaina cocked an eyebrow, "What's he talking about?"

Han could stand it no longer and barged into the office with Luke on his heels, "This!" he pointed to Leia's pocket. "Show her….that…thing…"

With trembling hands, Leia pulled the disk from her pocket and laid it on the desk.

Jaina looked down, nonplussed, "What is it?"

Leia was starting to get annoyed - this was no time for games. "It's a home pregnancy test, Jaina. I found it in the 'fresher. And it's positive." Jaina squinted down at the disk. "And it's not mine," Leia finished.

Through their bond, Leia felt a wave of surprise, concern and reassurance from Luke, but she was too intent on her daughter to acknowledge it. Pursing her lips, she watched Jaina's expression change from one of confusion to understanding.

"Wait," a subtle flush began to creep across her daughter's cheeks. "You don't think-" Jaina jumped up, retreating from the desk. "No, Mom," she protested. "It's not mine!"

"And what do you mean 'Fel's funeral'?" she speared her father with an indignant stare, flushing even redder at the implication. "Dad!"

Leia rose to face her, "What do you mean, it's not yours?"

"It's not!" Jaina stood her ground. "It has be Aunt Mara's."

Three mouths gaped and answered in unison, "What?"

"Aunt Mara and I went shopping this morning," Jaina explained calmly. "Now that I think about it, she did stop in the personal health section of the store and she used the 'fresher before she left. It has to be hers."

"It's Mara's?" Han looked positively dizzy with relief. "That's wonderful, sweetheart!" Crossing the room in a single step, he pulled Leia into an embrace, crushing their daughter between them.

"…Dad….can't….breathe…" Jaina gasped.

"Hello!" a familiar voice called from the entryway. "Jaina? I forgot one of my bags…"

"MARA!" the Solo family descended on their startled guest, chattering all at once.

Mara backed against the wall, "What did I-?"

"You saved an innocent man's life!"

"…found your pregnancy test…"

"He thought it was Jaina's…"

"…was going to kill Jag!"

"We're so happy for you!" Leia beamed.

But Mara's attention was already riveted to the room's other and, until now, silent occupant. Biting her bottom lip, she shrugged and mouthed the word: Surprise.

"See Han?" Luke smiled slowly, his eyes glowing with pride and never veering from his wife's. "It'll be Mara that's swollen like a Hutt – not Jaina."

"Who's the 'fertile flyboy' now?" Jaina murmured under her breath, glancing up at her placated father.

Sensing the couple's need to privately acknowledge the momentous occasion, Leia motioned for her family to leave the room. Glancing over her shoulder, Leia felt tears sting her eyes as her brother approached his bride with reverence and wrapped her in an abundant embrace.

Mara clutched him tightly. "I was going to tell you tonight, but...well," she looked up at him, caressing his face with bright eyes. "Happy?"

Luke nodded, pressing his forehead against hers, "It's the happiest moment of my life."

-End-