The Lonely
A songfic based on the song "The Lonely" by Christina Perri.
(Ally's POV)
2 a.m., where do I begin?
Crying off my face again
I walk inside my abandoned house, the house that now looks like the devil itself lives there. Everything about it just screams, "Loser lowlife lives here." The house is all dirty despite my constant maintaining, and everything is just rundown and old. I look at the clock. 2 AM. Like always. I look in the grimy mirror, and simply see the blotchy, red faced girl with swollen eyes that's become me. Well, when your life becomes a living nightmare, I guess that's somewhat an excuse to cry a lot.
The silent sounds of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed
You might think it's strange, but after being so accustomed to loneliness, I can quite distinctively hear it. It's a sorrowful sound, one that's so terrible, yet so great at the same time. It follows me everywhere, and comes out in everything I do. Even when I sleep, the loneliness's sounds ring and follow me.
I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well
I'd always wanted to be that type of girl that wouldn't be afraid to be crazy, rebellious, and just have fun in life. I'd always wanted to have people love me for my personality. While I was Austin's only prized songwriter, I felt like I was slowly morphing into that type of girl. Of course, when Annabelle came along, Austin threw me down and chased after her. Her songs are terrible crap, but that doesn't stop the rest of Team Austin and all of America and even Brazil from thinking her songs are light years ahead of mine!
I'm still Austin's songwriter, but I'm no longer the primary and important one. I'm the one he sometimes reluctantly comes to when precious Annabelle has the dreadful case of writer's block. Funny, when I had writer's block, he just kept pushing me to write something.
I used to be a funny, dorky, and cute in that 'how silly' way. Now, I'm more of a secluded, quiet, and anti-social freak, as people like to put it. I'm always the source of gossip now, everyone's always wondering what happened to me. Some people like Tilly claim, "Psh, it's just always been there. It was just hidden while she wrote for Austin."
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I can dance somewhat better now, and quite gracefully for me. Considering I'm the world's biggest klutz, I dance pretty good for klutz standards. Being me, I always think I do terrible, and that so many people could do it better. Also, I feel like, "If someone else were me, they'd probably be better at being me." To support that theory, the lonely always seems to assume the shape of me in the mirror, and dance as gracefully and professionally as Poreotics, making me feel crappy in comparison as usual.
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in to take my heart again
You know that mother lullaby, "Rock a by baby?" That song always pops into my mind when I feel especially low for me. It just reminds me of how even though my life sucks, it's sucked more before, and that I shouldn't be wallowing when my life is slightly better now. Plus, now I'm stronger and wiser. I know to protect my heart and guard it well. Otherwise, someone might toy with it, and then get bored with it and shatter me. So, I let go my human feelings, and let my inner lonely in to morph my heart to stone. Everlasting and durable.
Too afraid to go inside
For the pain of one more loveless night
I see the boarded up Sonic Boom, and always mean to venture in, but I'm always reluctant and timid to do so. That place holds far TOO many happy memories. It'll just remind me of the pain of having no one to be happy and love, whether it's family love, friendly love, or love love.
But the loneliness will stay with me
And hold me 'til I fall asleep
The loneliness is the only thing I can trust now. I know that my loneliness will never abandon me, and be so cruel as my 'friends' were to do so. If they were my friends, they wouldn't have ridiculed my attempts to be fun, and constantly put me down. No, I wasn't so oblivious to it. I just held on because I constantly hoped that maybe they would regret all that putting down and ridiculing. But my loneliness will be the mother I grew up without, and constantly keep me in a soothing, loving embrace.
(Now the chorus starts up again, so I'll just skip that…)
Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
My life story lays in broken, jagged pieces. My life is crappy, and so ill-active that it barely lives. You can only barely hear the dull thumpity thump of the heartbeat of the story, and even then, only a few with exceptionally well hearing can hear it. The shattered pieces surround me like glass surrounding the area where it just broke down. It reminds me that everyone eventually has those moments where they've had too much of life, and life just shatters them.
Where there once was love
Now there's only me and the lonely
My house used to have love. In my early adolescent years, when my mom was still around, the three of us would live the life of that stereotypical happy family. Then my mother wanted to pursue her dreams, and who was my father to stop her when he clearly loved her so dear?
"I'll be back soon, I promise," she'd constantly reassure. Clearly, soon is a long time for her…
Then there was only my father and I. At first, it felt so chillingly cold to feel the emptiness, the huge gaping hole in my family. But slowly and steadily, it sealed up, and we became a happy family.
Then, Trish came, and helped pull me out of that canyon of sorrow.
Finally, Dez and Austin. Dez helped, but Austin was the one that finally pulled me out of the canyon, and into the sunny rays of happiness. I thought he'd be the one for me. Clearly, I was far off.
Then, they all left, and pushed me further into the canyon of sorrow. First, Dad dying of a sudden brain tumor, then Team Austin finding the godsend, Annabelle. Now, it's only me and the lonely, but now, the lonely's numbed my life up. The lonely is my constant supply of anesthesia, numbing me from life.
Author's Note: Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote a AN! I apologize for not having wrote anything in a while, I was quite busy with packing up for a 2 month vacation, and my CRCT's. Now, I'm here though! I feel like this was a lot better in my head though, when I had a few ideas for some of the lyrics...
Anyway, now I'm back! Hopefully, I'll write more stuff, though I doubt it. But, I'll see. Anyway, I don't own Austin and Ally, I don't own "The Lonely" by Christina Perri, I don't own Poreotics. Got that?
Well, this clearly is the shortest AN I've ever wrote here. :O Before I go, people, please read and review! The others are nice, but those two are the important ones for me. And if you review, please let me know if you possibly want this to become a multi-chapter story! Well, I gotta go now! Bye!
-The Reading Wizard