Thoughts of an Arrow
It was late. Another night of empty leads and false information. I had nothing on the whereabouts of Speedy...the REAL Roy Harper...
As I stand on the rooftop of my apartment building, I look down and in my hand is a bundle of twenties.
"Is this what its come to?" I ask myself.
Ollie would kill me for this. But I wasn't the adopted son of Oliver Queen...I was just a copy...
I had still kept to doing hero work but in truth I was no better than the common thieves I were catching. That didn't matter...nothing did.
I shoot my grappling hook and slide down on my bow for another night of "saving" the innocent. In truth I needed to pay the bills...nothing more.
As I land in an alley, I trip and fall into a puddle. My reflection catches my eye and I see how shaggy my hair has gotten.
"You've really lost yourself, Red."
The sound of a familiar voice. I look around and no one is around. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.
I shrug it off and continue my usual nightly run. Stop a few thugs here, save a helpless guy there. Easy. In return I give myself a little "reward". After a few attempts I tire easily and take what I can then head home. I feel like my body's failing me.
I swing into the window of my apartment. Its run down. Empty. Nothing but a tv, a small table and a couch with a pillow and blanket. The kitchen is littered with the packages of instant noodles and old cartons of take-out.
I sit on the couch and count the money lain out on the table. Then I hear her voice again.
"Even I know this isn't you...Roy..."
I jump up defensively, getting an arrow ready. I peer around in the darkness but no one is there.
"You wouldn't hurt your wife would you?"
My eyes widen in shock.
"Jade?" I call out
"You're a good man Red."
Her voice haunts me and I feel sick.
"What do you know? You left, remember!" I shout into the empty darkness.
She appears in front of me without her mask and I see a rare emotion on her face. Sadness.
"If you want money, then here."
I hold out some of the money but she doesn't take it.
"Red...look at you. You've let yourself go."
I don't look at her. I have nothing left but my drive to find Speedy. Even if it costs me my life.
"No I didn't. You did..." I reply coldly.
"I left because finding Speedy was all you cared about! It's killing you Roy and its killing me to see you like this!"
"Rare for you to be concerned about me." I spit back.
I hear the rain begin to pour outside and I go to close the window. Oddly enough Jade doesn't move. She stands there, her eyes fixed on me.
"Roy I'm always concerned...I love-"
My temper flares and I cut her off.
"You're nothing but a criminal! Just like the rest! Its all a cover isn't it! I was just part of your job!"
My voice is hysterical and lightning flashes followed by the rumble of thunder.
"Just leave..." I say it quietly.
"Roy..." Her voice is soft and I feel a weight in my chest. The remnants of what we used to have.
"Go!" I yell throwing the pillow at her and she fades away like an illusion. Then I realize it was my mind playing me the whole time.
But it felt so real. The heavy feeling still weighing my heart down like an anchor. No sound but the pitter patter of rain against the window.
I clutch my chest and fall to my knees, feeling the tears fall down my cheek. I reach under the sofa and pull out a torn picture. Its of Jade when we had married. The only picture I have of her and for a small second I think...is this all worth it?
It's not...
For that moment the desire I had in finding the real Roy vanished. My only thought was...
Nothing...I have nothing left...