Yayz! It's a crossover I thought-up that actually works! I could cry little tears of happiness!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. I do not own King of Bandits: Jing.
"So Jing… what's next on the agenda?" the albatross asked his stealing companion. The King of Bandits smiled and straightened the magazine page as it flapped in the wind.
"I heard of this when we were passing through that little desert town. I checked in on it and this is what I found," he explained as the bird put his beak close to the page.
"Not bad. But what town are you talking about?"
"You know… the one with that girl named Rose?" Jing said, slightly elbowing the bird. The albatross looked at the sunset, his eyes hearts.
"Oh, that was one hot little bauble," he sighed. Jing let out a laugh.
"Bauble? That's not what you were calling her! C'mon Kir, just admit it!" And so, the bandit and talking bird continued to bicker as they walked through the desert towards a town called Central. The magazine page fluttered where it was left and finally tore out of the magazine. It floated away like a listless ghost.
"That dang Mustang!" the small blonde groaned as he slammed down his juice, making the orange liquid splash up and land with little plops. The suit of armor sitting across from him hurriedly picked up a napkin and wiped up the little orange plops.
"Come on Ed, it can't be that bad," the little boy's voice reverberated out of the suit of armor.
"Oh yeah?" the blonde scoffed, banging his head on the table.
Flashback
"Hey, FullMetal, I've got an assignment for you," the colonel had mumbled from behind his stack of old and unsigned papers. Ed had gave a lazy salute and sat on the desk.
"What do you want this time?" Ed yawned. Mustang put down the papers and shook a little black bang out of his eye.
"There's supposedly a man coming to town and it's got the higher-ups in a fuss," he groaned, twirling his finger in the air for emphasis. "He's the 'Bandit King' and there's a rumor that he's gonna steal something… special. Either way, they think that catching him would 'boost the morale of the town' so, yeah… I'm giving it to you to take care of. Now, shoo little alchemist and wrangle up this thief," and on that note… Mustang swiveled around and looked out the window, waving his hand towards the door.
End Flashback
"Oooooooooooh," the armor said. Ed glared at the salt and pepper shakers.
"Yeah, so now I'm stuck trying to get this dang fake Bandit King off the street like some kind of pancake! Why me Al, why me?" Ed whined. Al shrugged his metal shoulders.
"I don't know. Maybe it's because you decided to become a dog of the military. Oh, maybe it's because you're so good at beating up helpless bandits," Al said sarcastically.
"Are you ever going to get over her, Alphonse? She was bad news!" Ed groaned.
"No she wasn't!" Al said. Ed groaned and sat up straight in his chair.
"I don't have time to argue with you right now! Honestly, though, I'd rather argue than look for this two-bit Bandit King!"
"Hey! Watch who you're calling two-bit, you half-pint!" came a voice from across the café. Ed jumped up and ran over to the table.
"Who are you calling a half-pint who could fit in a coffee cup? Let me hear you say that to my face, you duck!" Ed screeched. The boy looked up from the tea he was drinking out of and gave the alchemist a blank stare.
"I didn't say a word. And I'd watch who you call a duck, he's pretty sensitive," he said, pointing to the bird sitting on his shoulder like a parrot on a pirate. The bird jumped up and hovered in his face.
"Watch who you're calling a duck! I'm a fair-feathered albatross for your information! Are you blind as well as short?" the bird squawked. Al came up behind Ed and grabbed his arms just before the short alchemist lunged at the bird.
"Watch it bird, or I'll cook you with a side of pineapples and bacon!" Ed shrieked. The boy jumped up and grabbed the albatross by the tail-feathers.
"Would you two shut up! You," the stranger said, looking at the blonde alchemist. "Get a psychiatrist to help you with your size issue and Kir," he said, looking at the bird in his hands. "Shut up before I tie you up and sell you on the black market for peanuts."
"Aww Jing, you know you couldn't do anything without me," the albatross gushed. The boy made a point of freeing his right hand and holding it up. The bird froze.
"You wouldn't." Jing shrugged as if thinking about it.
"I don't know. That boy had a good idea when he said 'pineapples and bacon," he grinned and sat back down, freeing the bird to flutter around his head like a fly around honey.
"C'mon Jing, ol' buddy, ol' pal!" the bird continued to rant as the boy drank his tea as if nothing was wrong. Finally, Jing brought a hand up and grabbed the bird, making him land on the table.
"You'll have to excuse Kir. He's pretty attached to the legend of the Bandit King. In fact, we're pretty amazed that the legend got all the way out here," he said in-between drinks of tea.
"There's a legend?" Ed asked as Al let go of his older brother.
"Pull up a chair," Jing said, waving for a waitress. A very pretty one hurried over.
"What can I help you with?" she gushed like a fountain. Jing leaned in close to the waitress.
"I seem to be a little short on cash, but I'm oh so hungry. Do you think you could help a starving artist get a little cake?" Jing asked, leaning in close and kissing the girl on the cheek.
"Yes sir!" she sighed and practically floating off. The albatross chuckled.
"A starving artist are we now?"
"You're an artist?" Ed asked, sharing a look with Al from their spots at the table.
"You wouldn't understand my art, FullMetal," Jing laughed.