Payson was just about to get into position for her floor routine when she felt his presence. When she turned around there were only a few inches between them. It frustrated her that he had already gotten so comfortable with her again when she had only kissed him a week ago. The conversation they had about that incident had helped ease the tension, yes, but she still needed some space. Her feelings for him had not gone away and she just needed some room to breathe.
"Remember to work on your extentions, Payson, and try to give it more personality." Sasha said. "What do you mean?" said Payson. "I mean I want to see the story you are portraying on floor to reflect in your eyes. I want to feel your emotions in this routine." At this point Sasha was getting passionate by what he was saying and he seemed to draw closer to Payson the more he spoke. She almost forgot there was a room full of other gymnasts and felt the urge to kiss him again, only this time she hoped he would grab her waist and pull her close to his body while he passionately kissed her till they both had ran out of oxygen. But she knew he would never want her the way she wanted him so she came to her senses and turned to walk to center of the mat. She folded into her first position and waited for Sasha to start the music.
As Sasha watched Payson on the floor he couldn't help but be mesmerized by her every move. She is beautiful wom-girl. Sasha corrected his thoughts. He began to think about how wrong he was for falling for Payson in the first place, but he couldn't help himself. To him, she was becoming his everything and he feared that might never change. When the music began to fade, Sasha regained focus and saw that Payson was in tears. He knew Payson was not one to cry in public, so something had to really be wrong. He ran up to her and whispered in her ear to follow him into the office. He wanted to ask her why she was upset, but he also knew she wouldn't want anyone to see her this way so he wanted to give her some privacy.
Once they got up to the office Payson had stopped crying. She sat on the couch, leaned her head back, and closed her eyes. Sasha came and sat next to her and began to gently caress the side of her face. Payson relaxed with his touch and let out a small sigh. For a moment, she let herself believe he loved her. She let herself indulge in his soft touch. She felt so safe when she was around him, so loved, but she knew it was a lie and these feelings she had were wrong. She quickly got up and moved to lean against his desk.
"Payson, what's wrong?" Sasha asked. "You! You are my problem!" She said and she began to walk out of the office when Sasha quickly grabbed her hand and stopped her in her tracks. "What do you mean? What have I done to hurt you Payson?" "Sasha I'm in love with you!" The silence hung heavily in the air. Sasha had no idea how to respond. He knew what he wanted to say but not what he should say so Payson was the first to speak. "I kissed you, Sasha, and I know you said you would have done the same if Nicolai was a woman, and you cared for him, but it's not the same! I can't concentrate when you're near me. When you speak to me all I can think about it that moment when my lips touched yours. You are all I think about and I can't seem to get you out of my mind. Somewhere in the time that we've spent together, I fell in love with you and it's never been the same since…" for a moment, she paused and sighed deeply while her eyes stayed planted to the floor. "But don't worry; I know I'm just some young, naïve girl and you don't feel the same way. You pushed me away, I understand, and I'm doing everything in my power to move on, but you aren't making it easy for me. You need to give me some space, Sasha, please. I know you still need to coach me, and that's fine, but you don't need to take care of me. I'll be okay."
Sasha was having the hardest time processing what Payson was saying. She had just told him she was in love with him. It had been hard enough staying away from her after she kissed him, but now she had told him this. He hated that he had hurt her by pushing her away but it's what he had to do. He would never forgive himself if he ruined her chances of going to the Olympics. Payson needed him to stay away, and he would do anything for her, even if it meant it would kill him in the process.
"Payson, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you." Sasha was looking directly at Payson, though her eyes were still looking down. "I'll give you as much space as I can…" "Thank you." Was all she said before she quickly opened the door to the office and left.
Sasha stood there in silence trying to take in all the emotions he was feeling. He had known all along he cared for this girl, but right now, he was starting to realize that somewhere in the time he had been coaching Payson; he had fallen in love with her as well and it terrified him to think he was letting the love of his life slip away from him.