Lawyers: Dum dumdum dum dum dum dum dum can't touch this!
... Ya know, just because I don't own Naruto doesn't mean you have to rub it in my face.
Lawyers: ... Dum dumdum dum dum dum dum dum can't touch this!
Itachi: ...They're singing.
Naruto: ...?
Itachi: Why are they singing?
Naruto: They're lawyers, I'm surprised that they can still have human emotions.
Sephiroth: If I didn't know any better I would've thought that was a lawyer burn.
Naruto: Piss off, Mama's boy!
Kyuubi: Excuse blondie. It's his time of the month.
Cloud: ...Period?
Scar: (rolls his eyes) He's talking about the full moon, you twit.
Alucard: I personally like red moons better.
Vincent: Ditto.
Sephiroth: ...Guys? Have you ever noticed that most of the we're-
Kyuubi: Horny?
Alucard: Drunk off of blood?
Itachi: Insane?
Vincent: Hungry because we just ran out of blood then go insane from lack of blood then have hot, rabid mansex in a closet because we're horny?
Sephiroth: ...Never mind.
...Damn, you guys are random.
Naruto: Technically, it's your fault because you wrote this script.
Itachi: I agree because Naruto would never say technically...
Scar: True that.
...I see. Oi, I don't own Full Metal Alchemist, InuYasha, or Shaman King.
---
The day had finally come. Three years after the betrayal of Sasuke Uchiha the war had finally come... and Naruto Uzumaki was eating ramen. Some things never changed. Naruto killed a Sound nin as he payed the old man for his numerous bowls of ramen then smiled. "Thanks for the food," he happily chirpped. The old man nodded in shock then Naruto suddenly sniffed the air. "They're fighting again," he whined, "I can't believe they're fighting... again!"
Kyuubi stirred in his cage and rolled his eyes. "What do you expect them to do, kiss and make up," the demon snarled in disgust. "Besides, the boy needs to learn his place, I'm surprised he hasn't died years ago. Uchiha prodigy, my ass! All he does is brood. The only way Sasuke could kill Itachi is if he poisons his air with so much angst that Itachi can't bear to live anymore and he slits his own throat," Kyuubi solemnly said.
Naruto blinked once, twice, thrice then sighed. "Kyuubi, you're mean," the blonde slowly said. Kyuubi's tails twitched in annoyance and he... well, Kyuubi just twitched in annoyance. "Go find your precious Uchihas before they kill each other," the fox mumbled in frustration. Naruto smiled and skipped off to find his two favorite boys.
"I hate you," Sasuke screamed as he charged at Itachi with Chidori. The eldest Uchiha simply rolled his eyes and side-stepped the attack. 'I should've killed him a LONG time ago,' Itachi said to himself as he kicked Sasuke in the stomach.
"Hey, that wasn't very nice," Naruto said as he helped Sasuke to his feet and dusted him off. "Olders brother are supposed to look after their little brothers!" "I left him alive," Itachi muttured, "isn't that enough?" "NO," Naruto roared surprising both Uchihas, "Sesshomaru is a better brother than you and he freakin' hates InuYasha! Envy and Ed hate each but... well, Envy just really, really, really, really hates Ed so they're not a good example. Yoh and Hao are brothers and Hao tried to wipe mankind off of the face of the earth by absorbing the King of Shamans but-"
"Naruto, focus," Itachi snapped as he flicked Naruto in the forehead. Sasuke just looked on in confusion as Naruto's eyes crossed then uncrosed. "Oh, damn it to hell," Kyuubi snarled as he took over Naruto's body. "WHY DOES MY HOST HAVE TO BE SO STUPID," he screamed to no one in particular.
Itachi and Sasuke saw red eyes and took a step back. "Don't try to run now, you bitches," Kyuubi sweetly said, "I just wanted to have a talk with my favorite mortals." "Can we do this some other time," Sasuke asked, "I plan to live." "You won't live for a very long time if you don't sit your ass down and shut up," the demon purred. Sasuke wisely choose to sit down despite the blood that covered the spot he was sitting in. Itachi scowled but made no move to leave.
"I would rather kill you two because you're so damn annoying but my host is more annoying that both of you combined so you must die of natural causes," Kyuubi said. Sasuke and Itachi twitched but stayed silent when Kyuubi showed them a mouth full of extremely sharp teeth. "I will talk, you will listen, and then later on we will all act like this never happened. If anyone ever speaks of this he will be shot," the demon said. Both Uchihas raised their eyebrows and looked at Kyuubi. "Yes, I said he will be shot. Now, stop looking at me like that and listen."
The Facts of Life
No one ever said that life would be easy,
I could say something cliché and cheesy,
But that ain't me,
It's time for you to see,
That all that glitters isn't gold,
And that's a lesson you should remember even as you grow old,
Because two wrongs don't make a right,
That just leads to an even bigger fight.
It's better if you admit you were wrong,
Because then your heart would be strong,
Enough to take the shame and hold the pain,
Then let it wash away in the rain,
And let your soul cry out with a great hallelujah,
Because you didn't let the pain get to ya,
That just goes to show,
You're not the person people think they know
Your are yourself and you should never let someone else define you,
Just keep on doing the things you do.
Now pay close attention my friend,
Because in the end,
You shouldn't have a single regret,
You must not forget,
Your life is your own,
And your sins are something you must atone,
But don't let it get you down,
Because you look cuter when you smile than when you frown.
"...," was the response Kyuubi got from both Uchihas. The demon was just about to strangle them in frustration but then Naruto regained control of his body. "Stupid, murderous, flea-infested fur ball," the blonde muttered. "Shut up and deal with your angsty teen muffins of doom," Kyuubi snarled, "If I see either of them again someone will die and it sure as hell won't be me!" "Drama queen," Naruto sneered out loud, "I don't even know why I bother to try to even talk to you. At least you were able to have a life!"
Though this was directed at a certain bitchy, nine-tailed fox Sasuke shifted. Itachi could've killed him a long time ago. Hell, Itachi should've killed him a long time ago. But he didn't, Itachi didn't kill him. He told him to live and to hate so he could become strong, Itachi told him to live. The irony always left a bitter taste is Sasuke's mouth. It was... disturbing. Itachi killed, no, Itachi slaughtered their family yet he told Sasuke to live.
Naruto was still ranting but even he noticed the change in the air. The earth seemed to hold its breath until Sasuke spoke. "I still hate you," he quietly said to Itachi. The elder Uchiha simply sighed. "I guess that's all you can do then," Itachi said with a hint of sadness. Despite the heavy atmosphere Naruto smiled. They were tired, bitter, and angry but Itachi and Sasuke were still brothers. Now how were they going to tell Sasuke that they were... "involved?"
Stay tuned for the sequel, Living Life!
Sasuke: ...She doesn't like me that much, does she?
Alucard: A brain-dead monkey could see that!
Goku: ...Now that just stung.
Itachi: ...Exactly which Goku are you?
Goku: Saiyuki Goku.
O.B.S (Official Bishounen Squad for those of you that have forgotten): ...Who?
Kyuubi: The cute, loud-mouthed one!
O.B.S: Oh, that one!
...I know it's been a while but I would be honored if you guys would give a lazy authoress a couple of reviews.
Scar: Not only are you lazy but you're also very-
Finish that sentence and you'll be dead faster than you can say "Character Death."
Scar: ...You are a very evil little girl.
What was that muses? Did you guys just say uke!Scar? With seme!Envy?
Alucard: ...No, but I was thingking it.
Vincent: Me too.
Scar: ...I'll go sit in a corner now.
Good boy.
Vincent: She's almost as bad as Hojo.
Darling, I'm worse than Hojo. He created Sephiroth but I can create things much more beautifully twisted.
Naruto: ...Eep.
Itachi: The wrath of a woman no matter her age is still something to be feared.
Cloud: ...Is that why you're hiding under the table with Naruto?
Itachi: ...Yes.
Cloud: ...Is there room for one more?
Itachi: ...Yes.
Cloud: Move over then!
Sephiroth: Hello, everyone. It is I, the Great Sephiroth. No autographs. I could join the mindless babble but instead I choose to speak with you, the readers. I would like to ask-
Kyuubi: Review the damn story or I'll feast of your flesh!
Sephiroth: ...Do you mind?
Kyuubi: Shove it.
Before this turns into a cat fight-
Kyuubi and Seph: HEY!
I just ask you to review and give me an honest opinion of what you thought.
Vincent: Feed the muses, send your blood to-
VINCENT!
Vincent: PleasereviewandMidnight-samathanksyouforreadingthis!
Alucard: Long live the madness that is Midnight-sama!
Sasuke: ...HELP ME!