"I don't understand." I said, sitting on the little bed in the doctor's office. The paper crinkled under my bottom. My mom sat beside me in the small wooden chair, crying quietly. Apparently she knew what was going on.
"I'm sorry, Kaylee. I hate to have to tell you this. You have esophageal cancer." I stared at my doctor, not exactly sure how to respond. "You will need to go over to the cancer center to talk to your Oncologist. She is a wonderful woman, and she will explain how your treatments will work. I really am sorry, sweetie." The doctor placed his hand on my hand gently, and then stood up and walked away.
My mom, Brenda, was crying harder now. I looked down at her from my position on the bed, and placed my hand on her shoulder. "Maybe we should go talk to the Oncologist." I suggested quietly. I felt like I was going to throw up. I felt the pressure to stay strong for my mother, even though I felt like my world was being destroyed. Together, we walked to the cancer ward to search for my new doctor.
The doctor was extremely sweet, and she explained everything to me. My cancer wasn't too advanced, it shouldn't be hard to treat. The tumor in my throat wasn't huge, so I wouldn't have to worry about having a feeding tube. My treatments would start on Monday, and today was Wednesday. I would have chemo every Monday and then radiation three days a week. She gave me a few packets and pamphlets and sent me on my way, she said I had a lot to take in.
My mother didn't say a word to me on the way back to our small house in La Push. We lived right near the little grocery store, which is where I worked part time. I had just graduated from high school, and I was planning on going to college to be a nurse, which would be expensive, so I saved as much money as I could. "Mom, I think I'm going to go next door. I need to talk to Embry." She looked torn, but she finally agreed to let me go.
I knocked on the door and Embry opened it, grinning widely. "LeeLee! What are you doing here?" Embry was a year younger than me, he was about to begin his senior year in the fall. He had been my best friend since I started high school.
"I need to talk to you." My voice was beginning to crack slightly, and I saw his eyes widen. He opened the door wider and invited me in, and we went upstairs to his room. "I just came back from the doctor. He said the reason I have been having a little trouble swallowing is because of the tumor in my throat. He told me… that I have cancer. In my esophagus." Embry looked like he was going to be sick, and he was shaking incredibly hard.
"God, LeeLee. I'm so sorry." His voice was rougher than normal, and he pulled me in close to his extremely warm body. I finally couldn't hold back my tears, and I started to sob into his chest.
After crying for what felt like hours, I pulled back from his soaking wet shirt. His cheeks were damp as well. "Embry? Jacob is here!" His mother yelled up the stairs. He quickly wiped his cheeks and stood up. Jacob walked into Embry's room, grinning widely.
"Hey man, what's going-.." He trailed off, looking into my eyes. I had met Jacob Black only a few times before, even though he was another best friend of Embry's. He was staring at me like he was seeing the sun for the first time, and I could feel Embry begin to shake again.
"LeeLee, I'm gonna walk you to your house, okay? If you need to talk, come back whenever." He shot Jacob a look as we walked past him, and I offered the tall man a weak wave. He looked dazed still, and he sat down on the edge of Embry's bed. "LeeLee, I really am sorry. I'm going to be here for you every step of the way." He promised, hugging me tightly. I hugged him back, sniffling into his chest. He was such a sweet boy.
"Thanks Em. Go back to Jacob, I'll be okay." I felt a strange tug in my chest when I mentioned Jacob's name, but I didn't say anything about it. Embry kissed my forehead and went back into his house, and I opened the door to mine. My mom was sitting at the kitchen table, the phone in one hand and a pen in the other. She was writing furiously on a notebook in front of her. I didn't say anything, instead just going upstairs and going into the bathroom.
I turned the faucet on, filling the tub up with extremely hot water. I stripped out of my clothes and slid down into it. Even though it was burning hot, I was still shaking. I felt like I couldn't comprehend what had happened today, everything felt like a dream. Also, for some reason, I couldn't get Jacob Black out of my mind. He had some type of hold on me, and I hope that I get to see him again.
I decided not to call into work the next day. If I sat around the house all day by myself, I would be depressed and miserable. I got to the store and put on my little apron, and counting my cash register the manager presented me with. I walked over to my register area and flicked on the light, letting the customers know that my line was open.
After a few hours of some nice and not so nice customers, a familiar face came through my line. Jacob Black sat down a ridiculously large amount of hot dogs, hamburgers, buns, and baked beans. "Jacob! How are you?" I knew that I sounded overexcited, and I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment.
"I'm good, Kaylee. How about you?" He looked at me adoringly.
"I've been better. What are you doing with all of this food?" I asked, scanning the groceries and placing them in bags.
"We're having a bonfire tonight down on the beach. Do you think that you would, maybe want to come hang out?" He looked down at the ground nervously for a split second before making eye contact again.
"That sounds .. okay. I get off in about thirty minutes, I can make it tonight." Jacob smiled a huge beautiful smile, and it made my heart flutter.
"Great! See you tonight!" He said, paying for his groceries and pushing the buggy out of the store. I leaned against my register, feeling flustered and woozy. I couldn't wait until tonight. But I didn't want to get to close to Jacob, I didn't want him to have to deal with the stress of my illness.