Title : Beautiful Emptiness
Author : Nadia Blackrose
This fic is set some years later after the end of Harry Potter's last book, so I've got to warn you that you will find some major spoilers. In case you haven't read the last book, I'd advice you to turn back, otherwise read at your own cost.
You're the worst of all,
With all your accusations and compunction
I can't suffer this duress,
From someone so deprayed and selfish
You embody all that I've been through
Without you I am sure I will be loved
My existence conforms to your distress
Your ambition, the cause of mine
A disruption, I'm nothing, even less
Misfortunes never come singly and I was there to stay
You don't allow me a single place,
Nor any love into your lives
An unperceived, annoying presence you'd rather ignore
But in my life you know you'll leave... a beautiful emptiness
Beautiful Emptiness, After Forever
The sun was hidden somewhere in the endless grey of the horizon, spread across the sky. Small rays of light were struggling their way, in great effort, constantly wishing and longing to escape from the thick, ominous clouds covering the dark corners of London... And the most magical place of all London bore one magnificent name : Diagon Alley, a place meant for the Wizarding World, providing the upcoming wizards with amazing staff, such as wands, books for the school, even entertaining tricks. All you ever wanted, all you ever craved for could be found there. Everything.
Muggles barely knew about it, or even few who did barely spoke of it.
For some places are still bound to be kept secret, and always will be, but for a few exceptions.
It was in Diagon Alley where his tall figure was walking, full of self confidence and pride, spectating with pleasure the newest members of the wizarding world, who were scrutinizing the stores in hopes of finding the necessary books. Girls and boys, of all ages, mainly from eleven to eighteen, could be seen wandering around, along with their parents, many of whom were now setting their eyes upon that man. For this man was no common wizard, not in the slightest bit. On the contrary, he bore a heavy story within him, a life enriched with adventures, both happy and miserable ones.
He was Harry Potter. He was the boy who once shocked tremendously the wizarding community from the very first beginning of his tragic life, when he had survived the cruel death curse from the greatest evil wizard the world ever met.
Tom Riddle was called by the muggles, Lord Voldermort by the wizards. So fearsome and terrible that even a single calling of his name might lead you to death. For his ears were always listening, his eyes set everywhere, a devil without flesh, but always capable of destruction.
Until he met his match, Harry Potter...
Harry's life had been a sad fairy tale , full of misfortunes and miserable events : he had seen his parents, friends, his most beloved people sailing away to the other side. Him staying behind, mourning their traumatic loss, discovering the wicked face of life the most violent way.
He had learnt truths too bitter for a young existence to bear, but in the end he had managed to do it... he had won over Voldemort and triumphed over life, offering a more peaceful world to be held by the hands of the next generation wizards and men. An ideal world for kids, his own and Ginny's, Ron and Hermione's, but also for other children. Like the ones who were running cheerfully around him, their parents chasing behind them, lecturing them for being too hasty. But at the same time, they were praising them for the enthusiastic way in which they were holding their new books within their cute tiny hands...
Nostalgia washed over Harry Potter that very moment.
He remembered his youth, confessing to himself that he had no good relationship with books, in fact, he despised those huge piles of paper used in lessons.
Just like his father, as far as he knew.
His lips formed a faint smile, as if not a single day had passed from his still young looking face. Most probably, he wasn't the best student, though having a great potential. All the same, Hogwarts was not only his school, but also his escaping door from that choking storing place he used to sleep for most of his childhood, stored by his uncles like a useless, worthless, twisted possession that no one cared for...
Why did he have to recollect of the Dursleys, all of a sudden? What was wrong with him?
He frowned at the reminiscence of his previous life, and the worst was yet to come, for the ghosts of his past were being unleashed before his very eyes, just a few metres away from him, where a figure unexpected, still unidentified was lingering...
Could it be? How come? And why? Was he... Dudley??
It was not that face which made Harry gasp in shock by the astonishment, neither this slim silhouette of that man. A strange, ominous feeling, a wave of energy penetrated Harry's veins, implying that this figure wasn't someone unknown, neither the most pleasurable person that reappeared in his life, of all the people, of all the places.
He was the one he didn't really long to see again...
Dudley, his spoiled cousin who used to give him a hard time, the one who was receiving all the loving care and affection of his parents.
Harry, on the contrary, had always been an unwelcome guest, an intruder that was ruining the perfect equilibrium of this happy- for them- family.
Just because he was a wizard.
To make matters worse, he lived with them, occupying their precious space, living at their own expense, reminding them his unpleasant existence by his unpleasurable presence in their home...
It was a crime that he had the face to breathe inside their home, and not be charged for that...!
Harry took a glance upon him, and a small tear slipped from his green eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses, unconsciously, the same way droplets of water could be spilled unintentionally when stored in an overflowing glass...
A small, mindless teardrop was shed, not for Dudley, not for the Dursleys, but for the family he never had when he was a young child.
Though he may be a mature man now, with a happy family, kids running for his tender embrace and a woman who adores him, still is he tormented by bitterness when his mind dives and immenses into the depths of his tortured soul, bringing back to the surface his agonizing childhood experiences.
His wounds lay open once more...and they cut so deep.
Once more, Harry recollects the time when he felt the love of no one related to him, the sister of his mother, her husband, not even their own son and a sob climbed his lips about this childish complaint he still carries within him, like a thorn piercing his soul, a beautiful emptiness filling his emotions...
Dursleys, Dursleys, Dursleys all over...
Life with them had been intolerable, suffocating, insufferable. To his luck, they eventually separated. But two words were still torturing his confused mind, an abeyance swinging unbearably over his head, making him wonder how things might have been today after that "Thank you." of Dudley, said right before the time of separation, his face staring at Harry in sadness and gratitude, realising the love he had been feeling for that "different" cousin...
"Why am I loved only when I'm gone?" had thought Harry back then, without seeking for an answer to this painful question of his.
Until now, just right here , in this Diagon Alley that he had walked a thousand times and knew the place like the palm of his hand, in a world less expectable to come across to that lost relative of back then...
His heartbeat was growing rapidly, his feelings contradictory, confusing, willing to make his legs move towards Dudley, greet both him and the child he carried along, looking at the weird shops, full of curiosity, lost, not knowing this unusual place (perhaps that child was Dudley's, who inherited some of the magic power flowing into the veins of the family, between Lilly and Petunia, though aunt Petunia could do nothing without using a wand, neither had she accepted to cultivate this gift, refusing to go at Hogwarts along with her sister for fear she would end up being a freak ).
On the other hand, an invisible magical power commanded Harry to turn his back and change course, turning his back to the bitter incarnation of the past as well.
He stood still, hesitant, as if time had frozen upon him, his mind's clock ticking by, unstoppably. The whole world began spinning around him, passers by staring at him in a weird way, others completely ignoring him, especially young people who were oblivious to his identity or had yet to be taught about this living legend in the world of wizardry...
What should he do?? Such great dilemma it was...
''Thank you...'' Dudley's voice echoed once more inside his troubled mind... Though he hadn't spoken it, he had only formed the words by using his firm lips, before his mother had dragged him over to the car...It felt as if he had heard it by an inner voice...
Despite Harry's animosity towards the Dursley's, despite his furious bitterness, there was still a force more powerful than logic, stronger than the most powerful spell, tearing apart every rule commanding his inner self, breaking thoroughly his defences . It was the power of his heart's magnificence, so fierce and strong that could not bear a grudge against anyone. Having sent away the dark clouds of hatred from her, this heart was full of compassion, mercy and forgiveness, able to give birth to friendly emotions.
Only because of those two words formed at Dudley's lips, back then.
Last, but not least, there was another significant reason : he was his first cousin, the nephew Harry's mother never got to know, bearing the same blood and this could not be changed by any means possible.
Blood bonds cannot be changed, no matter what...
Next to his children, Dudley was definitely the last living relative Harry had, and maybe he had changed over the years, through rough situations, even might have gotten mature enough to realise his mistakes, and make up for them.
The fact that he had a child with magical powers, and still he had brought it to this place, was an austere action that could speak for itself pretty enough.
Perhaps Dudley might still remember that he lived once with a boy named Harry Potter...
No matter what the situation was, there was nothing to be lost, so after deep consideration Harry attempted to go towards him...
A/ N
I would be really glad to know how this story made you feel, your impressions towards my writing, constructive criticism is very welcome. Thanks also to the people that helped me correct the detail about Harry's eyes, sorry guys, I had Daniel's face into my head while writing that. :)