Above The Flood
Sebastian Moran had never thought his boss had a heart until the day he'd found Jim curled up in a vulnerable ball with red slits at his wrists. Ever since that day Jim had become much more than just his boss. He realized that Jim wasn't just a neurotic, manipulating, self absorbed, insane, psychopath but a child. A mere child that was hurt and alone, and craving for just someone to love him and fix him.
Sebastian made it his goal ever since not only to carry out any orders the criminal wanted but to protect Jim. To keep him safe from whatever twisted dark thoughts curled around in his genius insane mind and made him reduce himself to a heap of tears and broken skin.
It wasn't easy. Jim didn't like to be seen when he was in that state. No one had ever seen him like that, no one but Sebastian. Which made him suppose that he must be special in some sort of sick way. Or maybe just cursed.
Probably cursed. Everyday with Jim was a nightmare. The man was confusing and reckless and always changing. One minute this, one minute that. Sebastian could barely keep track. Jim kept switching too much, most likely from the effects of some sort of a multiple personality disorder. It was like he was split into these different people.
He could be Moriarty; the most dangerous man in the world. The cold, heartless, bastard everyone got to know. Sebastian called that one the mask. He knew that wasn't real. It was just a cover to hide the depths of the inside. Sure, Moriarty was real. Jim wasn't faking that persona but Sebastian knew there was much more to him than that. That person wasn't the real Jim, that person was a character out of his imagination that had somehow taken over into his real life.
Sometimes he would be Richard Brook, even when it wasn't for 'work'. He didn't become Richard entirely, just sort of channeled him in. That Jim was highly annoying and cheeky. But also strangely, he couldn't believe he was calling him that, adorable. Being with that Jim was like walking around with a ADHD, flamboyant, high-pitched, five year old.
Then there was Jim, his Jim, the Jim that only he got to see.
There were days when Moriarty would drag Sebastian out everywhere for business. There were days when annoying ADHD Jim would make him go to amusement parks or watch ridiculous shows on the telly and there were days where Jim would have some sort of psychotic disturbance that would lead to nervous breakdowns.
Sebastian hated those days. They were so random, so unplanned, and so unexpected. Jim would be fine for days, weeks, and even months, Sebastian would let his guard down and leave him alone then all of the sudden he would find him; broken and confused. There had been so many times where if he hadn't reached in time, he could have lost Jim.
Sebastian doesn't know what he would do if he lost him.
As soon as Sebastian stepped into their flat-no Jim's flat, just because he basically lived there it didn't mean it was his too, he knew it was one of those days. For one, the telly wasn't playing that damned show with the dancing and singing kids. Instead of the usual earsplitting pop crap that Jim played, the stereo was silent and no one called out "Sebby!" or "Sweetheart!" or whatever other cheesy nicknames he got called.
Sebastian sets his bag on the counter and looks around. The flat is unmoving and silent. Too silent. He makes his way past the living room and kitchen and into the corridors that led to the bedrooms. He has a feeling in the pit of his stomach, the one he gets every time it's one of those days, it's his sign of red alert. It never missed but he still hoped that his boss had left to do some business and didn't ask him to join him (although that would also be a problem for Jim was big headed and thought himself immortal.)
Sebastian made his way quietly and carefully to the bedroom. At first it seemed as though no one was in there and he started questioning if Jim was really having a breakdown, but when he pressed his ear gingerly on the door he heard faint sobs. His suspicions confirmed, he tapped the door lightly.
"S-Seb?" A kaput sounding voice trembles from the room. Sebastian feels a part of him lighten a little. He pushes the door open enough for him to see Jim curled up under the sheets shaking a little.
"It's me." Sebastian replies softly. He takes one step into the bedroom but doesn't advance, he waits for Jim's consent.
"Come join me...?" Jim asks in a small voice.
At once Sebastian walks in and slumps down on the bed beside his boss. As soon as he does Jim looks up at him with round, glistening, red tinted eyes. God, Sebastian hated seeing him like that. The way he looked so small with his arms wrapped around himself as though he were trying to clutch the broken fragments of himself. And the way his mouth hung open in a painful 'o'.
"It's okay, it's okay.." Sebastian whispers. He slumps down even more so his face is resting on Jim's pillow.
"Seb, it hurts." Jim chokes out. His eyes get watery and he scoots closer to Sebastian so their noses are bumping. Instantly Sebastian's heart rate speeds but he doesn't think too much about it. Jim needed him right now. He could think about his, what would it be? Feelings? Affection? Love?, later.
"Why does it hurt, Seb? Make it go away." Jim says scooting closer so his face nestles Sebastian's. The sniper sighs and pulls Jim onto his chest. He lets Jim get comfortable and then wraps his arms protectively around him. He wished he could help him, somehow fix him, get him back to normal. It pained him to see Jim like that and not be able to do anything about it.
"Don't you worry, I'll make it go away. I'll make it all go away." Sebastian whispers into his hair as he cradles Jim from all the darkness.
Sebastian didn't sleep when Jim finally drifted off and when Jim woke, his skin looking luminous under the moonlight that shone through the skylight, Sebastian didn't bother going to sleep. He just shuffled around a bit and returned the small smile Jim was giving him.
"How are you feeling?" Sebastian asks brushing a stray eyelash off the younger man's cheek.
Jim yawns and curls into him. "Fine."
"Good, that's good." Sebastian murmurs to himself. He isn't sleepy but he yawns profusely and turns to study the pale man in his arms. He'd always liked Jim's body. It was small and slender, but not in a way that was too fragile like woman's. His back had all these nice arches, his arms were firm and his abdominal area wasn't ripped in muscles but rather soft and sleek.
Sebastian also loved his skin. It was a pale white that looked soft and creamy and wherever he nipped there was always swollen red marks. His marks. Marks that showed that Jim was his and and no one else's.
He also loved Jim's lips, but the thing that had always lured him in were his eyes. Those intense brown eyes that held so much power. They were so rich and hypnotic. Those eyes could control anything. They could bring down empires, destroy cities and kill people.
But they could also be filled with sorrow and wild fear. Or be warm and affectionate and so filled with something that Sebastian couldn't really tell what it was but it made him want to get up and do- he didn't even know what they made him want to do but they made him want to do something. Whatever that thing in them was, it was too strong. It was more intense than his controlling menacing eyes. It was real and it was pure.
It was...love.
"You were thinking about me, weren't you?" Jim asks softly.
Sebastian nods his head and reaches out to stroke Jim's cheek gingerly. Jim notices there's something different in Sebastian, something more tame, and he frowns.
"Is there something wrong, Sebbie?"
Sebastian remains silent running his fingers across his jaw, his chin, his lips...Did Jim love him? Was it possible? Could Jim even feel love?
Did he love Jim?
He was probably better off not knowing.
"M' fine."
Jim smiles and reaches up to kiss him lightly. "Good. Now get some sleep, Tiger. We have work in the morning."
I probably do love him. "Night."