Beginning
be·gin·ning
1. The point in time or space in which something starts.
AkuDemy drabble. Demyx's POV
Everyone says that a new year is a good time for a new beginning. A new start. A time for resolutions and promises to be a better person next year, whether it's to eat less chocolate or stop smoking. I think they're pointless. What's the point in promising to yourself that you'll stop doing something that you know you can't? I'd say that's just false hope.
If I was going to make a new years resolution it would be to stop wanting something I can't have and move on, but I'm not going to bother because I know it's not possible. I'm in too deep and no matter how hard I try I can't get out of it. Fire and water just don't mix. It's common knowledge, and I was stupid to think I could change that; how could he ever be mine?
Fire and light go together. It was meant to be and I'm trying to be happy. I'm trying. And failing. I can't stand it. in meetings, or just passing by, I see them and I feel sick. It's not fair. I sound like a spoilt child not getting their own way, but I don't care. I don't like not getting what I want, but I know I have to get used to it. But it hurts. It hurts so much.
Maybe I'll fade. Maybe it'll pull me down so much that my existence will stop all together. I know it's stupid and if any of the others knew I was thinking this that they tell me I was over reacting and being my normal stupid self. I've always been the stupid one, everyone knows that. I certainly feel stupid for wanting something so much when I knew from the start that I couldn't have it. I suppose I'm just living up to my reputation. Maybe that's one of the reasons he'll never want me. I don't blame him.
But, it's the new year. Who knows, maybe things'll start to look up. Maybe I'll keep my resolution after all