Letters to outer space
By RocketFAN
26 year old John Tracy sat in the small "room" aboard Thunderbird 5 in silence. It had been nearly four months since he had been relieved by his youngest brother, Alan. Or anyone for that matter! Alan was a pro at coming up with lame excuses to get out of his monthly "space duty". So much in fact, that he had their father, Jeff, wrapped around his little finger. It seemed like the only person in the family who actually cared about John was his only older brother, Scott.
"I'll try talking to him again, kiddo," Scott's words echoed in John's head. He knew his father was as stubborn as they came. Scott tried so hard to get it into his father's head that someone just can't stay in an isolated space station for that long of time. The isolation and loneliness eventually gets to him, no matter how "well" he appears to handle it.
"It's not fair, Dad," Scott said softly to Jeff as he sat next to him on the couch. "John deserves a break, for Christ sake!" He said with a louder tone of voice.
"Scott, I've told you before, Alan needs to spend time here because of his training," Jeff said with a sigh of frustration. Scott was not going to give up on the fight.
"Training," Scott scoffed in disgust. "Is that what you call it?" He said nastily with another scoff. "More like playing," he continued as he stood to "challenge" Jeff's reasoning. Something he rarely did.
"Scott…," Jeff said calmly while remaining seated.
"Dad, you don't understand what these excessively long periods of time in space do to John! You think he's up there living it up or something?! He's lonely and isolated for months at a time. I can't even imagine that!" Scott said explosively at his father. His frustration and anger had built up to a level that it rarely does. "Dad… please… please let him come home for a few months," Scott said while desperately trying to control his emotions.
"And who is going to take his place?" Jeff asked a little more seriously as he saw his son's desperation.
"I don't care… I will," Scott replied softly.
"I need you here, Scott. You are Thunderbird 1's pilot," Jeff told him with a subtle shake of his head.
"What about Brains? He can take a few months off and go up to Thunderbird 5," Scott suggested while sitting down again. "Then the whole family would be together for a few months," he added to his suggestion.
"I'll talk to him, Scott. Okay?" Jeff said softly while taking Scott's shaking hand.
"Fine," Scott replied quietly.
The green light flashed on the private link on Thunderbird 5's control panel. John looked up and saw that it was Scott that was hailing him and answered the link.
"Hey, Scott," he said rather unenthusiastically.
"Nice to see you, too," Scott said playfully with a warm smile.
"Sorry," John said with a small laugh.
"I'm sorry, John. I have been pestering Dad to let you come home for a while, but with not much luck," Scott said sadly.
"Don't worry about it, Scott. It's been so long since I've been home that I actually forgot what it was like. I feel like I don't know anything else but this can," John said in a rather soft, monotone voice. He never did speak very loud, but this tone was downright pitiful. Scott sighed in frustration and he shook his head.
"I'm so fed up with him right now. I just don't know how to get it into his head that you matter! He treats you as if you're nothing but a watch dog. But at least dogs get to come in the house once and a while," Scott said without once looking his brother in the eye.
"At least I know that you care about me, Scott. Sometimes I just need to hear it," John said in the same soft voice. Scott could detect a hint of breaking in his voice and looked up at him.
"I know Dad loves you, John. He just has a very hard time distributing his love equally, I guess," Scott said, trying to make John feel better, with little success. John stared silently to his left for a few seconds before turning back to face his brother.
"Look, Scott, I'm going to uh… check on a possible hurricane in Sri Lanka that has been forming. I'll talk to you later, okay?" John said choked up while terminating the link without even letting Scott respond.
"John…," Scott said as John cut him off. He sighed loudly. He knew John was about to cry because of what he had said. Even he wondered sometimes if their father did actually love John. Of course, he knew he did, but it was so subtle.
"Dad?" Scott said as he walked into the lounge.
"Yeah, Scott?" Jeff said with a small cringe. He knew he was up for another argument with his son.
"John has been having some problems with the audio output on Thunderbird 5. I'm going to go and help him find the problem," Scott said while walking past him without a glance.
"Scott, John has a doctorate in communications technology. I doubt he needs your help," Jeff pointed out rather suspiciously.
"Trust me, Dad, he does need my help," Scott said sternly as he sat on the link couch to Thunderbird 3
and set off on the 2 hour journey to Thunderbird 5.
John was tinkering with a control panel when he heard Thunderbird 3 approaching the docking bay. He jumped up to see if he really did hear the ship or if he was hallucinating again. The red rocket gracefully entered the docking hatch and halted with a slight jolt. The door leading into Thunderbird 5 hissed open and Scott walked casually in.
"Scott? What are you doing here?" John asked him rather surprised.
"Well, I though you could use some company for a few days. You seemed pretty lonely earlier when I talked to you," Scott said while walking up to him. He was slightly taken by how pale and sort of "sickly" John looked.
"Really? Is it that obvious?" John asked with a small, sarcastic laugh. "Thanks…," he said softly while throwing his arms around Scott. Scott took a small step back, surprised by John's affection, seeing it so very, very rarely. His brother seemed to fall apart in his arms as he could feel John trembling with pent up emotion.
"Its okay, John. I knew you probably needed some human contact," Scott said while tightening his grip around him.
"I'm… I'm sorry, Scott. I don't… I don't know what's wrong with me!" John sobbed hysterically into Scott's shoulder. "I'm… so mad at Dad for putting me through this… I don't know what to do anymore!" He yelled angrily in a tone that Scott had never heard out of him. "I'm so frustrated! I'm trapped here!" John's voice weakened into a whimper as his feelings of anger turned into feelings of helplessness and he lost all the strength that was holding him up. He felt his knees give out from under him and Scott helped him regain his composure.
"John, listen to me. You need to get away from here for a few days at least. You can fly Thunderbird 3 back home for and stay there for a few days, or a week, so you can regain your sanity. Okay?" Scott said while still holding John on his feet.
"Dad would have a fit if I did that," John replied with a sniffle.
"You let me worry about Dad, okay?" Scott assured John while releasing his grip on him. John looked at him uneasily before responding.
"Okay," he said finally. John threw a few things in a bag and treaded through the hatch doors to Thunderbird 3.
"Take care of yourself, John," Scott said as the doors slid shut. John sat in the pilot seat of the rocket and fired up the engine. He was so worried about his father's reaction when he returned home instead of Scott. "He's headed home right now, Dad. Alan knows how to pilot Thunderbird 1 and so does Virgil," Scott informed his father of the switch. "I think the least you could do is show John a little attention while he's home. He feels like you don't even love him, not to mention care about him. He told me that it's nice to know that at least I care about him. What do you think that does to him, Dad?" Scott asked Jeff from the control seat of Thunderbird 5. Jeff sighed and sat in silence. He knew Scott was right, but he also knew that he was wrong. And he hated that.
"You're right, Scott. You know your right. I don't want my own son to think that I don't love him. I don't even see how he could think that," Jeff said while shaking his head in disappointment. "I suppose I have failed him as a father if he thinks I don't love him," he added sadly.
"Dad… you haven't failed at anything you have ever done, especially being a father. You have done everything for us and we all love you just as much as you love all of us. John just hasn't received the nurturing he needs. He's a very sensitive person who needs that. I think when mom died… a big part of him died with her. He's always been quiet and out of the way," Scott said while picking at his fingernail. He looked up at Jeff and saw that he took in everything he just told him.
"I don't understand how you got so wise, Scott," Jeff said with a small chuckle. He saw so much of himself in his eldest son. From his striking looks to his way of thinking. He was so proud of the way he looked out for his little brother's, especially when Jeff lost sight of them for a while. "John will enjoy his month at home, I promise," Jeff told him.
"Really?" Scott said, catching that "month" part right away.
"Word of honor," Jeff assured him.
"Okay, Dad. Talk to you soon," Scott said with a half smile.
"Good night, son," Jeff replied before terminating the link. The distant engines of Thunderbird 3 were heard about an hour and a half later. Jeff watched the craft land with precision a few minutes before John arrived in the lounge. His eyes were vacant as Jeff greeted him warmly. "Long time, so see," he told his slender son as he hugged him tightly.
"Hi… Dad," John replied, slightly confused at his father's reaction. "You're not mad?" He asked him softly.
"John, I'm so sorry," Jeff said while stepping back to face him. "I love you," he added while pulling John back into his arms.
"I know, Dad," John replied with a content sigh.
A/N: Sorry if that was a little corny. I just thought it up as I went along. Thunderbirds has lost attention for a few years and I thought I would give it a little so it didn't think I don't love it, because I still do and always will.