Probably Wouldn't be This Way

Warnings and Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto nor do I own this song. Shounen-ai SasuNaru, major character death, angst….

Got a date a week from Friday with the Preacher's son,
Everybody says he's crazy, I'll have to see
I finally moved to Jackson when the summer came,
I won't have to pay that boy to rake my leaves
I'm probably going on and on it seems I'm doing more of that these days

Konohagakure was unusually silent in the mid-day hours. There was no bounding blur running down the streets, no one sitting at the ramen stand, but most of all no loud chatter echoing throughout the village. A silent brooding shinobi noticed this as he walked through the village gates as he had many times in his lifetime. The trees were wilting and turning bright with red and golden hues as autumn is setting upon them. Sasuke smiled sadly as he headed on his way home from guard duty ignoring the merchants on the streets and the greetings of a friend here or there, leaving them to look worriedly at his back.

The walk home didn't last that long as everything seemed dull to Sasuke blurring past him as if it were just a painting on the wall to be passed when one must. Opening the door to his apartment he passed his kitchen and living room, the place was empty as it had been for a long time now. Walking into his bathroom the black haired man turned on the water, stripping out of his uniform he stepped into the cold stream not even bothering to let it warm up. He stood there allowing the cold water to beat down on his weary body until it warmed up washing away some of the ache and dirt from a long days work. Washing his hair and body quickly he turned the water off and stepped out of the shower not caring that he was dripping all over the floor the cold breeze felt nice ghosting against his skin. There was always a cold draft in the apartment now it followed him where he went, always with him.

Grabbing a towel from the cabinet Sasuke dried himself off and then wrapped the towel around his hips before exiting the bathroom and heading towards him own room. The bed was unmade and the sheets tousled from a previous night of restless slumber but he couldn't find the energy to make it and walked right past it to his dresser. Pulling out the first things that came into his hands Sasuke began to dress in the pair of black slacks that he pulled out and the navy tank top. When he was finished dressing Sasuke walked back out of the room and the apartment, ignoring his exhaustion, he made his way back out into the streets of Konoha and to the Hokage's tower.

Tsunada smiled at the Uchiha boy when he walked through her doors. "I take it, it all went well Sasuke."

Sasuke nodded and put a smile on his face, more out of habit now than for real feelings. "Yes no one is anywhere near the perimeter of the village and it was quiet throughout the night."

Tsunada nodded back. "How are you holding up Sasuke?"

Sasuke kept the smile in it place on his face but his eyes darkened considerably. "I'm fine." Came the curt reply, "Now can I be excused?"

The Hokage sighed and looked at the village prodigy. "Sasuke… you know he wouldn't want you suffering this way…" But before she could finish she was interrupted as a cold wind swept through the room and Sasuke was gone, sighing again for good measure Tsunada hit her head on the desk in frustration.

I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it,
Oh you left so fast,

Sasuke found himself at the old training grounds watching the Kakashi's new team of Genins going through their first test of trying to get the bells. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself as his old teacher still held Make out Paradise in his hands reading while his team was fighting their hardest to not get noticed and steal a bell. Of course the poor kids had no clue it wasn't really even about the bells but more so their own teamwork, team seven barely figured it out in time. Sighing the obsidian haired man closed his eyes and leaned back up against the tree allowing his mind to wander back to his own childhood. It was funny when he thought about it how much time they all spent at these training grounds it had almost become a second home to himself and Naruto. It even remained such in their adult years, a memory that they refused to give up on. At the thought of the boisterous youth a tear ran down Sasuke's face.

Blood soaked the ground where Sasuke held an injured Naruto in his arms. He was waiting for the Kyubi to heal the man but no tell tale signs of the red chakra were to be found. He felt Naruto cling to him with diminishing strength a brilliant smile gracing the pale lips. "You gave your life for me so many times, it's my turn this time…" The boy spoke the words between gasps of pain. Sasuke pulled the blond even closer and began to sob in the blood covered battle ground all fights dealt with in one immense blow by the one he held. Sure Konoha was safe but what about the light that was disappearing in his desperate grip.

All the other Anbu in the area stopped and watched the heartbreaking goodbye of the lovers. Watched as the boy whose life they had made hell slipped from their hands so suddenly in order to save them. "It wasn't supposed to end this way." A heart wrenching scream was uttered from the Uchiha prodigy's lips as Naruto drew in his last breath.

"Four years ago today, four years it's been since I've seen the sun." Sasuke whispered through his own tears.

Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch
Sometimes I feel I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God give me moments grace
Cause if I'd nevber seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way

Over all the years Naruto and Sasuke had spent together it was amazing how much he had rubbed off on the silent man. Sasuke had learned to smile with ease, how to feel that smile, but mostly how to love and love he did. Or rather was still doing the last, he would love Naruto until the day he died, god willing it be sooner then later. No one noticed the impact the man had, had on the village until it was too late now he was finally recognized as the hero he always had been, but at what cost? He wouldn't trade a moment he spent with the blond angel with sparkling sky colored eyes for anything. But it hurt so much now that he had lost him, hurt more then he could bear at most given times… All those years ago he had looked at the stone and declared he would be on it, no one ever expected him to really follow through with the unconscious statement.

Momma says that I just shouldn't speak to you,
Susan says that I should just move on,
You oughta see the way these people look at me,
When they see me 'round here talking to this stone,
Everybody thinks I've lost my mind but I just take it day by day

The moon shone against the path but the silent man did not need to see where he was going to find it, so much was the path walked. It was silent outside not even a bird could be heard in the darkness. Sakura and Iruka often told him to stop living in the past, to stop taking the familiar route but his feet never seemed to listen. After several minutes of walking Sasuke came upon a white grave stone in a small clearing by the river, though it was too dark to read the inscription Sasuke already knew what it said. Sitting down in front of it on the grass he reached his hand out and lovingly caressed the cold stone. "You know Sakura and Lee are finally getting married… they say their wedding is going to be in the spring when the sakura flowers are blossoming, that was Lee's idea." Sasuke sighed and laid down on the ground, it was warm here, it always has been, and it's almost as if Naruto never left the place. Closing his eyes Sasuke continued to recount the events since he last visited the grave aware of the eyes on him but not caring.

Iruka looked at Kakashi for a moment and they both stepped back behind the tree not wanting to interrupt the scene before them. A tear found it's way down Iruka's cheek and Kakashi pulled him into a tender hug resting his head on Iruka's shoulder. It wasn't until hours after the two older jounin left did Sasuke pull himself away from the grave and walk back to his empty apartment where he would be assaulted with his loves ghost anew.

I probably wouldn't be this way,
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad,
I never pictured every minute without you in it,
Oh you left so fast,
Sometimes I see you standing there,
Sometimes I feel an angels touch
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God give me a moments grace
Cause if I'd never see your face
I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't be this way

Sasuke walked into his bedroom and stared at the figure standing before the window. The blond hair bellowing in a non-existent wind and the blue eyes filled with unshed tears. It wasn't the first time he had seen the apparition but it never ceased to rip his heart out of his chest when it disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared. Pulling off the tank top he had donned earlier followed by the pants leaving only his boxers Sasuke crawled into his cold bed. The black haired man closed his eyes and rolled onto his back only to open them again and stare at his ceiling praying it was all only a bad dream. The ever present wind in his apartment ghosted across his face and body sending shivers through him and a calm sensation to take over his body. "I love you, I always will." Sasuke whispered allowing sleep to claim his exhausted body.

--------- The next morning-----------

"Sasuke! Sasuke Tsunada has to see you she says it's important." Sakura's voice echoed through the apartment unheard. Grumbling the pink haired woman opened the door cautiously and slipped into the dark and cold apartment unconsciously shivering as she did so. "Come on Sasuke this isn't funny." She called again hoping beyond hope that she would be answered by something other then her own echo. Sighing she cast a worried glance through the apartment. It was dark, there were no lights on and no sounds to give away anyone presence, it looked abandoned but that was nothing new in the last four years. Walking into the kitchen she noted the same abandoned look but moved on until she reached the closed door of Sasuke's bedroom. Opening the door she walked into the bedroom and was assaulted by the same silence looking towards the bed that still had Sasuke in it. Sakura sighed in relief and walked over to the bed, as she came closer she noted that no movement was coming from the man. Where his chest should rise and fall with each breath he took there was deathly stillness. Reaching out with a shaky hand Sakura felt the cold pale skin and drew in a sharp breath before letting out a shrill scream that echoed through Konoha alerting others to the problem. It took only moments for some villagers to stumble into the room to find Sakura sobbing in the corner of the room and the pale man sleeping with a smile across his lips and the first peaceful look that had rested on the face in a long time.

------- months later----------

Birds were chirping around the small clearing and the river was bubbling as was its nightly routine regardless of the snow and ice hindering it. The moon shone down across the river and onto the only two stones the rested in the area dusted in icy crystals both sitting next to each other in the frozen ground. An older man and a young child crossed through the clearing only to stop when the boy turned around and gazed at the graves. "Unca' Neji what happened to those two, momma and poppa said they were heroes but wont tell me nothin' else."

Neji sighed and looked down at his nephiew, Kiba and Hinata's son, and then at the graves with a distant look. "Well… Naruto died in a battle saving the village from being decimated as well as saving his love's life… and Sasuke died of a broken heart a couple years later."

The boy looked up at his uncle with knowing eyes and smiled. "No you can't die of a broken heart Unca' that's silly… it just must have been time for them to go on vacation." With that they boy nodded and toddled off unaware of the saddened look on his uncles face while he followed the four year old through the clearing and home.

DS: yup yup I know kinda morbid but well this is one of the reasons why I haven't written snows next chapter ;;; minds to depressed to write what should be written for it.