ONE

It was his first day back. As he drove into the parking lot he was filled with a sense of dread. He didn't know how he would be able to survive the shift. After almost seven years, he had gotten used to seeing her around the lab. Used to working beside her. Stealing glances and smiles. And not so long ago had been used to coming home to spend the day with her. Now she was gone. How was he going to make it through the first day back at work since Sara's death? He felt tears welling up and knew he had to change the thoughts running through his brain. He just didn't know how. And he didn't really want to turn off the images of her that were constantly with him. To make matters worse, Ecklie had called to tell him that a new CSI would be starting tonight—Sara's replacement. How was he going to even look at him? What was his name again? Oh yeah, Glen something...hmmm, Glen Reeves, he thought.

He made his way quickly through the hall and almost bolted into his office. Don't want to have to talk to anyone, he thought. He looked around and saw the miniatures, just where he'd left them. "Damn." He'd get one of the guys to box them up and store them. He didn't want to look at them ever again. One more sad reminder of Sara and her being snatched away from him and out of his life forever. Everything seemed so empty, pointless now. Hopefully work would help. Everybody said it would. He wasn't so sure.

Grissom hadn't really been able to focus on anything since that horrible day when she had disappeared. They had searched for her and scrutinized the miniature looking for clues about her location. He'd tried to interrogate the suspect...murderer...himself. He still felt guilt as he remembered how he'd gotten so close to winning her trust but somehow had messed up. She caught on that that his only purpose was to find Sara and precious time had been lost. If only they could have found her a little sooner. Minutes...seconds …...might have made all the difference. His face twisted as he remembered lying in the mud next to her, reaching under the car in a desperate attempt to pull her close to him. Her hand gasped his and he could still feel the cold muddy grip of her fingers as she struggled to hold on. "Grissom," her weak voice had whispered. "You're here….I knew you would come." He could still hear his own voice, "I'm here, honey, and I'm not letting go. You have to hold on….hold on to my hand….I'm here. Sara...hold on...I need you….I love you. You can't leave me….your the one that's fought for us all along and now I finally get it….stay with me honey. I'll be lost without you," he cried. "Always...with...you," she'd said as her grasp loosened and she slipped away from him forever.

He sat at his desk, tears working their way down his face. Damn, he thought…..can't do this. Sara. Honey, please come through that door...please. The doorway remained empty...as empty as his soul. He wiped away his tears and began to gather strength. The image of her sweet smiling face was foremost in his mind. The image that would always give him the ability to move forward. An image that also would always remind him that he was an incomplete man, a man that would always be missing a huge chunk of his heart.

Finally Grissom took a deep breath and headed out of his office to pick up tonight's assignments. Ecklie had said that Cath had done a good job but he was needed back. It was a close as Ecklie would ever get to complimenting Grissom and saying he did a good job. Funny, once that might have meant something. Now it just didn't matter. He collected the cases and walked toward the break room where everyone would be. He paused briefly to steal himself before entering the room. Finally he stepped through the door where his team and something he'd only recently come to truly appreciate, his friends, were waiting. Their emotions overwhelmed him. No one said anything but it was on their faces—the sadness, the worry, and the sympathy for him. But they were also glad to see him back in his lab. Catherine stepped up and gave him a quick hug. "Good to have you back, boss" The others smiled and expressed similar thoughts and Grissom began to relax. Maybe he'd make it through the night after all.

"Nick, you have a Bobbitt over at the Oasis," he said.

"Ouch" exclaimed Nick in a queasy voice.

Warrick smiled, "I feel for you brother." Greg crossed his legs and sat down. Catherine had to look away to keep from laughing out loud. Okay, thought Grissom, this could be okay.

Just then Ecklie appeared in the doorway with a woman. "Gil... everyone, this is your new CSI…" Damn" thought Grissom, this is where I'm going to lose it. …. "Glynis Rees." The team introduced themselves as Ecklie left. The new addition smiled and offered "Please call me Glyn. It is great to be here."

Grissom was surprised, he was expecting a man. He'd almost been prepared for a guy, but a woman….his heart sank. It was if fate was working against him. He tried to look at her but he couldn't quite get his eyes to focus on her. She seemed to be 40ish with short, auburn hair and about 5 1/2 feet tall. But he couldn't bring himself to look at her face. "I'm just handing out assignments," he said in her direction. "Warrick, Brass is waiting for you out in Henderson. There was a break in and,... well, he called for CSI. Greg, you've got a robbery over on Fremont. Take the newbie with you. No, wait, I think she needs to go with Nick." They all looked at him and Glyn looked stunned. What had he done now, he wondered. "Cath, I need to talk to you about the Wilson case. "Okay everybody, GO."

He began walking toward his office as Cath followed. "Gill….I can't believe you just did that…."

"What?"

She continued, "….called her THE NEWBIE? She has experience AND she has a name, you know." She was giving him the Catherine look. "And you didn't even look at her! Way to make her feel welcome."

"I can't look at her," he said emphatically. "I..I ju.. just can't." He continued softly, sadly... "Not yet anyway. I can't believe Ecklie's already replacing Sara. How can anyone replace Sara?"

"You're right," she responded, reaching out to him and touching his arm. "No one can replace Sara…. especially in your heart. But …..We do need help and hopefully Glyn will be good help. She doesn't know about Sara….doesn't understand how you are hurting. Just try to give her a fair chance, okay? And remember, we are here for you. We're your family and we want to help you get through this….get to a place, well …..Where it doesn't hurt so much.".

"I know, Cath. And I wouldn't have made it this far without you...all of you. But you especially. We've been friends for years and you know me as well as anybody. I couldn't have made it this far without your help. Thanks….I mean it….really, thanks." He gathered her in and hugged her. This must be what's its like to have a sister, he thought.

Catherine shocked that he had opened up and expressed his feelings, returned his hug and then gently pulled away. I'll let him off the hook, she thought. His emotions were really raw and I know he'll be embarrassed later. Better to keep it short.

"Yeah...well, about the Wilson case…" she said and they began discussing the case.